My Sister in Law hates me :( Very long emotional rant

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

good grief. Listen, I just wrote a post on how I hate my Mother-In-Law and seriously, if I were you, I would figure out how to take the post down. The gals on the site are rude, not very helpful and you will end up more frustrated. It is not a good thing to be scared to talk to your sister in law. That is what my fiance’s therapist has told him along with other family members because they are all scared to stand up to his mom/ wife. You seem wicked nice, so maybe she is just going through a rough time? Or maybe she feels like everyone likes you since you are sweet and she feels like you are the enemy?  If she tries to guilt you in any way, turn it on her. Say, ” Oh, well I am sorry you feel that way ” or something similar. Do not apologize or if you are like me just say “sorry” when you dont even do anything wrong. I hope it gets better for you !

Post # 4
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2002

I don’t think people on here are rude.

OP – I am sorry you are going through this.  Is there any way you can talk to your husband and have him sit down with his sister (just the two of them) or with his parents to stop this for once and all?  This can really affect your marriage if it continues.  I think, if you can, distance yourself from her as much as possible and stop doing things with her. I completely get that you want her to like you, I would be the same way, but after all your efforts…I think you are just wasting your time.  I know it hurts but surround yourself with good friends, and not this stupid brat.

Post # 5
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Twin Oaks Garden House

Im so sorry to hear this girl! I have somewhat of the same problem but with my soon to be mother in law. I feel she constantly judges me and I really dont like talking to her. My soon to be father in law is AMAZING (they dont really get along and have seperate views about everything). 

 

For me…i just take it day by day. I dont see her everyday which is good and as long as the people who matter love me for me….im ok.

 

How often is your sister in law around?? How much difference in age are you two??

Post # 6
Member
4325 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Is it necessary to be around her? She seems like such a toxic person to be around, and you know what that stems from? Insecurity & jealousy. There is something about you that makes her upset with her position in life, or within the family. 

Unfortunately you cannot do much about her opinion of you, however “you teach people how to treat you” by setting up boundaries. Life is nothing but a series of choices compounded upon eachother every single day. If you choose to be around her, and you choose to accept the way she treats you with no consequences, it’s going to continue, and you’re going to be as miserable as ever.

I say limit your contact with her, and schedule visits with the in laws duriing a time she isn’t around. 

Post # 7
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think you need to just accept she doesn’ t like you and don’t try to be her friend. Just be cordial to her more like an aquaintance than an actual friend and expect her to be exactly the way she has always been to you. Some people are Aholes and there is nothing you can do about it.

It sounds like you spend alot of time with his family. Maybe you need to back off alittle since you are taking this very hard. I’m not saying don’t go to big holidays and birthdays and stuff, but maybe spend time pursuing hobbies and other friends.

 

Post # 8
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have a strict rule for drama:  it’s fine as long as it’s at least 5 feet away from me and does not involve me.  Too much stress and heartache, oh and time also! 

I wouldn’t try to be friends with someone like that.  If I had to be around someone like that (family, school, work, etc).  I would be very nice and polite… kill them with kindness.  But unless they show you differently, know what kind of person they are and keep them out of your head and heart as much as possible.  Don’t offer any personal info (I know she’ll know some being family), don’t give her opinions on anything, be neutral but nice.  Anyone who’s paying attention will know what’s going on and she’ll just look immature and attention seeking.

Post # 9
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

She will continue to bully you until you gain enough confidence to stand up to her. I would start by suggesting she grow the $&@; up! Seriously, she ought to be ashamed of herself. Your fiancé also needs to pull the big bro card and tell her that if she continues to pull this, she will not be a part of HIS life. Right now there are no consequences to her behavior and you are rewarding her behavior by allowing her to be a part of your life. 

Ps. I also don’t think people are rude here. BUT because your SIL is such a snoop you might want to take it down. Don’t give her any more ammo, you know?

Post # 13
Member
14554 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’d just tell her to go F#($*(@ herself then ignore her when you have to see her. And then continue to be super happy go lucky and wonderful to everyone else. Who cares if she likes you or not, she obviously doesnt and seems liek she never will, why waste your time and efforts. 

Post # 14
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@SweetLoveSL:  Well sweets, in that case you’re just going to have to go with the ‘I don’t give a #%*£!’ about her. She sounds like a petulant child. CHILD. Start viewing her and her antics like she was a 7 year old.Every time she reacts like an idiot, freeze frame, remind yourself that she’s 7 and mentally move on because she does NOT deserve your brain space, fear, and I’m kind of doubting if she deserves your compassion right now. Stay strong! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@pinkshoes:  Exactly. So much more succinct. High five! Lol

Post # 16
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Not everyone here is rude and unhelpful, we’re actually a very friendly bunch usually.  OP, it sounds like this woman is just plain mean, as some women can be.  There will always be someone who has an opinion about you that you don’t like…and usually these people won’t know you at ALL as a person, only what they think of you.  Those people don’t matter, they’re ‘fluff’ on the outside of your life.  Those that know you, and love you, THEY matter.  Since you are married to her brother and truly love the rest of your in-laws, you absolutely are stuck with her.  Be cordial and friendly at family functions only, and ignore her the rest of the time.  Eventually everyone will see that SHE is the bad guy and you’ll be the better person.  She will never be a friend to you, because she’s already decided that she doesn’t like you even if you’ve done nothing wrong.  Some women just aren’t nice that way.  

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