(Closed) My parents don't care and won't come to my wedding

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
5046 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

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jule1452:  I’d say my mom doesn’t take much of an interest in my life. Sort of a hands off mother while I was growing up, too. I think you have the right plan. Get married here, in the US, and maaaaybe go there and have a nice dinner. Though with the comment of “we don’t care what you do”, I honestly don’t know that I’d bother. Can you just let his family know that unfortunately you are not as close to your own family as you’d like to be? I’m all for being up front. They sound like decent people that you have a good relationship with.

Post # 3
Member
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I haven’t, but I’m sending sympathy to you! It sounds like you’ve got a really good approach in mind! Surely your fiancé can understand that you’re not close with your family, and he can help his own family understand as necessary. If not, just politely lie: “Oh, it’s different in [Europe/Switzerland/birth city/particular neighborhood]!” Culture is a perfect excuse, because no one can disagree with you!

Post # 4
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Your fiance’s family sounds great, and if you’re comfortable with it I would just tell theM the truth. Your family said that they didn’t care, and you only want people there who want to celebrate with you. If you’re not comfortable telling them, I think 

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silkybutterbee‘s suggestion about the culture excuse would work, I would believe it if someone told me that. Good luck! And I’m sorry that your family is acting this way, and glad that your new family sounds so nice!

Post # 5
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Agreed with everyone above. Congrats on finding such a great man and new family, and sorry your family sucks. I’ve always believed that family us what you make it. I agree with you that if they don’t want to come, don’t try to force them or make it inconvenient for your caring guests just because they have the “family” title. Not worth it and will only cause stress and drama.

 

Post # 7
Member
2633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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jule1452:  just tell his family they can’t/don’t travel and stick to your plans… This is YOUR day and the people that want to be there for you, will be there. You should do what makes you and your Fiance happy and don’t worry about those trying to rain on your parade.

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