(Closed) My Poor SO Needs New Friends – Help!

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Sounds like your SO’s friends need to grow up.  I’m sorry you have to deal with this.  He really doesn’t have any friends that aren’t single?  Maybe he should try connecting with old friends that have GF’s now, or hanging out with your friends that have BFs as a couple.  We have several friends who are single guys, and the vast majority of them do not sit around talking about getting wasted and sleeping around.  The ones that do, we don’t hang out with as much since this is not what we’re into.

Among our single male friends, it does seem like when we talk about the wedding, a lot of them beeline straight for thinking/talking about the open bar and asking me which of my bridesmaids are single and willing to hook up with them.  This is immature, single-guy mindset and unfortunately there’s nothing we can do about it.

Post # 6
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

it may just take a little while before his friends settle down? like, maybe this is just a temporary phase and they’ll grow up soon? most our groomsmen and guy friends were single and commitment-phobes in their mid-twenties, but now that they’re all getting to their later twenties they’re settling down. or more immediately, do any of your friends have so’s that your guy can be-friend? double-dating can be fun 🙂 or are there any sports teams he could join? hubby’s played on random weekly softball, kickball, and soccer leagues–it usually costs like $50 for a season

Post # 7
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I think he needs to give them some slack.  As you said he has been friends with these guys for a long time.  Since they were young and before they were out bar hopping together so there must be more basis to the friendships.  Your Boyfriend or Best Friend himself went through a period where he was doing the same things they are.  And he only moved on from that period because he met you.  I don’t think he would have appreciated it if his friends wrote him off because they happen to move into a serious relationship before he did and he was the one still going out all the time.  I think he just needs to give them some time to get to that stage in their lives.  In the meantime.. he should make an effort to plan other events with them.  Go to a professional ball game, hit the golf course, etc.  Put them into situations where they aren’t just meeting up at a bar.  If he makes that effort I bet it will have a big effect on getting their friendship back on track.

From your post is sounds like you guys spend a lot of time in together.  And that’s really great.  But you should be careful not to lose yourselves in your relationships.  It is important for both of you to have friends and interests outside of the relationship so you can be a stronger partner to each other. 

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