Post # 1
I know it’s Monday, which equals a LOT of venting posts, but I really need to get this off of my chest.
So today, I’m talking to my professor after class about medical school (I’ll be entering my first year in July), and she notices my engagement ring. She gives me a half-hearted “Congrats.” She starts asking me about how it’s going to affect my studying, etc. Then, she made this off-handed comment about “Well it’s such a shame when young girls get married too soon. Nine times out of ten, it completely RUINS their future.”
Lady, are you kidding me?!?!? After how hard I worked to get there, you think I’m going to throw it all away? Nevermind the fact that Mr. Cajun supports me 100%! He’s even letting me push back the wedding an entire year, to the summer of 2013, so that we can have it during my break between lecture and clinicals.
She has some nerve to assume that I’m so easily distracted from what I’ve been working toward my ENTIRE LIFE. Is it that hard to believe that I can be a great wife and a great doctor?
I swear, some people are just so negative. In case, she hasn’t noticed, I have beaten the odds to get where I am today. For the record, she has noticed. She wrote me a letter of recommendation because she watched me transform from failing one of her classes my freshman year due to an abusive relationship to making straight A’s for the last 5 semesters.
So, I apologize to those of you who are tired of listening to people bitch and moan. I just needed an outlet. I’m stuck at work at the library until 10. So I’ve been stewing in my thoughts since approximately 4:30.
…I do feel a little better now though.
Post # 3
Yeah, I don’t know. If a professor said that to me I’d probably say “Don’t worry, I’m not paying this school thousands of dollars for a Mrs. degree.”
Post # 4
What a bitch. Also, I just finished med school, and several of my classmates got engaged or married during that time. Occasionally there would be a professor/attending (usually a man) who thought that worrying about a wedding would impact their schoolwork, but having a support system at home is really the best thing you can possibly have for getting through med school. So ignore your awful professor, enjoy being engaged, and good luck. Also, at least from my experience, the break between 1st and 2nd year is a way more convenient time to get married than 2nd and 3rd (when you’re taking Step 1 and then only have a little time before clinicals). Just my advice.
Post # 5
@MrsCajun: Don’t let her get to you. Maybe she is one of those Bitter Betty’s whose relationships never worked out? I have a couple of older people in my life like that too, but I just ignore them. I know what is best for me, and I know that just because I get married doesn’t mean that I am no longer the same person. I know how negative people are annoying and suck, so vent away sister 🙂
Post # 6
From a slightly different perspective…maybe she was just nervous if she is aware that your grades suffered before due to a relationship? Obviously I am assuming that your relationship with your fiance is different of the one you had with your ex or you wouldn’t be marrying him but I can see how she may be worried just the same. It sounds like she cares about you and your future and just came across in a very rude way.
Post # 7
@MrsCajun: wow! that’s unbelieveable! I would be sooo mad too! I have no idea what I would have said. (probably nothing cause I’m one of those people who takes three days to come up with comebacks)
Post # 8
As a soon-to-be-professor myself, I can assure you that what she said was completely, 100% inappropriate and out of line. I would NEVER say something like that to a student.
Post # 9
holy crap that’s f’d up!! My professors are actually coming to the wedding, and the ones who can’t have already given gifts. it’s totally thoughtful of them! They are very encouraging, even when I told them that I’m not going straight for my PhD after I graduate, even though they encouraged me to.
I think anybody that would say that to you is either jaded or jealous. What a heinous bitch!
Post # 10
Um, yeah, that’s really inappropriate. In my department, saying something like that would get you a lecture from the department chair.
Post # 11
Ugh! Makes me grateful for my academic advisor. She was like, “OH MY GOODNESS WHAT A BEAUTIFUL RING!” during one of my advising sessions. She was married young and it didn’t work out, but at least she realizes that that was HER relationship and not mine!
Post # 12
Ugh, I’ve heard similar- not from professors thankfully. Usually I’ll get an awkward “congrats” from them and a shuffle off, then “Well, I would never get married in college” from classmates. Unfortunately I go to a college that is known for girls attending to get their Mrs degree (why pay 35+ a year is rediculous).
There’s an assumption that once you’re married you’re going to start having babies and giving up any idea of a career- not that you can’t do one or both but being married puts you on a path that does not include upper education or career.
Post # 13
Ugh, ignore her.
I agree with Miss OBG – after first year, when you have a real summer, is probs a better time than after second. Studying for boards is a mess and I can’t imagine having to have planned a wedding in that time! That said, I’m getting married at the beginning of 4th year which is also crazy so it’s doable if you want to.
Post # 14
I can’t stand people like that. I’ve seen so many wives, mothers, fathers, and husbands go to get their MD/JD/PhD. Most of them had the highest grades in the class. Don’t mind her, she doesn’t know it all. 🙂
Post # 15
I am pretty close with my family’s Dr. Her and her husband both went to med school together and got married WHILE in med school. Now they have one of the best offices in my area and teach. Amazing ppl and they made it through. Even teachers dont know everything.