(Closed) My Plus One Dilemma

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would try to take all of those questions in stride, I got numerous questions like that and then finally decided there would be no plus ones across the board. Then I thought about it and made a few exceptions, the only people who are allowed plus ones are those who 1. have been in their relationship for awhile, 2. they live together, 3. out of town guest, we have a few that are flying across the country and we didn’t think it would be right to ask them to come alone. I think a friend asking to bring her little sister is ridiculous….

Post # 4
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You are absolutely NOT overreacting. This is your wedding and weddings cost a lot of money so in attendance should be those people who you truly care for and want there, not the people who your friends want there. We had to take it on a person by person bases, simply put, some got a plus 1 and some didn’t. I pretty much used the same criteria as boogieshew (above). The sister thing though is just a bit ballsey to ask IMO.

Post # 5
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

That’s really forward of them! Hopefully you wont have a bunch of uninvited people show up. Make your invitations really clear! 

Post # 7
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just tell them the guest list has yet to be determined.  You don’t need to send save the dates  until 6 months out, so that should quiet them down.  If, however, a single or two begins a serious relationship and they are invited, they should be able to bring their SO.

Post # 8
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@catrina13:  I hear you – my sister was being a brat and despite the fact that months prior I had said we were only giving +1s to spouses or significant others or live-ins, my sister planned on bringing her best friend.  

I ended up caving because it seemed like she wasn’t going to give in, and I wanted to avoid drama and move on to other things.

But everyone else has been understanding when I explained we came up with a consistent standard for everyone that allows us to keep our wedding small and intimate.

Post # 9
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I kind of felt like you should bring a date if you are in a relationship, but not some random.  At least if you are trying to budget this is what I would do.  I wanted to do it untill my dad (who is a good logical advice giver) said he thinks any adult should be able to bring a guest to a wedding regardless… I was kind of shocked but I understand.

Post # 10
Member
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m only going to be inviting +1s if people are in relationships. No one who is not in a relationship is going to get a +1. 

Post # 11
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@catrina13:  I’ve had people doing this since day one, also! I don’t think you’re overracting… you’re right. I don’t even like dragging uninvited people (or being the uninvited person) to a backyard barbeque, much less a formal event like a wedding. So far I’ve just been vague, but I know I can’t do that forever :-X

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