Post # 1
My daughter will be seven when we get married. Her father and I split when she was two so I’ve raised her alone for the last few years. Her father is more of a casaul visitor than anything else. My fiancee and her are close. He moved in a few months ago and my daughter is thrilled! My husband will also be adopting her after we marry (I have full legal rights…long story). He also has a son who will be four when we marry. My daughter and his son get along like siblings (both good and bad haha).
My question is what role to give my daughter in the wedding. She seems too old to be a flower girl but a jr bridesmaid isn’t special enough. Can she walk me down the aisle? My stepson will be a jr groomsman because thats what his dad wants. Also, I won’t be doing a father-daughter dance because my own father isn’t around. Can I do a dance with her instead? Or can I dance with my stepson and my husband dance with her?
Have you been to a ceremony that incorporated the children?
Thank you!!! And anyone who has a blended family, I’d love your advice on all of it!
Post # 3
I don’t think 7 is too old to be a flower girl, but I think it would be super-cute if she walked you down the aisle. Also, I’ve seen weddings where the parent-to-be says vows to their future step child(ren). That could be a nice way to include them both.
Post # 4
We are actually do “family vows” She could be a bridesmaid but then pulled to the altar or whatever and as a family you could all make a promise to eachother.
I am dancing with my soon to be step-son at the wedding 🙂
Post # 5
Can you tell me more about the family vows?
Post # 6
7 isn’t too old for a flower girl. you could have her walk right in front of you so that you still share the aisle and it’s sort of like she’s walking you down.
a dance with your children would be beautiful! you can dance with your daughter while your dh dances with his son, and halfway through the song you could switch so that you each get to dance with both children…so sweet!
Post # 7
@SoontobeMrsA: Basically it’s the same as vows for the bride and groom.
The children is asked some form of question that would elicite and I do response.(Probably easier to have them do it together and cuter)
Then the bride and groom will make a similar promise to the children and something regarding loving their mother/father. Example of family style vow:
“________, I promise to be a good and faithful husband/wife to you, and also a patient, loving father/mother to (children’s names), caring for them and providing for them as my own. I promise to be their strength and their emotional support, loving them with all my heart forever.”
Google family vows for other examples. It’s pretty common now. As well as family sand ceremonies.
Post # 8
My 8yo & 13yo daughters are my ONLY wedding party. I am calling my older daughter my bridesmaid and my younger daughter a mini maid (thank you ALfred Angelo-that is what they called her dress). I dont believe a 7yo is too young for a flower girl… my youngest did NOT want to be a flower girl. My daughters are wearing matching bridesmaid dresses. We are having a family sand ceremony at our marital ceremony.
Post # 9
I love the take you suggested on the father/daughter & mother/son dance. I think that would be SO cute & would be GREAT pictures to remember for a lifetime!
Post # 10
Thanks everyone! I love love love the idea of me dancing with my daughter and him dancing with his son then us switching. As for dressing her, similar to the bridesmaids or similar to mine?
Post # 11
I think it would be really sweet to have both children stand up with their respective parents, and then you can choose whether or not you want to include family vows aswell.
I love the idea of a mother/son, father/daughter dance!
Post # 13
I think doing some sort of family vow would be really great. Also, I think it’d be great if your daughter would walk you down the aisle. She could be like a 2nd Maid/Matron of Honor, if you wanted, and have her stand closest to you at the ceremony. I don’t think that’s off-putting to a Maid/Matron of Honor to say that you want your daughter there, too. You could do the same thing with his son.
And the dance sounds great!
Post # 14
My daughter will be 8 and she’ll be the flower girl/jr. bridesmaid…I’m not really sure what to call her, but I am also thinking that her role doesn’t have to have a title, necessarily. I haven’t been letting her think she’ll be the “flower girl” because she associates that with dropping flower petals before the bride walks down the aisle, and I don’t really want a flower petal aisle. Also, I want her and my son (who will be 5) to walk with me/beside me, not in front of me.
We’re not having any other attendants…it’ll just be the four of us standing up there together!