- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
I am a pretty decisive person and very particular about getting things done efficiently. Nevertheless, I didn’t want to rush the process or have too high/low expectations while going dress shopping. I also never anticipated that I would have “the moment” in my dress either.
I had stated that upfront when I went shopping that the dress scoring to my closest 10/10 would be the one I chose and that I probably wouldn’t cry. I armed my ladies with a spreadsheet asking them to mark each dress out of 10.
It was the first bridal salon I stopped at where I ended up purchasing my gown. I went to a higher end salon and the service just didn’t cut it for me. I knew I would come back to this one…
I didn’t bring my mother. I am a pretty strong headed person and I felt that our opinions would clash too much so I wanted to forgo the drama.
On my first visit, the ladies and I narrowed it down to two gowns.
I was torn. We were having a destination wedding. Dress 1 was fun, flirty and fit the theme. But Dress 2 was elegant and traditional, which both Fiance and I lean more toward. That weekend, my mom mentioned in passing “Oh, I guess you found your dress already…” And in that, I knew she wanted to be part of my search. I said I hadn’t and promised to take her on my next trip.
On my second visit to the salon, ladies and mother in tow, I went back to juggle both dresses. However, I was told that the traditional ballgown one was sold.
I wasn’t heartbroken or anything, which was probably an indication that I wasn’t crazy about it. I tried on more dresses.
The original Dress 1 made it into my top 3!!
But before it did, I had to look at myself in a few “frogs” and then this monstrosity LOL
Much to my surprise, my MOTHER pulled a dress DOUBLE my budget but absolutely GORGEOUS!! It was Blue by Enzoani Casablanca. I loved how it hugged my body and the all over lace. It was so romantic. When the SA put on the cathedral veil, I felt SO regal! My mom said it made me look “expensive” and “elegant”. I really did like it and was pleasently surprised at the silhouette on me.
However, it was overbudget and though I liked the idea of looking “high-class”, I knew that it wasn’t “me” enough. So being the decisive bride I was, I nixed it.
.Then I tried on this dress that I didn’t even really notice in the sea of dresses. I wasn’t expecting how great I felt in it… I think in my heart, I knew it was The One, but with everyone complimenting me, the experience felt like a whirlwind.
When I stepped up on the pedastal. It was pretty quiet. My mother spoke out softly in English, “My baby has grown up…”
THAT, as cheesy as it sounds, was the trigger, ladies and gentlemen.
In that moment as I looked into the mirror, I saw my face… and envisioned myself as a 5 year old … and then the image of me in a wedding gown came back into focus…
I threw both my hands up to cover my eyes.
I started to cry. I realized that was it. I never expected to have the moment, but I got it anyway. In the end, I DID want to have my mother there. It was what GAVE me my “moment”.
I placed a deposit and went home. Hopped on the Bee and posted my dress. Then I realized through posts and then scrolling through my saved files of dresses that mine looked very similar to Maggie Sottero’s Isadora… I was upset. The LAST thing I wanted to be was a walking stereotype, and Asian in a replica dress. I have spent my entire being priding myself in not being a stereotype… and it was an issue close to my heart. I freaked out … and cancelled the dress…
I mulled over it for days asking myself how much would having this dress bug me?
Then I told Fiance and asked his advice. If anyone could ground me, it would be him. He looked me in the eye and took me in his arms, said to me “If you fell in love with that dress, get that dress. The name doesn’t matter. I would love you in any dress.”
The salon tried to get their hands on the Isadora but was not able to. After comparing pictures for hours, I decided to go back to the salon and try it on WITHOUT the entire party with me. I needed quiet time to appreciate the gown.
I went back…
I closed my eyes and I put on the dress and the veil. And when I opened my eyes, I KNEW. I mean I SQUEALED!!! LOL After looking more closely at the gown, I realized that the gowns were different in many ways.
The neckline was different (Isadora being more pointy).
The bust was different (Isadora overlaps, my gown criss-crosses).
The beading on the bodice of my dress goes all the way back (Isadora doesn’t).
My gown doesn’t have the scalloped lace bottom (Isadora does) which would make mine look too bottom heavy.
The flower details are MUCH more delicate on my gown. On my petite frame, the details on the Isadora would look so obnoxious on me.
In addition, I decided to make my back a button up rather than a zipper (and NOT a corset like the Isadora).
After some bees posted other look-a-like dresses too, I realized that I was thinking through a “designer” lens. I didn’t want to be that kind of bride and that I had to follow my heart. This time I hugged my dress and committed for sure. No doubts.
And ladies, my cousin got a video of my in the dress… the photos really do not do it justice. I just LOVE the way it sparkles~ I am sooo happy!!
So in the end, I decided to name my dress. Instead of calling it F05174 and living in the shadow of the Isadora, I dub my dress:
Now the only problem is deciding what kind of veil to wear and how to wear my hair. It’ll be on a beach (which maybe windy). Fingertip or cathedral (with weights)? I’ll have a flower only for reception~