(Closed) My ring finally came in–and it's a huge disappointment

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 41
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee

In general an oval (or any stone) can be set low to the band. The issue with this ring in particular is that it has shoulders that are a set distance apart and they are a set height. that means that the angle that the prongs come out of the ring is fixed by the original design you modified. Since the angel is set, but your stone is very wide, the prongs have to go for a ways up before the distance between them is large enough for your oval. That is causing your ring to be set higher than the example.

I also think it’s not a bad ring. The setting is pretty and it doesn’t look bigger than a 9×7 oval would in any setting. Very few people will notice your ring from the side. It’s the view you always see, but it’s uncommon for others to see it. I have a black center stone and four peekaboo ruby side stones that are only visible if you’re looking along my finger at the side of the ring. When people ask to see my ring I try to show it off in a way that makes those rubies visible. And I still have people confused and asking where they are because they’re harder to see.
So basically, most people will see your ring from the top and won’t even notice the side view.

It is a little worrying that your fiance hates this ring though. Because even if they could lower the setting (either by widening the shoulders or bending the prongs outward), the ring is going to look almost the same. So he might still hate it

You might just want to try getting used to a taller set stone. You’ve got all winter break!

Post # 42
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Well firstly, it’s a cathedral setting so it’s naturally high anyway. Secondly, the stone is quite large so like PP stated you would want that space down below for stability reasons. Also, the jeweller was working off a specific design you gave to them which was designed for a smaller, round stone so they were most likely trying to keep it as close to the design as possible without compromising th durability or stability of the ring so probably that’s why that had to make that alteration. Did they do any drawings, digital sketches etc of what the finished ring would look like? 

Post # 43
Member
1295 posts
Bumble bee

If you feel like it looks like a cocktail ring and he hates it, wear it on your right hand or just for special occasions and get another one.  The side view looks very much like the link to the setting.

I don’t know why people get huge moissanite “diamonds” and expect them to look real.

Post # 45
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

It sounds like miscommunication on what you were wanting, I can see how the settings are similar but due to your stone, they made a decision but you had wanted it done differently. It does appear as high as the sample pic though. Could you go back and ask what can be done? That you would prefer to the stone to sit lower and that actually the head would be slightly lower than the sample photo? They may be able to alter that part of the ring. I’m sorry you aren’t a fan of the height, it does look lovely but clearly not what you were wanting 🙁 We went custom too, and I wanted height, so I would have been disappointed if it was low. I’m hoping they can help you. My understanding is that the head (the bit that is holding your stone) can be altered as it’s designed separately and then added into the setting, good luck bee. No one wants to be unhappy!! 

Post # 46
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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aclockworklilac :  I’m shocked by all the Bees saying your ring looks the same as their sample one. The addition of a donut and a bar are HUGE design changes and I cannot believe they were made without your consent.

Your ring is beautiful and I think you’re overreacting a bit about how ostentatious it is, because it looks lovely and simple on your hand, but I do not blame you at all for being upset with these major design changes. I would not have paid for that setting because it looks nothing like the one you chose.

And people saying the profile doesn’t matter?! Well to me the profile is the single most important view of any ring because it’s what you see all the time! 

You really need to take this ring to a different jeweler (a real jeweler, not a jewelry store sales person) before you take it back to the original store. You need a second opinion before you speak to them because they’re only going to stand by what they did. And you need an impartial opinion on whether or not the stone could be lower — to me, it looks like they shound have widened the gap where the head goes, it should not have been a simple peg swap, but they didn’t bother doing this. I think if they’d done a proper job, your stone would be set much lower. But I don’t know enough about jewelry-making to be confident with that opinion so you need to speak with someone who actually makes rings.

Post # 47
Member
3058 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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aclockworklilac :  I think your fiancé and your complaints about the gawdiness of the ring has much more to do with the stone size in this particular setting 

Unfortunately a common hazard with buying a simulant is the temptation to go quite large, as there is little price deterrent. In this particular setting a 2 carat equivalent was probably not the best option. I don’t think trying to get it set a smidge lower is going to help. It is what it is. 

Post # 48
Member
3108 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

That’s what it’s supposed to look like. 

Post # 49
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I think it’s beautiful!

Post # 50
Member
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

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aclockworklilac :  I would say compared to the link you sent us compared to your picture, it isn’t crazy at all. The setting you picked was definitely a high setting to begin with. It is beautiful! You should try it out and see if you can adjust to it in a few days! 🙂

Post # 51
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My ering sits high exactly like that. At first it freaked me out too. It’s normal. It’s not gaudy at all. 

