(Closed) My poor FI, I think I may have overreacted..

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Mrs.DsBeeloved:  ((HUGS)).  No, I don’t think you overreacted.  I don’t think he is in the wrong, either.

I think the two of you are very, very stressed and it’s taking its toll.  Be selfish with your time together and plan some romantic and special time.  I’ve heard this saying – that if all a couple ever discusses is problems in their relationship, the relationship will become a problem relationship.

You’ve both been hit with a ton of stress.  You seem to have a good handle on what’s going on.  You both love each other dearly and aren’t letting it come between you.  It happens!  It’s called life. 

You have a lot of insight into each other and it’s clear you’re both loving and affectionate people by nature.  Give yourselves a break and just be good to each other.

I recommend just taking some time to get away, even if only to a nice hotel for a night.  Turn off your phones and just focus on each other.  Sometimes you need to reconnect.

You’re worth it!

Post # 5
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Mrs.DsBeeloved:  You know, I’ve discovered that men are funny in a certain way.  They act all tough and nonchalant on the outside.  But on the inside they are very, very sensitive.  I think they’re even more sensitive and vulnerable than we are, truthfully.

I’ve noticed when I point out something wonderful that my Fiance has done, he will break out into the most beautiful smile and even turns a little red.  It’s adorable that my praise means so much to him!  He’s even told me, “Thank you so much for saying that.  Sometimes I feel as though I can’t do enough and I appreciate your noticing what I do.”

Just little things like praising your guy, whom you obviously adore, will go a long way.  Don’t beat yourself up for what has already happened.  Just do something really sweet and nice for him to let him know how sorry you are. 

We always think we’re more emotional because we’re women and men hide their emotions so well.  But they are even more powerfully emotional than we are (I have a son, I know this for a fact) and they need help expressing it.  Help him to feel safe, emotionally, let him know that you love him just as he is, and his usual affectionate nature will come back naturally.

I wish you all the best!

Post # 6
Member
661 posts
Busy bee

@Mrs.DsBeeloved:  You answered your own question, you dont need us to verify anything. You are working through your issues and are still in love ๐Ÿ™‚ All gravy – So sad about the murder of your friends parents and loosing your friend over the stress of it all!

Post # 7
Member
661 posts
Busy bee

@Sunfire:  This is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!! Men do need and love praise! They never feel good enough, us women are hard to please, lets admit it. My man does the same, gets all coy and smily when I give him a big pat on the back!

Post # 8
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@rdownie1:    They’re so cute when they react that way.  I love to praise my sweetie just to see his eyes light up and his beautiful smile.  He’s such a “tough guy” but has the most loving heart I’ve ever known.  Sometimes when I’m just bitchin’ about something, I catch myself so I don’t go too far and inadvertently say the wrong thing.  I try to immediately change the mood back to something silly or affectionate and it seems to get things right back on track. 

Post # 10
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Mrs.DsBeeloved:  Smile  I wish you all the best!! 

Post # 11
Member
661 posts
Busy bee

@Sunfire:  Aw you two sound adorable and so sweet, blessings to you both ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@rdownie1:  Thanks!  That’s gonna make me cry . . .  *sniff*  So sweet of you to say that.

Smile

Post # 13
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

I searched: taking stress out on SO and I can to your post. It felt so good to read this well articulation of the issue because it was spot on to how I had felt. Taking stress out on your Fiance leads to them withdrawing which then leads to us freaking out that they are pulling away which makes us more stressed and it is just a vicious cycle. Then I read how you said you two decided to date each other again to bring back the emotional connection. I thought that was so sweet and such an amazing idea. I can tell you two have an amazingly strong relationship. I am so sorry you had to go over a ‘breakup’ with your friend. I am going through the same thing and that is why I am taking out my hurt/frustration on him. I am going to suggest dating again. Thank you for that post!

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