(Closed) My SIL/MOH wants to have a baby NOW but my brother wants to wait till marriage?!

posted 10 years ago in Babies
Post # 17
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Personally I would make sure you tell your brother what she said she plans on doing with her birth control. I wouldn’t wait till she tells you she took it out to tell him, because she might take it out and not tell anyone, even you. So even if she doesn’t tell anyone when she takes it out, at least he knows she might of, and has a warning. He needs to know that. That’s a horrible thing to do to a man, and I think that’s another good way to make him end up leaving you and your child. I think both people need to be ready to have a baby, and pushing the other to have one, isn’t going to be good for the two people or the baby. So make sure you tell him please! If he doesn’t believe you, he doesn’t belive you, but at least you warned him, and let him know.

Post # 18
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I also agree, she might be your Maid/Matron of Honor and she might be get pissed that you told him and drop out of your wedding, but I would feel super guilty if I didn’t tell my brother somethign like this. That isn’t fair to him, and just think he ever finds out that you did know and you didn’t warn him about this, he might be mad at you for life. I think finding a new Maid/Matron of Honor would be easier to deal with than having a brother that never talked to you agian or an unhappy brother. You should def. tell him! Who cares what the crazy moh thinks.

Post # 19
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I don’t mean to judge, but I’m having a hard time seeing how this girl can still be your friend!  My older brother’s gf is one of my bridesmaids, and if I found out she was planning anything like this or behaving this way with him, I’d be upset.  If you genuinely think she’s serious andd not just venting or even joking, I think you need to tell your brother.

I’m sorry you had to be put in this position – I can only imagine how difficult and uncomfortable is must make you=(

Post # 21
Member
286 posts
Helper bee

Wow…that is really crazy!!! She is only 21 and has plenty of time to have another child..I hope your brother has a serious talk with her about the baby situation. 3,000 for a ring is a lot of money and then a newborn to take care of is even more..She need to get her priorities straight…I don’t want my children to be too far apart in age either I have a 3 year old and will be getting married late this year or next year sometime but we will NOT be having any children right away…I think you should tell her exactly how selfish he is being..Yes, it might hurt her feelings but she needs a snap back to reality for a minute…

Post # 22
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee

babies cost more then $3K, and do they have an emergency fund?  This scares me on so many levels, that I really hope they stop having sex or at least start using condoms until they sort everything out.  She sounds very immature…but for you, now that you’ve told him, I’d try to remove yourself from the situation as MUCH as possible…and IF they broke up, would you keep her as your MOH?

Post # 24
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Tell your brother. I know some people would say you can’t get involved, but he needs to know.

If they’ve almost broken up several times, why are they still together? This doesn’t sound like a good relationship… she needs to respect his wishes! What will happen if they DO get married? What if she just buys a car without him agreeing? Or sells one of his possessions without consulting him? She does not sound like someone who is relationship oriented, that is just so sad and selfish.

Post # 25
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee

I think your brother comes first, before your Maid/Matron of Honor and you should definitely talk to him about the conversation you had with her.  He might already know but if he wants to stick to his beliefs they should be married first, he needs to know that his Girlfriend is or will be decieving him to get what she wants.

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