(Closed) My sister dropped out of wedding via email!!!! Im pissed!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

Definitely not an awesome move on her part to do it by email.

It sounds like you need to have a serious heart to heart with her.  If she’s planning to have a family now, she very well might be pregnant by the time your date rolls around, and she might feel uncomfortable buying a dress for the occasion or being pregnant in all of the pictures.  

If she’s worried that there is too much of a time commitment, then perhaps she could just be a regular bridesmaid instead of the matron of honor?  This will relieve some of the pressure and she could still be a part of the events leading up to the wedding without having the responsibility.

Tell her that you’re hurt and that you really wanted her to be a part of it, but if she still declines, try to understand her reasoning (if her reasons are valid) and think of other ways to include her (maybe she reads something at the ceremony or still gives a speech at the reception).

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

Hmm…that’s really not good sisterly behavior on her part.  Besides having the heart to heart, you might want to get mom & dad’s opinion on the situation.  They’ll probably be able to have some influence over her, and hopefully they’ll be on your side and offer comfort even if she ends up not being a part of the day.

 

Post # 6
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Is there more to the story that we don’t know about? some other History? It seems weird that she would choose a sister in law to be her Maid/Matron of Honor instead of you & that she would just decide that she doesn’t want to be a part of your day for no reason. Enless she really is a selfish; coldhearted B. So sorry she hurt you! Just think maybe there’s a little more….??? Maybe something that wasn’t intentional or that maybe you’ve looked over?

Post # 7
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

Tammy, it sounds to me like there is some bigger issue going on.  Why didn’t she pick you as her maid of honor?  Why doesn’t she even want to be in your wedding?  I suspect there is some deeper issue that you don’t know about.  I think for the sake of your relationship with her, you should SPEAK to her (dont’ do it over email) and just ask what’s up?  Even if she isn’t in the wedding, you still might want to be in her life in some way.  It sounds like there is some reason she is withdrawing from you, and you need to find out what it is before the relationship is severed…

Post # 8
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m sorry that this is happening to you. 🙁

Is it possible there’s another reason she’s dropping out, like maybe she’s upset about something, or money issues? This may be coming from left field and totally off base, but it seems odd that she would be very excited for you and then suddenly drop out by email, a day after seeing you in person. It makes me wonder if something happened that maybe you’re not aware of.

Maybe have a good discussion with her about why it is important to you for her to be there, even if she can’t be in the wedding party. No stress, no extra responsibility other than showing up to support your marriage and have a great time. If she’s still hesitant, maybe there’s another reason behind it that will come out that you can broach and talk to her about. 

Post # 10
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

How is her husband?  Is he very controlling? Do you think he made her have his sister as Maid/Matron of Honor and is making her drop out of your wedding?  I don’t know why but that’s the first thing that came to mind….

Post # 11
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yes; agree; that makes it seem even MORE odd that she would bail. Gotta be something going on. Not just Babies. She could wear a dress while pregnant and still look adorable!! I’d lean on her more.

Post # 14
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I agree.  There has to be a reason. Perhaps knowing you have a daughter, and she wanting one, she is jealous of you????  Is there something about your Fiance or your relationship with him, she might be jealous of? Your career?  Money? 

Your wedding is in 5 months.  The most she could be is 5 months pregnant, if she started trying tomorrow.  That is pretty doable for most gals.  I just wonder if she’s not telling you something.  Not a knock against you.  But you might think things are perfect and not be seeing that she is upset about something.

Good luck.

Post # 15
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wow! this doesn’t make any sense, you should get to the bottom of this and have a talk with her face to face. Gosh she is being a B*TCH excuse my language!

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