Post # 1
I am VERY happily engaged to the love of my life. He proposed last December, right before Christmas and presented me with the most beautiful ring. I absolutely love it…how it sparkles, the setting, the diamonds…EVERYTHING.
However, I am a special education teacher and a daycare supervisor. Working with children with special needs and infants/toddlers can be a messy job. I come in contact daily with drool, spit, boogers…not to mention other “yucky” bodily fluids/substances that can be found in a restroom. My hands also get bitten, licked, bumped, and pulled on numerous times a day.
Long story short, I am VERY protective (my fiance calls it paranoid) about my original, beautiful engagement ring that he proposed to me with. I never wear it at work…EVER…because I am so afraid of getting it yucky or pulled on…OR MOST IMPORTANTLY scratching a kid with the points on the marquise diamond or having a kid bite it and chip a tooth.
So, I talked my fiance into letting me get an inexpensive eRing to wear to work. He really wasn’t (and still isn’t) thrilled about the idea. My “real” eRing was very expensive by our standards, so I wanted to get something around $100 to wear everyday. I found a beautiful princess cut diamond solitare on a white gold band for $129 at WalMart when we were both there. I asked him what he thought and he said he wished I would get another marquise so it would look like what he gave me.
Now that the ring is ordered and getting sized, he say’s he’s okay with it and understands why I’m doing it. He just doesn’t want me wearing the new one more than my original. Now I’m starting to regret buying it because I don’t want to make him feel bad! I remind him all the time that I LOVE the ring that he picked out for me because it means SO much to me, but I still feel bad about wearing something different. I just want something on my hand at work rather than nothing at all because I’m to scared to wear my “real” ring.
So come on, Bees, lay it on me. What’s your opinion on this?
Post # 3
I totally understand your reasoning! I actually work in the same field (special ed) and have the same experiences of biting and dirty children, lol. I love it though! 🙂
There are much cheaper alternatives for a stand-in though! TBQH I kind of understand your SO’s point of view. But, disclaimer, I’m a bit biased because my actual e-ring cost <$100.
I highly reccomend Berricle, their CZ and plated SS rings look gorgeous and are very high quality. I’ve bought a stand-in band for $30! This sin’t actually the best picture because it’s not in daylight (normally it gets pretty sparkly!) but you get the idea. I’ve definitely seen marquise solitaires on their site, if that’s what you want, but that would still be sharp and pointy…they have lots of different styles!
Post # 4
First off, I am so jealous your last name/future last name is Beiber. I freakin love Justin Beiber. Lol. Yes you all can make fun of me for it. lol
But, I am in the same situation as you are. I don’t wear my ring to work because I do housekeeping and I don’t wanna scratch it or anything. I really want to get a ring to wear to work and have been looking, but I was looking at rings that don’t look like my e ring cuz I wanted something different. Even tho I love my e ring and I even picked it out, I just wanted something that looked different so people would know it wasn’t my actual ring(everyone at work knows what it looks like).
I don’t think you should feel bad about getting a work ring that looks differnt from your e ring. And you are only going to be wearing it around the work, so its not like your gonna forget about your other e ring. But just to make him feel better, I would switch my ring as soon as I got home.
Post # 5
@MrsSnowMountain: OOHHH i love that band!!!
Post # 6
kansas_nurse Thank you! It’s very slim and delicate, it looks very realistic! My finger is a bit under size 4 so it looks bigger on me. I actually have this one too:
(And it was on sale for 1/2 that!!)
…but I didn’t want to thread hijack…but I seem to be doing so anyway, sorry OP!
Post # 7
A marquis is pointy, but even my round stone can scratch, and a kid can still bite a princess cut, so having any ring on can still be dangerous to the kids… I dont really see that as a valid reason to wear a princess work ering isntead of the real one. Unless you were getting a band with no raised stone, I dont see the point. You may be dirty stuff on it, but its just a rock and metal, and can be easily cleaned… I’d just wear the real one.
Post # 8
I completely understand not wanting to wear a ring in that type of work setting. Did you ever think of just not wearing any engagement ring to work at all?
Post # 9
I totally feel the same. My nursery class play with my ring on my hand when sat near me, i’ve had a few say “pretty diamond get it out” and try to pick the stone out. My work ring is almost the same as my real one, neither are scratchy. My ring is insured but it’s the sentimental value,
Post # 10
As to pinkshoes ‘s point, you might want to consider a bezel or recessed setting where nothing sticks out to injure a kid, and there’s no crevices for gross stuff to get stuck in. That’s a very good point!
Or really, just a super simple unornamented band, no stones or anything, if the rationale is just to have something there so your finger isn’t bare. How important to you is it that it look like your e-ring? If it’s just for practical reasons, there’s no logic (to me) of stressing about it looking different from the original. You’ll still wear the original at home and outside of work, surely your FH wouldn’t have a problem given the reasons of safety and cleanliness you’ve given?
Post # 11
I completely agree with you and when picking out your wedding band, try to pick out a simple band you can wear every day to work and leave the E ring at home.
Post # 12
I’m an accountant so this never came up related to work but we’ve talked about a cheap stand-in during pregnancy if my fingers swell up. DH is fine with it, as long as he doesn’t have to buy it and I go back to wearing my real set once my fingers go back to normal. I just explained to him that some women wind up having to have their sets cut off because their fingers swell so badly during pregnancy. Maybe explaining the “worst case scenario” would help him understand better.
Post # 13
First of all, thanks to everyone who took the time to comment. Your thoughts gave me LOTS to think about! 🙂
Second, sorry to disappoint, @MsPiggy, but my future last name won’t be pronounced the same as Justin’s 😉 Justin’s last name is pronounced Bee-ber (long e) and my new last name is pronounced be Bye-ber. But’s it’s hysterical becasue people ask my fiance all the time if he’s related to Justin when they see him swipe his debit card or see his ID. He’s actually beginning to joke with people that Justin is is third cousin haha LOL! 🙂
And @anardana, you hit the nail on the head, so-to-speak…it’s the sentimental value of the thing!
Post # 14
I think stand-in rings are a good solution for things like this, although I’m confused about what you mean by scratching the diamond. Diamond has a hardness of 10…unless those kids are running around with other diamonds, nothing is going to scratch it, even tooth enamel.
Post # 15
I’m a midwife and when I am at work (mom in labor) I put my Engagement Ring on a necklace intead of my finger. Might that be an option? You could use a longer chain and have it tucked into your shirt.
Post # 16
@ivythorn: I was *JUST* going to suggest this.
I love this idea, because it frees up your hands for whatever work you have to do and are afraid of, but you’re still technically wearing the ring, just somewhere else. Plus, it’s close to your heart!