Post # 1
So, my ring is lost in the mail. Officially. SO was going to get the ring and stone and have it set without my knowing and surprise propose, but he decided he wants me to go with him to the jewelry store when he drops it off to be set so I make sure the prongs are what I want, etc. So he gives me the USPS tracking number so I can stalk the ring package. The stone (ordered from a different vendor) got here the second day after we ordered it. The ring shipped two days after we ordered it, and 7 business days later we still don’t have it, and the USPS tracking info hasn’t updated. It’s 2 days beyond the seller’s estimated delivery window. We’re officially calling it lost. I emailed the seller earlier this morning but they have not yet responded.
If it weren’t for this stupid shipment delay, we would be engaged by now. (We don’t want to announce it without a ring because SO wants to do some kind of official asking/putting a ring on my finger, and I kind of agree with that, so we’re not considering ourselves technically engaged yet.)
Meanwhile, today his 20-year-old cousin announces her engagement via FB. Talk about a slap in the face.
I just….FFFFFFFFFF!!!! I have half a mind to talk to SO and just say, “Hey, I already pretty much feel engaged, we know we want to get married, can we just call ourselves engaged and announce it so I can start planning?” Not because now his cousin is engaged and I feel the need to compete. No. Because it made me realize I’m tired of waiting for the damn ring, tired of calling USPS every day to ask the same question that I already know the answer to, tired of waiting for the seller to email me back/to send a replacement, then we would have to wait 2+ weeks for the jeweler to set the stone (and that’s if we can even find a local jeweler to work with moissanite), tired of WAITING for something that is peripheral to the actual engagement. I already feel engaged. I’ve already contacted some vendors. We’ve already discussed a date. My aunt is bringing my mom’s wedding dress and all the ladies in my fam are going to go on a dress-trying-on trip with me when they’re here for my graduation in 2 weeks. So why aren’t we engaged? I just feel like it would take a huge stress off if we could just BE ENGAGED ALREADY and not have to wait for something that’s completely out of our hands (USPS/the seller) to decide when it gets to happen. And in the meantime we have to essentially pretend not to be engaged.
Just…ugh. Rant over. Thanks for listening.
Post # 3
@Kant:Take a deep breath. It’s awesome that you know you want to be married. And this part is tough, but it ends.
Just remember, you are doing this (the waiting) for him–he wants to propose. Give him that, you’ll appreciate it later. Not that that makes the waiting any less frustrating.
Hugs. Almost there.
Sorry they lost your package!
Post # 4
Seems you two are already engaged – you just don’t have the ring yet. Hope everything works out for you though. Good luck.
Post # 5
Wow, why is the cousin a slap in the face? You’re going to want her to be excited for you, so why can’t you be excited for her?
Your guy wants his moment to propose, and saying you’re engaged before that happens would really take it away from him. And I know you said you’re not competitng with the cousin, but come on now. If you two got engaged for real first, and the cousin immediately after was like, “We are engaged too! Just no ring yet, it’s on it’s way, but we’re engaged!” you’d be pissed off.
Post # 6
@Wonderstruck: I didn’t say I’m not excited for her. It’s a slap in the face because it just makes me realize even more that that could be us too, but it’s not. Because the USPS fucked up. Because of something completely and utterly out of our control.
I don’t think I would be pissed if it were the other way around and she announced her engagement without a ring. I’d just think, “Oh, V is in engaged too, I can’t wait to see her ring when she gets it!!” Lots of couples get engaged without rings. I kind of want to have mine when we make the announcement, but I am realizing that if it means waiting another month+ of being, for all intents and purposes, engaged, but pretending not to be because we’re just waiting for the ring, then I don’t want it that bad. The ring can wait, and in the meantime, let’s stop pretending and just BE engaged already.
Post # 7
I used to work for the post office. Depending on where the ring was sent from, and the weather that it’s had to endure, it doesn’t mean it’s lost. It could just be delayed. USPS doesn’t update tracking info every time a package is touched like other places. It says when it was picked up, and when it was delivered. Having realistic expectations about what they offer is a good idea. Your package is probably on a truck somewhere, or at a processing facility. Give it a little more time.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
You just need to breathe. You know engagement is imminent. Enjoy these last few days/weeks of this stage of your relationship 🙂
Post # 10
The bottom line is you both love each other, you want to marry, the rest is details. Big details or small ones, they are details… everything will work out. Focus on your wedding and no one elses, it will be the perfect time to announce when you get it so don’t worry. When everything is in place and the ring is ready for your finger, it’ll be worth the wait. Take some deep breaths, tomorrow is another day.
ETA: There will be bumps in the road in life and when you’re married it’s shared bumps. Lean on your SO right now and just take it easy. Not everything in life goes our way, unfortunately.
Post # 11
I’d give USPS more time before you say its lost. I think you can make a claim at 14 days? So I’d call USPS the day after that. I’ve ordered stuff from the east coast & it can take almost 2 weeks for me to get it. At work, I’ve sent stuff to the east coast (priority mail) & it takes 2 days. Its only a few dollars more to upgrade shipping but I never do, but always wish I upgraded shipping because I don’t like waiting for things. Plus it was Memorial day weekend recently, so that can delay things by an extra day or so.
Also, they don’t always update the status. I’ve checked the status, have it say that it arrived at some other city as the last update, check my mail & its there & then go check my status again & all updates are on there.