Post # 1
I am 4 weeks and 5 days today, and I have not done the deed with my wonderful hubby in probably two and a half weeks. If I’m not tired, I’m crampy. If I am not crampy or tired, I’m nauseous. And we won’t even go into how my boobs feel right now.
And if I am none of those things, I am just scared of having sex. WTF? It’s not like he can do any harm, but I have this fear that if I do it, I will lose the baby (or babies, since the doc was shcoked at how huge I am measuring, dear cheesus) or be in pain or most of all not enjoy myself because I am so nervous about what is going on with my body.
I talked to him last night, and the poor guy is so freaking understanding, which makes me feel even worse. He just says, “Hun, I love you, and I understand. You are going through a lot, and I want you to take care of yourself first.”
Oh, shove a knife through my heart why don’t ya?!
Is this normal feelings for a first time mom? How do I suck it up and get over these feelings? Will it get better on it’s own where I feel like it?
Thanks my lovely Bees.
Post # 3
@megz06: Confession time for me. Maybe it will make you feel better? haha My Darling Husband was TERRIFIED of DTD the moment I found out I was pregnant. I am not going to lie, so was I, maybe given my previous M/C in Feb. We found out at the end of May, just before I hit 4 weeks. I am 14w2d today, and last night was the first time we DTD since…….:| He initiated which actually surprised me. I was still scared, though. Not to say it was awkward, it was just ‘different’. Maybe next time I will be more relaxed now that we got over the first time? haha
It will get better, I promise. During my first trimester, I couldn’t have DTD even if I wanted to because I was so sick and tired. And I just felt gross. It’s good to have such a supportive Darling Husband. 🙂 There’s other ways you can be intimate too, other than actually having intercourse.
Happy and healthy 9 months to you! 😀
Post # 4
I am 13 weeks pregnant and I think we’ve done the deed three times. Don’t feel bad, it’s an interesting time going on for us ladies. I just make sure my husband understands what I’m going through.
Post # 5
beyblade1120: It is different, right? It’s definitely not the same!
Post # 6
@future_mrs_sommer: It is for sure, it’s hard to put into words. I am scared of him going too deep or something. I know it’s probably irrational thinking but I can’t help it. I also find that I have less natural lubrication than I did before I got pregnant. That is definitely not fun. :/
Post # 7
Don’t feel bad. Darling Husband and I DTD right before AF was due and did not do it again until last week. I was REALLY nervous of hurting the baby and I was feeling the same way. Too Much Information, but my jaw has had a bit of a work out to make up for it. lol.
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
So, hubs and I have both been a little scared (early on) and creeped out (now) by this. I really want to warn you though, you may bleed. It’s totally fine, but it was SO scary. I was about 9 weeks (I had early spotting and my OB said for us to abstain until she had a heartbeat), and we went for it. Well, all was going well until he looked down and we were both covered in blood. My OB warned me that some bleeding may happen, but I had no idea she meant this! I wasn’t crampy, so I wasn’t really worried, but we abstained for a while after that. Into the second trimester, I don’t bleed anymore. But now my stomach is so sizeable, not to mention you can see her kick, that we’re both pretty creeped out by it. We know she’s safe, but uh… she can hear us now. haha
We still do…things, but actual intercourse is pretty limited these days due to the creep factor.
Post # 9
@megz06: I’m 8w4d and we’ve DTD less then 10 times. It’s hard to count because for the first 3 weeks of my pregnancy we were on vacation & I think we got it on quite a few times. Things def feel less naturally lubed & I was sore the first couple of times. I told Darling Husband he had to be gentle & take it slow with me (which he does). If he’s slow or we use a tiny bit of lube we are good to go. I wasn’t nervous about DTD I was more mortified with how much it hurt the first couple of times. 2 nights ago Darling Husband was spooning me, rubbing my boobs (TMI?) and kissing my neck, I asked “do you want to DTD?” and he was like “do I have to be on top or will you?” I said “I’m too tired to be on top”, foreplay quickly stopped after that. It was pretty funny!
Post # 10
Thank you so much for sharing. I am so happy I am not alone, and this is pretty normal. Yay for understanding hubbys!
@Mrs. Gremmlin: Ok this scared the hell out of me, but I am very glad you shared so I know what might happen.
@ThePrincessBride10612: This made me LOL (at least the ending did anyway). Thank you for sharing!
Post # 11
i am almost 27 weeks and i can count on one hand how many times we have DTD… i just dont feel like it. My husband understands… i told him I would make it up to him after baby girl comes. right now… my lady parts ar off limits to everyone except the doctor lol.
sidenote: i cant even reach my part to shave them at the moment lol
Post # 12
Hang in there..my entire pregnancy has been basically little to no doing of the deed. I think the hormones have definitely taken away any drive for me at all, and Darling Husband and I have both been so busy and stressed the entire 7.5 months so far that neither one of us is in the mood very often. Plus, your hormones can actually affect his hormones & make his drive less as well! It sucks! Not to mention that when we do do it, penetration just hurts for me bc I’m a little swollen down there, not to mention pretty dry.
So ironic that we had SOOOO much sex to make a baby and then bam! Sexy times can now be counted on one hand for each month 🙁
i have been a little more willing to do oral for Darling Husband now since I’m literally so huge and uncomfortable, sex doesn’t even sound like fun at all. Before the O’s were at least really good throughout most of my pregnancy (albeit pretty rare) but I think since my uterus is just huge, they just feel different now.
You may be one of those lucky ones who turns a corner in 2nd tri and has a basically insatiable drive, you never know! Unfortunately I was not 🙁
Post # 13
Darling Husband and I had sex once in the first trimester. I wasn’t even sick, I just wasn’t into it. I think since finding out, we’ve done it around 8-10 times and I’m 25 weeks. Darling Husband is incredibly understanding and isn’t phased by it… I really have mostly just done it to make him happy and I haven’t had the urge to do it myself. Don’t feel bad, there is a lot going on!!
I’m also with @MrsStrawberry24: I can no longer see my parts to keep them nice and tidy so… I guess and hope for the best lol. How romantic. :/
Post # 14
@ThePrincessBride10612: Why not just stay spooning? 🙂 You can kind of take turns doing the work and neither of you has to be on top. Darling Husband and I use this position a lot when we’re both feeling lazy.
I feel like I’m the only one who had enjoyable sex during pregnancy. It definitely wasn’t frequent but it was nice when we did it and neither of us ever worried about the baby. Unless you have a high risk pregnancy or a history of miscarriage, you shouldn’t have any problems.
Post # 15
@megz06: Oh don’t feel bad hun! I’m glad your Darling Husband is understanding because it may not get better. I was the aggressor before pregnancy, sex everyday please and we have done the deed maybe MAYBE once a week since 4 weeks weeks and I’m 18 weeks now. Everything feels different sometimes it’s fantastic and sometimes just meh.. I’ve also been really sick so Darling Husband rarely gets any other attention and he is surviving. I just make sure when I’m in the mood he knows and the candles are lit and music out is on. Oh also last time after we finished the baby started swirling in my stomach, he thought it was hilarious I though ugh creepy!
Post # 16
We’ve been DTD once or twice a week all the way through so far (currently 29w).
We have to use a bit of lube, but otherwise it’s been fine. There was a while at the start of second trimester where I really wasn’t into it, but I made the effort anyway, and now I’m enjoying it again.
I can’t see to shave and I’m afraid I’ll cut myself doing it blind, so I bought a little personal trimmer to keep things tidy.
All that said, I don’t know how much longer we’ll be going, because positions are getting more and more limited and my big belly doesn’t really exude sex appeal.