(Closed) My ring dilemma

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think you need to think about his side before rushing out to get a ring. Althought you don’t like your ring, he probably put a lot of thought into picking it out (as muc as it appears he didn’t). It must be very hard to know that after all that searching, you aren’t even wearing it on your ring finger. This might be why he is putting off buying you a new one.

That being said, I would sit down and have a talk with him. I would talk about how you have discussed getting a new ring and you would like to do that by (Feb 29 or whatnot). If he says he will go with you to buy a new one, go with him and help him pick what you like. If he leaves it and doesn’t want to, go buy a new one.

Post # 5
Member
764 posts
Busy bee

Valentines day is coming up.  Maybe he has a plan? Was budget a factor? I know many will come on here and tell you to be grateful.  Blah blah blah, but you have the right to feelwhose we you want.  I find it annoying that everyone always says “he’s gonna be hurt after searching for a ring”  Really? How do they know. He might have popped Ito the local department sthrs grabbed the $99 special and proposed. Its ridiculous to assume every man spent weeks of research, especially if you discussed it.  You could be setti g yourself up for a life of disappointment. Funny how no one would suggest you wear a dress you don’t like and rush in telling you “it’s just a dress” or encourage you to accept a crappy venue or raggedy home, but someone is always quick to encourage you to wear a ring you’re unhappy with. I think it’s funny when the same people who tell you “it’s just a symbol” freak out whentheir precious symbol is lost or ruined by a jeweler.  At any rate. Goos luck to you and I hope you get what you want 

Post # 6
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

What about going to a jeweler together to pick out your wedding bands? Maybe you can pick a thicker wedding band to wear after you are married and then can move the current ring to your right hand. 

Maybe something like this:

Have you asked him why he picked the ring he did? Or did you just straight up tell him you didn’t like it and wouldn’t wear it on your ring finger?

You might have hurt him by refusing to wear it on your ring finger and telling him it wasn’t good enough. I understand it wasn’t what you wanted/asked for, but he did buy it for you and propose to you with it so it should have some meaning and it shouldn’t just be tossed aside because it wasn’t what you wanted.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t get what you want, but there is probably a way to go about it that won’t hurt your FI’s feelings.

Do you think he may have felt pressured to propose by a certain time and therefore didn’t have time to get you the ring you really wanted to propose with? 

Post # 8
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mississippigirl:  Ok, so had you specifically talked about engagement rings and showed him pictures of what you wanted? Or did you just hint that you wanted something “simple”?

Because his idea of a “simple engagement ring” might be totally different then your idea of a simple engagement ring.

Do you have a photo of your ring?

How did you broach the subject with him of not liking the ring? How quickly after the proposal did you tell him you didn’t like it? How did he react?

Post # 9
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

Yeah- hmm that’s a tricky one. I’d just even say something ” babe let’s go shopping this Saturday and get that ring, wedding is coming up and I want to show off to people that I’m getting married to the best guy on the planet!” if he says he can’t make him book in a time when he can. FYI I think you are pefectly entitled to be upset. You’ll be wearing this ring for the rest of your life, of course you want to love and treasure it- not resent it. If he knew what you wanted and has the $$$ then all power to you.

Post # 11
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mississippigirl:  Have you asked him why he picked that ring?

How did he react to you telling him you didn’t like it?

Post # 12
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

Don’t make a big deal out of it- just tell him that you ( both of you) are going shopping so you can show him exactly what you want. Let’s face it, I’m sure he wants to get you something you are thrilled with- no need to sit down with him and talk about your feelings that’s just going to embaress the dude- just say sweetly this is what we are doing and this is when we are doing it- you don’t need to have a Dr phill session about it. Hope this helps.

Post # 13
Member
9673 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

i think you are entitled to having a ring that you love, i think taking him ring shopping is a good idea, and once you get a proper engagement ring still wear the other one on your right hand so he knows you do like it and it is special to you 🙂

 

@takemyhand:  

@KatNYC2011:  OP has been wearing the ring on her left ring finger

Post # 15
Member
9673 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

maybe take him again and look at different places until you find one so he can buy it straight away 🙂 just to ensure he does buy one, cos otherwise he may keep forgetting

Post # 16
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Jacqui90:  Ah ok, I was going off a PP’s post.

 

@Mississippigirl:  I think maybe you should just go shopping together for a ring and pick it out together and hopefully he can order it then and there so it’ll be all settled.

You could also look for his wedding band and your wedding band at the same time.

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