My Father Plans on Crashing my Wedding

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 31
Member
2663 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

It’s fantastic that your friend had stepped up! I’d be biting his hand off to take him up on his offer.

Your text is excellent and assertive but there’s still no guarantee that he wouldn’t make a scene whether he agrees to it or not. Especially if there’s alcohol involved.

Post # 33
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

Yeah its his house so you can’t univite him. You have to move it somewhere else, or just deal with him being there.  

Post # 36
Member
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

It might be your childhood home but it’s his property and at the end of the day that’s what matters. 

He also mentioned via text (in response to mine) that he is the parent and I’m not allowed to give him choices… so that shows you how he thinks. 

He’s right though.  You can’t dictate when your parent is allowed in their own home.

blissfullyshelby :  

Post # 38
Member
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

blissfullyshelby :  

Then close the thread if you’re just going to be rude to anyone who answers. 

Post # 41
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee

blissfullyshelby :  Your father makes me extremely angry.  But honestly, I’m also almost “excited” (not really, but you know what I mean) for him to get this rude awakening: that he doesn’t get to call the shots anymore, that other people are capable of making decisions without him, that him being a genetic donor doesn’t make him a “parent” in any way.  I’m sorry your wedding had to be the battleground, but at least it will let him know definitively that you won’t be taking his (or your brother’s) shit. Good for you!

Congratulations and happy wedding day!

Post # 42
Member
9569 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

blissfullyshelby :  I’m glad your friend has offered his place–sounds like, from your dad’s reply to your texts, that you’ll need to take him up on it.  I’m not shocked: I’d be very suspicious if your had taken your text well, anyway.

Now you have about two weeks to make it perfect.  Not ideal, but you could do way worse!  Is there anything you can move from your parents place to his, or was all of the prep work gardening/cleaning?

Post # 43
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

abouttodoit17 :  omg, we’re all just trying to be supportive of OP. That’s terrible what her father is doing to her! You’re the one being rude.

blissfullyshelby :  I like your FI’s suggestion of doing something next year at the house! Save your dress ;o)

Post # 44
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

blissfullyshelby :  Move your wedding to a park.  You can’t have it both ways.  I understand you want your childhood dream, but what is more important to you:  Having a smooth wedding day or stress with your family?  Realistically, he can evict YOU on that day if he wants to be a turd.  Sorry, bee, but that is the reality!  Keep us posted!

Edited to add:  Your friend sounds awesome!!!  Take him up on the offer!!!  

Post # 45
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

blissfullyshelby :   

I would not be meeting with him in person. There is absolutely nothing that either of you could say in person that can’t be said in an email or through text. Meeting in person gives your father the power to manipulate, gaslight, and/or guilt you into doing what he wants. 

I would call the meeting off. Furthermore, if everything is in writing then it can be saved and documented if your father chooses to crash the wedding at the new location (to prove trespassing etc.)

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