Post # 1
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
My childhood BFF was diagnosed with breast cancer last month at the age of 35. She was BFF to all of my sisters (there was only one girl in the neighborhood), so she’s like the 4th sister to us even though we are all in different states.
She also found out she has the BRCA2 gene, so after second opinions, doing the genetics test over (she has great insurance), she is going to get a double mastectomy and ovaries removed. The risk was like 90% for the cancer coming back due to the gene. This is set for early December.
Meanwhile, the condo that she had been living in with her boyfriend of 10 years just sold (the dad bought it for them). Boyfriend had been working on an old house to use as a rental unit and the new residence (again the dad bought this house too). But since it’s not ready yet (more like Jan/Feb), they have moved an hour away to live with his parents. She moved the week before Halloween.
Then after a week of living there, he tells her he doesn’t think they are going to work out long term. They are too different, he wants to break up. It hasn’t been quick like a bandaid. It’s kind of going slowly.
My poor friend is homeless, dealing with cancer, dealing with getting a mastectomy (she will wake up with implants), where does she want to live, ending a 10 year relationship.
To top it off, her car started on fire this summer and after going carless for several months she broke down and leased a new car. Now her payments are so huge she cannot afford to live alone because she was planning on splitting the rent (or having it covered) at this newly remodeled home.
Good thoughts for her please, I cannot believe she is going through this. She’s a very independent, strong, happy vibrant woman who is going through the ringer now. I’ve offered to fly out to help care for her, but her mom will be staying as long as needed. In the ex’s parents house.
Post # 3
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
Hugs to you Hun. First off her bf is a big douch bag. Second have you considered letting her stay at your place until she gets back on her feet or her parents let her stay with them. Cancer is hard on everybody. My step grandma had cancer 35 years ago but her cancer is gone now. Has she consider getting a second opinion.
Post # 4
Member
2283 posts
Buzzing bee
How unfortunate. She’s going through a lot, but hopefully she will have a new lease on life after all this. I’ll be praying for her and sending good thoughts her way.
Post # 5
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee
@sienna76: That poor dear girl! She has to deal with so much loss :(…her health, money, her boyfriend, her body, her car, her house.
Just let her know you are willing to do anything to help make this easier on her. (Which is sounds like you have, since you’ve offered to fly out.)
Even if she refused your help and has the help of her mother I’d fly out anyway if you can swing it. Just to say “I’m your friend and I’m here for you whether you want me to be or not!” lol it might help just to have someone physically there.
Does she have children? Removing her ovaries takes away her chance at being a biological mother as well 🙁
Best wishes to her! And hugs from internet strangers lol
Post # 6
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
My own dad died of cancer and he died while I was holding him in his own bed. This was last year. So I am supporting her efforts in wanting to reduce her risk for cancer coming back as much as possible. Cancer is an ugly ugly thing.
Unforunately I live 2300 miles from her and two time zones away. I offered my home to her when she is all recovered, had all her follow up visits and it ready to make a new life. But she has excellent health insurance and agreat job, so I’m not so sure where she’d like to be. I do know she loves the West.
I did say I would fly out. My sister would be the best option, as she’s a nurse and could deal with all the drainage tubes. I would then fly to my sister’s state and help my mom care for her boys. I don’t want to show up unannounced as I will be a guest in the ex’s parents’ house LOL.
She doesn’t have children and she never did want children, but when the option is taken away, it kind of makes you go, “Hey wait a minute! I need more time to think!”
