(Closed) My parents, especially my mom, could care less about my wedding.

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 17
41 posts
  • Wedding: September 2014

I feel your pain. My mom doesn’t even want me to have a wedding. She wants me to elpoe. I know right… my own mother wants me to runaway and get married. My mother is the type of person where if it’s not happening to her, she doesn’t care. She divorced my biological father and re-married her husband now, meaning she got TWO weddings. And she doesn’t want me to have one. Her parents did not attend either of her weddings and I feel as though she thinks I should be lucky that she is even going to attend. She also paid for both of her weddings on her own, so I always expected the same.

I try to include her in things and update her on what is going on, but she doesn’t care. I am in the early stages of planning, but I am excited and the least she can do is be excited with me.

All you can do is talk to her and tell her how you are feeling. After the talk, all there is to do is hope she cleans up her act. If she doesn’t, then you and your fiance need to make the best of it and not let anyone ruin your big day! In the end it will be you two against the world.

Post # 18
567 posts
Busy bee

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@Hamans1:  wow noone’s being an asshole or snobby, but just giving opinions.

Post # 19
624 posts
Busy bee

I think you actually mean that you feel they ‘couldn’t care less’?  I get the impression from your post that they probably don’t know your Fiance well if they have only met him a few times.  Perhaps they feel a bit excluded or uninvolved?

Sometimes you do need to talk to people to clear up any misunderstanding although I do agree that you shouldn’t have to tell your own mother to be excited!!

Post # 20
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@Hamans1:  Wow. Classy thing to say about people giving you honest opinions on a board in which you asked about what to do.

How about asking your mom and dad, who are normally excited for you, exactly WHY they don’t feel excited about your engagement. Going straight to the source might prove to be more valuable than asking us. There is obviously something missing from this story, but in the event that there isn’t I feel they just don’t know your Fiance well enough.

And just a side note, you may not feel 6 weeks is enough time to order a tux but it is. He can rent as well which wouldn’t be that long of a wait either.

Post # 21
50 posts
Worker bee

You’re getting married on a great date!!! LaughingI don’t have much advice either.  I feel like my family is being the same way, everytime I get excited about something, they always have something negative to say or want to know why i’m doing that.  we’re paying for the wedding with out own money as well, so they really don’t have much of a say.

it is really hard when you want support and aren’t getting it from the people that should give you unconditional support. just try to enjoy the moments with your fiance and just do what you want to do and make sure that every decision you make is what you both want!!! 

Post # 22
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If they are usually supportive and excited about things in your life then there are really only 3 options: 1) They don’t like weddings (my Fiance mom got very angry about weddings and unity symbolism when her and my Fiance dad were about to seperate), 2) They don’t support you getting married to your Fiance, or 3) They don’t realize that they are not showing enough enthusiasm. I would just ask them point blank.

I will also side with most people who say 6 weeks is plenty of time to rent a tux. Most teenagers have less than 6 weeks to rent a tux for things like prom, and that’s during a busy time where every teen in the city also needs to rent a tux for prom. Your wedding isn’t falling during prom or homecoming season, so I think he’ll be okay.

Post # 23
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Well my parents are deceased but none of my blood relatives are attending, which is fine by me. After my Mother died, they simply stopped communicating with me, despite repeated attempts on m part. I finally said screw them and I have my own family of some of the best friends anyone could hope for. Plan the wedding for YOU and your beloved and let go of expectations of how your family should feel as it is obvious they are going to let you down. Thank God we can choose our friends!

Post # 24
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think it’s possible they don’t realize… My family is similar, though less mean. I took my mom dress shopping, and I think she liked that I invited her but she didn’t have any opinions on any of the dresses. She just didn’t seem excited. I would kinda supply the answers for her like, ” Isn’t this one PRETTY???” Or, “This one doesn’t look quite right, DOES IT???”

But yeah, I also felt like I shouldn’t have to tell her that this is exciting for me and Fiance. Also, my family has made zero effort to get to know my Fiance. We’ve been together for almost 9 years, and his family has me over all the time. They invite me for Christmas and celebrate my birthday. There is definitely no objection to my Fiance or our relationship, so I don’t really get it either.

Unfortunately my only advice is to tell them when to get excited. For me, it only sort of works, but at least then I know the lack of reaction isn’t malicious.

Post # 25
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@emmrr3:  +1

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@Hamans1:  I don’t know why you think people are being snobby assholes.  You asked for opinions and advice and it seems that’s what you’re getting.  It may just not be what you want to hear.


I have similar parents, but they’re not really mean per se, just uninterested in most things in my life.  If this is normal behaviour for them, I think you should just accept that they wont be excited and then concentrate on your own excitement and the support you’ve been getting from your bridesmaids, etc.  You can’t make them be excited or care, so don’t dwell on something you can’t control because it will just make you upset.  Concentrate on the things you can control and the things that you can do to make you enjoy your day.

Post # 26
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@Hamans1:  Seriously, your comment is over the top.  




I was asking WHY they might act the way they are.  People don’t change in a vaccumn. 

MY parents didn’t want to come to my graduation, they found it boring as I have 3 brothers…one graduated with his BA before me, another who’d gotten his Associates.  They just didn’t get it.

I have to tell them when to care….they tend to like things that make THEM look good….if I get a good job, when i got them nice gifts, when they visit me and I can take them to an interesting place.  They don’t seem to ahve a concept of “duh, this life event is BIG”  they don’t know about my being engaged, but I don’t expect them to be excited.  You can’t get blood from a stone.

Yes, it might hurt, but you didn’t post saying you need to rant, you asked for advice.

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