- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013 - Canal St Inn
Okay, so here’s the deal.
I’m Wiccan and marrying the love of my life (an atheist) in my hometown of New Orleans in a pagan ceremony, outdoors. My grandmother is Catholic, and has told me since I told her of the engagement that she cannot attend my ceremony, but can attend my reception. This initially wasn’t much of a shock to me at all, I readily expected it, as we’ve always had some sort of conflict involving religion as long as I can remember. She also missed out on her cousin’s wedding, and was very visibly upset due to it. But she’s still my grandmother and she means a lot me, so while it hurt a lot to hear that, and I did cry some when I got off the phone with her, I was just happy she would be able to see me in a wedding dress.
Last night I finally heard back from my brother with a congratulations and a brief conversation. When I laughingly mentioned my grandmother asking me if I’d have the ceremony in a church, after knowing that I hadn’t stepped foot inside one for a service in nearly a decade, he said something that tripped me up.
He said that he talked to her after finding out about my engagement. And that in that phone call, she said that she would attend HIS non-Catholic wedding ceremony. And when I asked him why, he said because I was baptized, and he wasn’t.
I have never taken any of the other sacrements, except for one confession in my life that I was pushed into, even though I have never taken communion. I have no intention of ever joining the Catholic church, and while I am grateful to the two years of excellent Catholic education that I did recieve (because of my grandmother), I do not see a place for me there. I don’t feel what Christians call “grace” when I’m inside a church.
I’ve found that deep calm and understanding in Wicca, and I’ve found someone who I feel truly completes me. And what’s more, I’ve always been able to rely on her for so much. Currently, my mother (also Wiccan) and I are not really speaking, I’m still debating whether or not I’m inviting her. I’d really like to talk to my grandmother about all of this, but I don’t see how I can when she’s holding a decision that was made for me when I didn’t have the cognitive ability to even begin to understand religion and everything it entails, let alone choose which one I wanted to belong to.
I am so exhausted I don’t even know how to feel about this. I’m depressed, angry, confused, and a plethora of other not-great-emotions.
Anyone have any thoughts?