(Closed) my parents don’t know the real me….

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

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@blondy: You’re as entitled to your opinion as I am to mine, and since you weren’t there, I’m guessing you’d have no clue about the other half of the room. It was pretty annoying when everyone kept asking me what was wrong with them and I had no real answer. Maybe socially awkward would have been a better term, but I heard the word ‘duds’ more than once that night.

And yes, the people we invited had already spent enough money in travelling and paying for rooms for 2 nights, so we weren’t about to expect them to also pay for their drinks. No one in my family/circle of friends has ever had less than a full open bar nor have we ever attended one. Everyone stayed in the same hotel where the wedding was held, but thank you for pointing out any potential liabilities for drunk drivers~the exact reason we had it where we did.

The point I was trying to make was that I think it’s unfair to do something only one side of the family will like, without considering the wishes of the other side. In our case, the other side offered no input or help at all either financially or in offering opinions, so we did what we wanted. It also depends on the venue. You wouldn’t have a keg in a ballroom, but maybe would in a low key outdoor wedding.  The OP knows her family best and sees how they over indulge so doesn’t want that. Offering bottled beer sounds like a good option, tho if someone wants to get drunk, the delivery of it won’t make much difference. 

Post # 18
4122 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well, there are a LOT of options in front of you.

1) Keg behind the bar (not tacky/unseen) and bartender monitors alcohol consumption. You can also tell them who not to serve if necessary

2) Keg behind bar and offer drink tickets

3) Bottles with or without drink tickets

4) Beer/Wine Only

5) the list goes on

I guess for me, I’ve seen a few dry weddings and I’ve seen open bars. I’ve seen weddings where one family is very heavy “party drinkers” and it was low key at the wedding. There’s safeguarding you can put in place to make sure everyone is happy. Bottom line, you probably will tick off half your guests by having a dry wedding, and as a host you should do what you can to ensure they are having a good time. If that means letting them have a few (not too many) than so be it. 

Why not just offer drink tickets? This way everyone can have 3 drinks but not get sloshed. I’m a wine with dinner drinker but I would be pretty miffed by a dry wedding. Not like I would be tipsy with it (I wouldn’t) but I just don’t equate elegant sans wine or drinks with dinner. It would feel childish and I would feel like i’m not considered trustworthy. But that’s just my opinion. Could I still have fun, sure, but would I be OK drinking water/tea or punch with my elegant dinner… heck no.

I know a lot of beer drinkers aren’t wine drinkers, but I just think there’s a lot of options you have before you and you should open yourself up to making sure your guests have a good time. Not a sloshed time, but still let them have fun.

Post # 19
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Hopefully they are “for” hiding/disguising the keg or having it served in nice glassware for your guests! Get the most out of the situation if they are going to be this difficult hun! But hold your ground! This is your wedding! If you all have agreed to ONE KEG, then ONE KEG they will get, but you get to decide the rules and how its served, etc! 

I am one of those worried Brides as well hoping that a few of her guests wont make an utter fool of themselves and further extending that memory to our non-blood relation! LOL 


Post # 20
1747 posts
Bumble bee

@mrstj2b:I may have a drink 2-3 times a year my SO does not drink at all, his family does not drink at all and my immediate family is similar to me. However, I have a few friends that enjoy adult beverages. I will serve champange, a red/white wine, and a signature drink. That’s it. I will have an early afternoon wedding on the beach, if anyone wants to get wild after that, they have the evening to do whatever they will like.

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