(Closed) My Rude Friend – Vent

posted 7 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 3
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

urrrrggghhh that drives me insane!!!

Post # 5
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

that’s so obnoxious, and so racist! 

Post # 6
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@kate169: That is uncalled for.  I had a friend that would say the same thing in front of a “black” guy that I was semi-with.  I would get so angry with her.  Oh, and guess what?  She tried to hook up with him behind my back.  

Post # 8
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

That’s really offensive, I just can’t understand how she doesn’t see how racist that is. Why does she think it’s ok to say it outloud?

Post # 9
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@kate169: Absolutely.  I think people who are very vocal about this are fighting a possible desire they may have.  Just my opinion and observation though.

Post # 10
Hostess
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I am wondering if she is coming from a “cultural” perspective rather than a racial one. In other words she wouldn’t date a black man (or Asian, or Indian etc) because they have different habits, beliefs and perspectives. Just a thought that came to my mind, but you know her better than I do.

EDIT: Not at all downplaying the offensive nature of the comment or your feelings regarding it so please don’t take it that way.
 

Post # 11
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Treejewel19:  even if it was from cultural…Black men (or any man) should not be used for sex toys, if you cant date them….dont sleep with them!

Post # 12
Member
4159 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Umm..why is she your friend?!! Sorry, I hope that’s not snarky, but I wouldn’t put up with that.

Post # 13
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

That’s brutally disrespectful! I don’t know if I could keep her around. 

Post # 14
Hostess
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@MrsStrawberry24: I completely agree and will not argue with you on that pont. Again, that leads me to my very same question as sleeping with someone and dating them are two entirely different things. To date someone is to relate with them and get to know them…that isn’t necessarily required for a hook up.

Again, I am not at all trying to deflate or downplay the offensive nature of the comment so please don’t take it as a start to an argument…I was just honestly curious as I have a friend that says similar things and she comes from a different perspective.

Post # 15
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

“…she also flirts with my husbands cousin all the time and tried to get him to have sex with her on more than one occasion.”


Can we just go back to this sentence for one second?  How on earth is it okay for a friend to try to get your boyfriend to have sex with her???  Unless it happened before she met you, she is no friend of yours, my dear!  :S

Post # 16
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@kate169: Oh my goodness! How rude and offensive! I had something similar, but on a smaller scale, happen to me in high school. Once, I was working on a group project at a classmate’s house with some other classmates and we were talking about prom. One of the girls didn’t have a date and we were trying to suggest who she could go with. Someone mentioned a black guy and she goes “Um, he’s black…no.” At the time I was dating a black guy (I’m white) and I was like “Uhhh, I’m standin’ right here, bitch!” It took her a second, but she realized what she said and apologized but it still rubbed me the wrong way. I’m now engaged to a white man, but I’ve definitely been there and it sucks when people’s intolerances come out that way.

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