(Closed) My sister is pregnant…

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
3244 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Hello trainwreck. . . sorry to hear this. But hey, your support belongs to the baby growing inside. You need to do what you can but don’t get dragged down. Know when to step away for a minute. You have your life. You deserve your life. Help where you can. Love your mother and babysit the hell out of your cousins!! Your mother is going to need some serious breaks!! She sounds like an impressive lady.

Post # 3
239 posts
Helper bee

I say, have this moment for a pity party and then move on. It isn’t changing and staying upset will only cause bitter memories of your engagement. You are still engaged to the one that you love! Yes you are both going through a special time right now. Difference is, yours will be happy and hers bittersweet. It’s sad really. Also even if she is rotten, do a few special things to keep the focus centered on you both. Pics of your ring hand on her belly, depending on her due date, shop together for an outfit for your niece\nephew to wear at the wedding,ect. Try to really be there for each other every step of the way for the engagement and the pregnancy. You guys will regret missing out later. . . also if her bf really is that bad, maybe seeing you and fi and helping with your wedding will help her see that. 🙂 best of luck!

Post # 4
978 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Ugh that sounds like a hot mess. Is she dead set on keeping this child?

Post # 5
860 posts
Busy bee

This seems like an excellent opportunity for an abortion. Have you talked to your sister about her options?

Post # 6
8686 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

SilverWire:  yup I agree and I’ll gladly accept getting e-stoned for agreeing

Post # 7
3065 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

SilverWire:  +1 , or adoption (OP didnt say how far along she was) 

If I was your mom, I would let her babysit your cousins kids for 2 days. She might get a really good idea on how exhausting parenting can be, especially single parenting which might be in her future

Post # 8
5224 posts
Bee Keeper

jillbean1217:  I had a baby at 19 to a total asshat. I was too young, I wasn’t ready, and her father is a waste of space.

It was hard, but I wouldn’t trade my daughter for anything. It is possible this baby will make your Sister grow up and be able to look outside of herself and this relationship. Just support her through this, and try to look forward to being an auntie!

Please don’t assume that her boyfriend got ger pregnant to steal your wedding thunder. That just sounds silly. I know you said it was only about .02%, but please don’t make this situation your wedding vs her baby. Weddings are one day while a baby is a permanent family member. Try to keep that perspective. People can be excited about and celebrate both!


Post # 9
1019 posts
Bumble bee

My reaction really hinges on what your sister’s take on her situation is like. Is the pregnancy wanted right now? I would be upset over this in either your shoes or your sister’s… :/

Edit: Read your reply…sounds like it isn’t wanted, but she knows she couldn’t handle terminating. In that case, just be as supportive as you can.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by  Luvdisc.
Post # 12
5224 posts
Bee Keeper

jillbean1217:  Take the time you need to process it. Your Sister has to understand why people are not doing backflips over the situation. 

Hopefully your Sister will see her cousins situation and learn from it. Being a single Mom is not easy, but it could be a blessing to her the way it was to me. Does she have any skills? Being able to support herself and this baby on her own is important. She doesn’t want to depend on the boyfriend. He sounds like douche that will probably not be any great support financially.

Post # 13
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

jillbean1217:  I totally believe in a woman’s right to choose, but it is 100% not your place to talk with her about terminating the pregnancy. I know some of the PP’s brought up abortion, but if she hasn’t brought it up, it’s off the table. Please don’t go there. She is 19 and an adult. She can make whatever decisions she wants. It sucks for your mom, but she has a mouth. She can say no. I know you’re venting, but what’s done is done. You can either be there for her or not be there for her. However (speaking from experience), being “there” for her and constantly talking smack about her boyfriend or lecturing her on making better decisions does not change the current circumstance. If anything, it would likely just make her pull away from you. Just be there for her the way you would want her to be there for you. Just my opinion. Hope it all works out! 🙂

Post # 15
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’m sorry the situation overall kinda sucks. All you can do hope that she matures by the end of the process, but don’t hold your breath.  She didn’t consult with you on having the child, not really your place to say anything. Not sure why abortion is being brought up and I’m totally pro choice. 

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