(Closed) My Plus Sized bridesmaid dropped out!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
2296 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  why do you have to drop the groomsman? i think that’s really sad – your Fiance should still be able to have his friend stand up with him. 

i’m sorry about the dress – that is annoying, but i think it looks beautiful!

Post # 18
Member
2296 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  oh i see you’re worried about uneven – i would never cut a good friend for the sake of symmetry. do a pinterest search for uneven wedding parties – there are tons, and the photos don’t look any worse for wear! 

my mum once told a bride friend of ours who was having a similar issue that ‘people aren’t salt shakers – sometimes there’s just one and that’s okay’ made me laugh 🙂

Post # 19
Member
47421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You certainly don’t have to ask the groomsman to drop out ( that could be hurtful). It could be interpreted that you are penalizing him for his wife’s decision. Photoraphers are used to dealing with uneven wedding parties.

I empathize with the fact that you spent a good deal of time and energy finding a dress that would work for her. You were a good friend to her and you are still being a good friend by understanding why she wasn’t comfortable in the Bridesmaid or Best Man role.

 

Post # 21
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon Knowing what you know now, would you have done anything different in this situation in hindsight? 

I’m asking because I actually think I will be in a very similar situation soon, and it’s an interesting question… Just how accommodating/ thoughtful should one be about these types of situations?

i’m guessing I may try giving my BM’s little stylistic leeway, so they may have a better chance of finding something they think is personally flattering… But if one has a very negative self body image, it is very hard to defeat that no matter what you do.

I too think the style you picked is quite lovely. I’m sorry you’re in this predicament… But it seems like you’ve been handling some sticky situations with finesse so far, so I think you will come out on top on this one, one way or the other.

 

Post # 23
Member
9679 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s sweet you tried to accomodate her, but as someone who feels incredibly fat at the moment, I assure you that I wouldn’t feel pretty in anything either. There is no way in hell I would be in anyone’s wedding right now so I don’t think there is much you could have done. However, she certainly could have told you about this sooner :-

Post # 24
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

The only advice I have for you is to not drop the groomsman.  I can’t think of anything for hurtful or offensive than dropping him from the wedding party for the sake of having even sides. 

And trust me, it will not soothe the burn when you explain that he was added as an extra in the first place so dropping him means that you’re just putting things back the way you want them. 

Post # 25
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee

Please don’t make symmetry more imporant than people.  In 20  years when you look at your weding pictures you will be far more interested in who is in the pictures rather than how many are in them.

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