- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2015
I have a younger sister (4 years between us) who I share somewhat of a similar social circle with, and the idea of sleeping with someone she has, or vice versa makes me physically sick.
I don’t care if it was a one night stand, a 4 month relationship, or a 4 year relationship, to me, there is just a boundary in place that I have zero interest in crossing. There are so many guys out in the world, and just because I found one of her ex’s to be nice, doesn’t mean I should feel it necessary to pursue a relationship with him.
But you did, and now here you are engaged to her exboyfriend. Perhaps at the time she shrugged it off because she didn’t take it so seriously. Regardless, it’s not fair for you to expect her to rise to the occasion and “be a good sister” and act congradulatory as you would like or see fit. Because, quite honestly, in her eyes you are the selfish one. You have to be understanding of that, and emphathize with how she’s feeling and how awkward this has all played out in front of her eyes.
Up to this point, everything has been about you, clearly. So, now it’s time to put your sister’s feelings in front of yours and try to salvage whatever relationship is left. But, you have to respect her feelings and her desire to perhaps not share in your engagement and marriage. Yes, this is your “special time” but you also made a bit of a dramatic mess getting there, and it’s your responsibility to clean it up.