(Closed) My parents want to help pay for the engagement ring – should I accept it?

posted 2 months ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

I don’t think it’s wrong to accept. Make sure you get that thing insured!

Post # 3
Member
474 posts
Helper bee

I mean, as long as they don’t hold it over your head. Or some how use it against you, why not? 

If your engagment isn’t a total surprise, I’d see what your girlfriend thinks. Some women get upset when they find out their fiance didn’t soley pay for their engagement ring.  

GL and congrats!

Post # 4
Member
9398 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I wouldn’t have been okay with dh doing that. To me, there’s just something really special about knowing he got me my ring all on his own. But I’m sure you’ll find opinions all over the place!

Post # 5
Member
12835 posts
Honey Beekeeper

That’s entirely up to you. There is no right or wrong decision in terms of accepting a gift. You are in the best position to understand the nature of the relationship, if it might come with strings, how your girlfriend might feel etc.

 I know men who wanted to do it on their own and others who had help, either financial or in the form of an heirloom. Either way, your parents are generous to offer. 

Personally, I feel anyone who does a bit of homework can do far better price-wise on stones that are comparable in specs to Tiffany’s. 

Post # 6
Member
3960 posts
Honey bee

Why do you want to buy it from Tiffany? Their rings are ridiculously overpriced for the quality of the stone(s). You could afford a much nicer ring on your own if you go elsewhere.

Post # 7
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I don’t see why not! Especially given that it’s money they saved for your college fund. 

Post # 8
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

The more important questions are

Does your gf like that particular ring? Does she want a Tiffany ring? Does she want a 2 carat? Is that ring set low enough to be comfortable for everyday wear?

You may think she doesn’t care, but I guarantee you she does.

I’m not a fan of halos or emerald cuts, and I prefer to support independent businesses. What does your gf like? Would she rather have that money go towards the wedding? Or as a cash wedding gift? 

A 2 carat Tiffany ring costs the same as a car. I’d rather take the car. 

Don’t ask us. Ask your gf. If you’re going to get married, you have to be able to talk about money and life choices.

And congrats!

Post # 11
Member
434 posts
Helper bee

I would maybe talk about whether she’s ok with you getting help from your parents. She might feel weird about it and feel like you guys are in some kind of debt to your folks. Also, are your parents the type to hold this over your head potentially? 

Post # 13
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

I wouldnt want my boyfriend to accept his parents money. The point is for him to have earned it himself 

Post # 14
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
adam5 :  If this were an heirloom, no one would bat an eye. Likewise if they were helping with the cost of the wedding. That being said, checking their website, the cost of that ring, going from .7 to 2 carats increases conservatively from about 10K to 60K. 

Post # 15
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

View original reply
adam5 :  If you are sure that your parents won’t hold it over your head, I would go for it! Another poster made a good point, is she ok with this amount of money being spent on a ring? If so, go ahead and accept and get her that dream ring. Many people put value on completely different things. My husband spent $33k on my ring, I drive a car worth probably $7k at this point, I am happy with that, cars are not important but my engagement ring is something I treasure and will treasure until I die (sorry if that’s morbid!) I know other people would rather have a new car so to each their own. Keep us posted on the purchase and proposal!!!

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