Post # 53
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

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aclockworklilac :  Why is it set so high??? The diamond looks extra thick… could the jeweler not lower it??

Post # 54
Member
4812 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

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aclockworklilac :  A total redesign of a ring to fit a different shape is generally going to cost more than $150. They DID make the ring to fit an oval, they put in a more appropriate head, with longer prongs, and a basket. Yes, it is only 0.5mm larger width wise, but it is 2.5mm larger length wise – that is a BIG difference. Putting in a larger, different shaped stone is not a two dimensional problem. It is not only bigger all around, it is deeper. Putting in a larger stone lengthwise means the entire head has to be bigger and all the prongs longer and wider set. 

I think there may have been a miscommunication/misunderstanding here; them on not explaining the limits of modifying the existing setting or that it would mean some change; and you on not understanding that a 2ct oval is going to have a very different look in that setting than a 1ct round. As I said before, 2ct is not subtle if that was what you are going for.

So, you aren’t happy. No one here is going to convince you to be happy with it. Go back to the jeweler and see if they will work with you. If not, as it is non-returnable, then get a simple solitaire setting for now until you decide what you want to do. Maybe the jeweler will even work with you to get you a simple setting, who knows.

Post # 56
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

i’m just really confused what the issue is here. you seem to hate that it’s so high set. yet you ordered a very high setting. i get that it looks slightly different, like they added a bar to make it sturdier making it more of a cathedral setting. but that makes sense to me since you have a stone twice the size and a different shape. however, you seem stuck on the high setting part of it more than anything and you seem to be using the changes they made to the setting to accommodate your stone as an excuse to put the blame back on them. well, imho, what you got what you ordered. so this seems like classic buyer’s remorse, which is on you. that doesn’t mean you can’t own up to all of this and ask what your options are and how they can help.

i think it’s strange that if you are this picky about the specifics of how a setting looks that you would buy something as important as an engagement ring this way. especially on a tight budget. and why would you pay for it, take it out of the store, and accept it? that puts the store more in the right than anything.  

as for the car buying analogy, it is your job to fully look it over and doublecheck everything before you sign all of the paperwork and pay them. the paperwork would disclose everything and it’s your job to read it all before signing and taking ownership. it would definitely be on you if you simply didn’t pay enough attention, no matter what the car salesman may have told you. if the paperwork didn’t match what you drove away with, sure that would be jacked up. but i’m not sure how that makes any sense here as a comparison? 

tldr: i would admit to the jeweler that i don’t like it and state exactly why. i wouldn’t try to blame them for any wrongdoing just because you have buyer’s remorse. i would ask what my options are and go from there. 

not that it helps a lot, but i do think it’s really beautiful and looks lovely on you. 

Post # 57
Member
97 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
aclockworklilac :  I think it’s a beautiful ring.  It was a high setting to begin with.  Maybe it wasn’t noticeable because of the picture had a different shape and size center stone. They had to change out the head to accommodate a bigger Ct and different shape stone.  It would have to sit a little bit higher because your stone is double the size of that ring.  An oval shape usually faces up a lot larger than other shapes.  If you wanted a smaller look then I would exchange your 2 ft oval stone. 

Post # 58
Member
2461 posts
Buzzing bee

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aclockworklilac :  it looks fabulous to me!!! I don’t think it’s all that different. A little higher but probably has to be to accommodate the length the prongs have to stretch and to be able to allow light to get under so it can sparkle as it should.

My ring is a lot higher than I would have ever picked for myself, but my fiancé picked it out and it sure is beautiful. It’s just higher than I would have picked personally, especially being a nurse. 

Post # 59
Member
3654 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

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aclockworklilac :  Yeah but what kind of happened here was you saw a 2 door car, said, “That looks great! I want that, but with 4 doors” and then you are caught off guard by the fact that adding two more doors changed the design of the model you liked.

I do hope they are willing to work with you on making adjustments to the setting if they can, and I echo PPs suggestion of taking it to a different jeweler just to confirm that what you want to have done can actually be done. And at least now you’ll know to always get a proof of some sort before agreeing to a custom job/alteration for an item.

Post # 60
Member
1485 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

Honest question: would you be as upset with it if the center stone was a diamond?

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