Post # 1
Many may remember I posted a thread a little bit ago asking for advice on picking dresses for my bridesmaids. One of them is a large apple shape and I wanted her to feel just as beautiful as the others. I spent weeks agonizing over this. Many appointments trying to find one.
I picked the dress. It wasn’t my favorite but the best one that would work with her body type. A few days ago, my MOH ordered hers. I am going on Tuesday to get my other bridesmaids. Today, the plus sized girl tells me she can’t do it after I asked her to go to the shop to get sized.
Apparently, she has a lot of stress going on after just having a kid a few months ago and body image issues. I totally understand all this. I mean, I cared more about her feeling beautiful than what I wanted. If she isn’t going to feel comfortable at all in a dress, I can’t do anything about that.
She is also doing hair and makeup, which she will still do. One of the groomsman is her husband, so we will have to drop him to. I will be down to two on each side.
I’m upset but I love her and can’t be mad she dropped. I’m upset because I settled for my bridesmaid dresses with her in mind. Not only that, I chose going through Alfred Angelo because of alterations. Had I known this beforehand, I would have ordered a dress online and saved my FI sister and my MOH the money. I mean, the fucking dress cost 200 bucks.
I’m just kind of sad about everything. The dress is pretty…but not what I wanted. I would have gone with something way more formal and form fitting.
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
Ugh that’s so annoying!!! She needs to make some changes and start feeling better about herself.
BTW I LOVE the dress. I think it’s gorgeous.
Post # 4
Have you talked to the store and see if it’s possible to cancel your MOH’s order? Also, do you think your friend might change her mind over the upcoming months? She can still wait til, say, December to order the dress and have a comfortable amount of time for alterations. I can tell how much your friend means to you and how important it would be to have her standing up with you.
Regardless, I do really like that dress. It’s quite lovely.
Post # 5
I’m sure it’s no consolation at this point, but I actually love those dresses and your post encouraged me to put them on the list of possibles for my BMs. They’re gorgeous!
Post # 6
I think that dress is SO pretty!
Sorry you bent over backwards for her and she still dropped out, though!
Post # 7
Are they all ordering from the same store? If they are, they might not have placed the order for your MOH’s dress yet. You might not be able to get your money back and do online, but you might be able to pick a different dress from the same store. Our store didn’t put in the order until they had all of the bridesmaids so that they would be put in together.
Post # 8
That sucks that the dress isn’t what you wanted, and that your friend felt she couldn’t be in the bridal party due to body issues.
With that said, as someone with a larger stomach, I’d definitely feel uncomfortable in that dress. The rouching on the stomach tends to make the stomach look even larger, and those straps make your chest/shoulders look horrible too (when you’re bigger). You also can’t wear a decent bra with it, which is pretty vital for a larger person with any sort of chest.
I wore a similar dress as a BM for my sister’s wedding, and if she hadn’t been my sister I’d probably have dropped out too. Everytime I see a picture of myself in it I want to cry, and I’m definitely not self concious about my weight. Looking back on it, I sort of wish I’d told her I couldn’t do it too… I can’t walk through her or my parents house anymore without hating how horrible I look. (This coming from someone who literally has photos up of being out in the field for 3 days without showering).
Post # 9
@HisMoon: She won’t change her mind, I know for sure. The dress takes 3 months to order and 2 1/2 for alterations…so waiting isn’t possible.
Cancelling the order would mean going through this all over again. In the end..is it really worth it?
@jdhall89: I’m glad it could be of some help.
@BrandNewBride: Shit happens I guess. Meh.
Post # 10
Did the GM say he was dropping out too?
Post # 11
@M72727: I spent a good bit picking a dress that would flatter her body type and this one does. Regarding the bra, the straps are adjustable and can be worn to cover bra straps, as a razor back, as a halter, or as a strapless. The plan was always to include a bolera to cover up any arm fat issues. The rouching did not make her stomach appear large, and I had included a belt to shorten the length and break up the top and bottom.
While I appreciate the comment, the issue is not because of the dress I chose. It is with any dress at all and the fact she would be a center of attention and photographed.
Post # 12
@ieatunicorns: We have to drop him otherwise it will be uneven.
Post # 13
@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon: Oh, the way the first post reads is that you looked at dresses and chose one that you thought would be flattering on her, not that she tried some on and you decided together which would be most flattering. Huge difference in my opinion if SHE chose the dress than if YOU did without her input.
Post # 14
@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon: If you’re comfortable with the dress they have now and can honestly say that you’re not going to let it linger in your head, then no it’s not worth it. However, if this is one of those details that’s going to stick with you and that’s going to color your view everytime you look at your wedding photos, then it might be worth it to at least consider it unless you’re completely swamped with everything else.
The most important part of the day is obviously getting married to your love and beginning a new chapter of your lives. Aside from the marriage itself, the pictures and video are going to be the most lasting artifact of your wedding day. If you think you’ll always side-eye the bridesmaids photos because of those dresses, I really recommend thinking about getting the dress you want for them.
Post # 15
@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon: Uneven? If he’s a close friend and there are no issues with him, I don’t get why you’d drop a close friend to keep thing even. Is this purely for pictures?
I’m not having a big bridal party so maybe I don’t get it but I wouldn’t cut anyone for symmetry.
Post # 16
@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon: I am so so sorry this is happening to you especially after you were so thoughtful and tried to choose a dress that was less form fitting for her.
I have never been to alfred angelo before but I have heard they’re like Davids’? (which actually surprised me the dress was 200 I expected them to be a little less from there) Do they have a policy like Davids’ though – Davids’ allows you to get store credit for the dress so you could essentially pick a different one. BUT I do have to agree with everyone else I think the dress is great! It’s actually just what I am thinking of without the straps 🙂