Post # 1
ok bees I need your help and advice. How do I talk to my parents and ask them to take down the pictures of my ex. I know they still talk to him and are still friends with him, heck I am still friends with him. While my Fiance has never been to my parents house, he lives in another country, I feel uncomfortable with them up. I know they aren’t trying to rub my nose in it, but I just wish they weren’t there. Of course these are the only pictures they have of me for the last 14 years, so I get that makes it difficult too.
My parents do like my Fiance and they are fine with the marriage and all that, but I just want some advice on how to confront them about this without sounding all angry.
Post # 3
I think you should just be honest with them and let them know that it makes you uncomfortable and you are afraid it will make your Fiance uncomfortable as well. I would think they would be very understanding of that.
Post # 4
Tell them how it makes you feel…and maybe give them a framed copy of your most recent “solo” picture. = )
Post # 5
Yeah, I agree with HisBarista – give them a copy of a nice pic of you, and maybe a nice small picture album. Discuss this with them, and maybe they’ll agree to move the photos into the new album instead – that way they still have them, they just aren’t as obvious. Good luck!
Post # 6
My dad had a hard time “letting go” of my ex. Or the idea of him. Or something. See, I’m very good at getting my family to like people, so of course they adored my (total jerk) ex-boyfriend. When I decided to break up with them, they had a hard time letting go of the future they pictured (MY future!). I told them that was just NOT every going to happen and I wanted them to “erase” him so to speak. No more pictures, no more talking about him, NADA. They got the (not so subtle) hint.
And now they adore my Darling Husband and would never mention (jerk) ex-bf anyway. So I would just talk to them about it. (Although you are kind of sending mixed messages considering even YOU are still friends with him…)
Post # 7
I agree with previous posters, but will add…if your parents are resistant to it because those are the only pictures of you from the last how many years, you can request that they atleast take them down when you visit. Plus they should have some new pictures to put up soon with the wedding right?!
Post # 8
mightySapphire– I hear ya, and I don’t mind that they still talk. I have told them as far as talking about him there is a line they don’t get to cross, it is just the pictures I am trying to get past.
Bamboo– Yeah 9 months from now, but until then what do I do. I know give them a nice pic of the two of us now, but *sigh* not sure I have any on the wall photos that would make them happy.
Post # 9
My parents had pics of all my hs boyfriends up while I was in college, and one visit home I was just really blunt with my mom – “It’s weird that those are there. I know you like them because they’re from dances and stuff, but … I’m seeing someone else now. It’s just strange.”
She took them down ASAP.
Post # 10
My husband’s mom had pictures of him and his ex-girlfriend up at their house the first time I met them. I don’t think he even knew they were there.
I think what did the trick was when I saw them, I did a double take, and his mom kind of froze. The next time I went to visit them with him they’d replaced the pictures with others, mostly new ones of me and him that she’d taken on our first visit or that we’d sent her (they live a few hours away).
Luckily we never had to say anything about it. If I were in your shoes, I’d just mention that it would make you and your fiance feel uncomfortable and that maybe you could all work on getting new pictures to replace them.
Post # 11
I think that you need to get them some new photos of you, both alone and with your new fiance, and stat. If they’re hanging onto pictures that are history, it sounds like they are sentimental. Don’t ask them to take something sentimental away without offering anything to replace it. Then you’ll have a much better case for asking them to change the pictures rather than asking them to just take them down.
Post # 12
Thanks for the advice everyone. I finally talked to my mom about it this weekend, and she understood and said she would take them down. It was mostly my father who made her leave them up, when she knew I was coming home she said to my dad, we should really take them all down, and he said, no I paid for them I am leaving them up.
But realizing how hurt I was she said she would take them down, but that it was sad because then she didn’t have any pictures of me up. So we agreed to get her some pics of me and me and the Fiance to replace the ones on the wall.
Good timing too, since I am flying to see the Fiance this week, so I guess we will get some E-pics afterall, hehe
Post # 13
give them a nice framed photo of you and your fiance and then ask! this is like a band aid, just rip it off!
Post # 14
Are they just random pictures of you and your ex together or are they really old prom type pictures?
The only pics my parents have up of any of my exes are prom pics and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.
If that isn’t the case, then I would ask them to take them down in respect of your FH and then I would send them new pics of you and your FH.
Post # 15
I would just ask them to take the pictures down- they have no reason not to respect that wish.