Post # 1
I posted a few months ago – actually, about a year ago – about the fact that I’ve wanted to get a tattoo for a while. At the time it was a flower design but that’s since changed to something like this, which is a reference to the fact that I’m a writer…
Anyway, my sister’s getting married next year (anytime from June to October) and she’s been engaged for about five years now. For the last two-three years now she’s told me I can’t get my tattoo (which would be on my ankle) because she’s on about having short BM dresses and I’m one of hers. I’ve volunteered to cover it with makeup or tights and she tells me it’ll look bad. That’s why I posted a thread about it a while ago and everyone was great. You all really encouraged me to go for it, and I’ve been looking for designs and researching tattoo places for a while.
Yesterday I was looking up designs for it and I mentioned it to her and she said again that I couldn’t get it. I told her I’m going to get it anyway and she said I can’t be her BM then. I laughed and told her she wasn’t serious and she wouldn’t really do that over a tattoo. I pointed out that her own tattoos will be on display and she told me that she gets to decide that because she’s the bride. She said that she’d just have to have long BM dresses instead – which I think was an attempt at guilting me, but I tried not to give in to it.
Anyway, when I posted it first last year a few people said that the timing is what made it unfair, and that if it wasn’t so long it would be better for me to wait, so I was wondering about this. Do you think that I should wait now because it’s only 18 months, to avoid drama? Or do you think it’s worth incurring my sister’s wrath to get it now?
Post # 2
ZebraPrintMe: I’m really not a tattoo person at all, but I think if it’s something you really want then 18 months is wayyyy to long to wait just for someone elses wedding. I’d say go for it!
Post # 3
I would just go for it. She is being ridiculous!
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
I can’t see how getting a tattoo affects your BM role, even if it’s visible. And this comes from someone who doesn’t like tattoos and would never get one. I voted for you to get it now.
Post # 5
If you don’t want to wait, then don’t wait. Your sister is way out of line. The bride gets to decide on things like bridesmaid dress colors, shoes, and makeup…not tattoos.
I really like your tattoo idea, BTW. Pretty designs!
Post # 6
She is being completely unreasonable. 18 months is too long to make someone else wait on something personal like a tattoo, especially when you want to have it on your ankle, which is not very conspicuous. Why is she so against you getting a tattoo if she already has her own that will be showing for the wedding?
Post # 7
emstar168: She thinks that ankle tattoos are trashy, so she doesn’t want one on her wedding photos. She is pretty obsessed with having perfect photos, she’s having major facial surgery to make sure she looks perfect for them…
Post # 8
ZebraPrintMe: If it were a month to wait maybe I’d view it differently. But she’s already made you wait for 2-3 years and now wants you to wait another 1.5 . . . that is just too controlling of her.
I say get what you want . . . she can decide to do long BM dresses, or not have you as a bridesmaid, or have the photographer photoshop the tattoo out of a few of the pictures. Or have you pose in the pictures in a way that doesn’t show the tattoo.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2016 - Virmond Park
ZebraPrintMe: =-O that is insane. for the record I have 1 tattoo and my sister has 13. I believe after deciding you want a tattoo and choosing a design to wait a year and see if you still want it, but she is being completely unreasonable. get it. she can deal with it like a woman.
Post # 10
Oh hell no I wouldn’t be waiting. Screw her, your body your choice
Post # 11
ZebraPrintMe: I say do it. It’s far enough away that it will be completely healed and you can get amazing tattoo cover up/concealer now. (Have you seen the Kat Von D before/after pictures). Your sister is being unreasonable. If you were talking about getting a tattoo 3 days before her wedding that would be scabby and not so nice looking I could understand but you’re totally fine 🙂
Post # 12
There is no way that you should let your sister dictate what you do with your body for 3+ years. That is ridiculous. If she really doesn’t like it in her photos, she can use Photoshop to get rid of it. Either way, not your problem.
Post # 13
MsGinkgo: I’ve already offered to use makeup or tattoo concealer and every time she says it won’t be good enough.
Post # 14
ZebraPrintMe: If you haven’t already, search google for tattoo cover up before and after and show them to your sister….there are some incredible cover up photos! You can’t even tell, and for a small tattoo on your ankle absolutely no one will notice and the photos won’t show it at all. Your sister needs to take a chill pill. This is a wedding day, not an excuse to be a control freak about other people’s lives.
Post # 15
I know this isn’t your question, but… if within a year you’ve changed your mind about what you want your tattoo to look like, you need to wait longer before getting it. Laser removal is expensive and painful. Regardless of your sister’s timeline, you need to be sure of a design before you get it. I recommend printing out a picture and hanging it somewhere in your home that you will see multiple times per day. If you still like it after several months, then you should consider getting it.
As for your sister’s wedding, I think she’s being ridiculous. You can easily cover it up if it bothers her that much, though I don’t think you should have to.