(Closed) My poor naive BF

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 32
Member
776 posts
Busy bee

@GFerg:  I agree.

” I can’t imagine breaking the heart of a man I love and REJECTING A PROPOSAL because the ring was smaller”

Post # 33
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

That $5000 statistic comes from the Knot and the Wedding Channel.  Please – you have to understand that their demographic is completely skewed.  The U.S. average is about $2,000 less, but of course it varies by state and city, just like average incomes.

People should spend what they can afford to – period.  

Post # 34
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@ditzkitten:  I sympathize with your boyfriend. My eyes popped out when I read, “he probably spent about 2500-2700 on this ring. He spent well below the average.” I would have been a little mad at my SO if he had spent more than 2000 on my ring. But that’s just me – everyone has their own budget and idea of what is expensive and not expensive. To me, that’s money that can be put towards a house or the wedding! Our goal was to only spend 1000 but he went over that budget and I still feel a little bad about it! At the same time, I know how much he’s willing to spend on guns, computers and video game stuff so if he wasn’t willing to spend the same I’d feel a little irritated, even though I’m not materialistic and don’t have a desire for fancy things. 

The 3 month rule is bogus. I wouldn’t look down on a ring that cost 100 or a ring that cost 10,000 and I think that the people that gave her beef for having a smaller ring are really rude and inconsiderate. That is demeaning of both individuals in that relationship and is hurtful. It definitely picks at a guy’s self esteem, too! If I were her, they would not be invited to the wedding! 🙂

I could never stand to see the pain in my SO’s face that would be caused by something so insulting (like rejecting his proposal because of a diamond). Seeing that would never be worth any material possession.

Post # 35
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - The bride's hometown United Methodist Church near Kalamazoo

Aww, that is a sweet story; those people critiquing your friend’s rings are jerks!; and I totally agree with your point (talking to your SO about finances.) That being said, it is TOTALLY possible to have a great ring you love WAY under that cost. My ring is opal and pink sapphire and my fiance paid less than $50 on it–I didn’t want an expensive ring, jewerly just isn’t a priority for me and I wanted to save the money for other things, since we will be combining finances upon marriage. 

Post # 36
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s a lovely ring but some of her mother’s friends where very mean to her about it, saying that she should have regected the proposal because her ring was to small (roughly 1/3 carat center stone).

@ditzkitten:  How did I miss this part?  I can only conclude that this girl’s mother has poor taste in friends – they sound shallow and stupid.

Post # 37
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

One of my friends from school recently got engaged. She posted pics of her ring on facebook because she was so exited about getting married and bcause she loved her ring. It’s a lovely ring but some of her mother’s friends where very mean to her about it, saying that she should have regected the proposal because her ring was to small (roughly 1/3 carat center stone).

This made me so sad.  I can’t understand why people are like that.  

As for the discussion that’s been going on in this thread … My fiance did not follow the 2-3 month rule.  I honestly don’t even know if he knew about that.  Haha.  He actually spent less than that, though it was still more than the $5000 average quoted in the original post (it was around $7700).  Sometimes it makes me nervous to have that much money on my hand … I can’t even imagine how I’d feel if he spent more than that!  Yikes.

I think the most important thing to remember about rings is that everyone has a different style and budget.  It’s a shame the ladies mentioned above couldn’t remember this and just be happy for the original poster’s friend!

Post # 38
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@hiroshymatetrastar:  oh, thank goodness, i thought i was the only one with a -$1,000 e-ring + wedding ring!

Post # 40
Member
2413 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@jwdesiree:  I could see in the future maybe getting something more formal.. But no matter what I LOVE my ring(s)

Post # 41
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@hiroshymatetrastar:  As do I! I’m still in that ridiculous phase where I gaze at it lovingly whenever it hits the light just right 🙂

Post # 42
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

my ring was $700. 

screw averages. they are there to make you feel like you should spend that much or more… and then when competes to meet or beat the average, that money spent counts and creates a higher average….. then people try to meet and beat that new average…. then their money spent makes the average go up….

it’s a cycle that never ends.

our wedding also cost less than average, but it was everything we wanted in the happiest place on eart.

Post # 43
Member
2413 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@jwdesiree:  Ha! That doesn’t go away

Post # 44
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

I think the 3 months salary rule is nuts. I had only ever heard two months until SO came over one day and said the older guys at the fire station had all told him three months. I was like what?! (That would be a $15,000 ring) I would be very upset if he spent that much when that could go towards our dream house or an amazing honeymoon.

 

the ring he is having made for me will be around one months salary and that is only because he fell in love with the same ring I did, and refused any of the cheaper ideas I sent him that I also loved. 

Post # 45
Member
863 posts
Busy bee

I am sitting reading this and resisting the urge to break the shut it up pact to turn to SO and ask him what his budget for my ring [someday] will be….willpower ladies.

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