- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Bees, I need your help and insight. Enough is enough.
My relationship with my so-called best friend is in serious trouble. I guess I better give you some background information.
Rewind to spring & summer 2012: We were hanging out several times a week at the gym and also after the gym (we had a standing Monday night date to watch the bachelor/ette whenever it was on!). We sent super long emails back and forth several times daily, at the very least once a day. We were really really close. Darling Husband and I got engaged June of 2012, and I asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I was so excited to plan my wedding with her by my side.
Somewhere during the summer of 2012 she began dating a guy. I could tell almost immediately that it was very serious between the two of them, and I even said to her one day that I thought that he would be the one she’d end up marrying.
Throughout my entire wedding planning process, she grew more and more distant. I chalked this up to being super in love with her boyfriend, and I was happy for her! I really, honestly was so happy that she was happy! I missed her, sure, and I was upset that we were talking less and less, but I was busy too, and I accepted that he was her main focus for a while.
She missed A LOT of wedding things during the whole wedding planning process.. Fittings, bridesmaid stuff, she didn’t come to my shower (hosted by my aunts), she hardly ever responded to any wedding-related emails, she was just ABSENT. In fact, looking back, she was never there. She did throw me a great bachelorette party, and I appreciate all of her work that she put into that. It was A LOT of fun! But looking back at almost all of the other wedding related events, she just wasn’t there. I was disappointed. But everytime she had a seemingly great excuse, so who was I to be mad? I cannot/did not expect her to drop everything going on in her life to be there for everything. But it definitely was not lost on me that she wasn’t there for a lot of events.
Fast forward to Friday, October 11th (8 days before my wedding). She got engaged to this boyfriend that I had guessed that she would end up marrying. I was less than thrilled because I felt that they were stealing my thunder, but I expressed this to no one other than my Darling Husband and my mom. To her face I was super congratulatory and excited. (It’s not that I wasn’t excited for her, it was just the timing!!! Along with some of the built up resentment plus all the stress I was feeling with the upcoming wedding — I get that it doesn’t sound good, but hey, who’s perfect? It was how I felt. I’m not really sorry for that.)
At the wedding she was helpful, but dropped the ball several times. No big deal — my wedding was fabulous and it was hands down the best day of my life!!! Just looking back I remember wondering where she was the entire night.
Fast forward to this past Monday, she asks me to dinner. Now, we hardly ever talk at all. I’m shocked if I get even one text message from her in a week, down from several LONG emails/day! It is clear as a bell to me that our relationship is seriously struggling. I don’t even know her anymore! Anyway, we’re at dinner and she asks me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I of course said yes, and we were discussing the wedding and all of the plans for a while. There was a break in the conversation, so I decided to share with her that Darling Husband and I have decided that we’re going to TTC starting next summer. I was so nervous to tell her because we had decided not to tell too many people, but I just had to tell my best friend. As soon as I finish saying this SUPER exciting news to her, my face lit up with the prospect of starting a family, I look at her as she says “so you won’t be able to drink at my wedding next November then?” I wanted to throw up. All. Over. Her. Face.
Is it just me, or shouldn’t your best friend be over the moon excited for you when you tell her that you’re considering starting a family? My best friend who, whenever I would say “guess what!” to, her response was always “You’re PREGNANT?!?!” with a giant grin… shouldn’t she be more excited? Is it just me or is that the most offensive, selfish thing to say ever?! It makes me not want to be in her wedding. It makes me not want to be her friend anymore. It makes me want to cut her from my life.
Any advice or support is super appreciated. I just don’t know what to do anymore.