Post # 31
I feel for your mother and I feel for the kids that are put in this shitty situation. As far as your cousin there are so many people exactly like her and thats why kids of this generation are so beyond screwed up.
I come from parents who were young when they had me, they had no buisness having a baby in the state they were in. Poor , uneducated, my father had a drug addiction, he was abusive. I grew up in this I have very clear memories of the terrible situation I grew up in.
This is why I will always get pissed off when people have little regard in deciding to become parents. It’s the kids that loose in these situations ALWAYS.
Post # 32
I agree with you. She actually just had her THIRD kid, because she’s an idiot. She has custody of this one, and it’s horrible because I know she’s just going to go down the same road all over again. She likes dressing her kids up in girlie little clothes and painting their nails but that’s about it. No discipline, no schedule, nothing. All I really know how to do in that particular clusterfuck is to love the shit out of those little monsters and do whatever we can to put them in a better situation.
Post # 33
No offense ready stuff like that makes my head hurt Good thing those kids have someone in their lives to give them proper love and guidence, they are going to need it with a mother like that.
Sad that there is women killing themselves trying to have a child and people who can’t even bother to take their birth control between rails get knocked up multiple times. Yikes!
Post # 34
I’m so glad the kids have you and your mom! I know this is tooting my own horn, but reading your cousins story makes me so proud of where I am today. I was 11 and 16 when my parents passed away. Now at 22, I’ve never used drugs, got pregnant or done anything stupid and I will graduate from college in May with 2 Bachelor’s degrees. I know losing a parent is tough, and it drives me up a damn wall when people use that as an excuse to do stupid shit or do nothing with their lives. It also makes me so sad that people wait years or even a lifetime to get pregnant, when fools who have no business having kids, can have them left and right. I can’t wait to have children and give them the childhood that I was robbed of.
Post # 35
Oh my gosh 🙁 My best friend went through a VERY similar situation with her sister.
She lived at home with her alcoholic parents who were on the verge of splitting, she was 18, she was in a bad relationship, she didn’t use birth control. She worked at a fast food chain. They only stayed together for a short bit before he left her and then wanted nothing to do with the kid.
But then, she smartened up. She started working two jobs so she could get a place. She met a nice man who made a lot of money who her son just loved. They moved in together and she continues to work hard. That son is one of the best things that could’ve happened to her.
I hope it all works out the best for your sister and that guy gets the hell out of her life.
There’s nothing you can do but give your support and help out. If you push your opinions on your sister too strongly it’ll just push her away.
Post # 36
I got pregnant at 20 and all I can say is that being a young parent is both very hard and very fulfilling. I know it’s not ideal but it happens. What I can say from your sister’s side is that she needs all the support she can get. Her baby needs even more. Not so much financially but emotionally also. Being pregnant and feeling like people are against you is very lonely and the last thing your sister wants to feel is separation from your family or resentment. Love that baby, trust me he/she will change your life. My parents were very upset but there isn’t anything they would change. Love your sister and her baby, you will have a beautiful wedding either way 🙂
Post # 37
Since your sister hasn’t actually had her first doctor’s appointment, perhaps you, your other sister, or your mother could maybe press the issue of someone attending it with her again. If you think it’d help, you can frame it more as “We/I would like to go with you and share this experience with you” as opposed to asking her if she needs support. That way, someone else in your family is guaranteed to learn the correct information from the doctor, and it also means one of you would be there to be supportive if/when the doctor brings up options about continuing the pregnancy.
Post # 38
When I was losing babies through miscarriages, a friend of a friend connected me with a woman who wanted to find an adoptive home for a not quite born baby.
I can tell you without any question at all that a girl in your sister’s situation can become the queen of someone’s world by working with an agency to place her baby in an eagerly awaiting home.
Although she didn’t choose us, DH and I were happy that she wanted the best for her baby.
This is a mitzvah to both families. Many parents will be very happy for the birth mother to remain in contact, and your sister can have the best of possible circumstances in the face of such a situation.
At the very least, please be sure that she gets information about such an option.
Post # 39
of course! If you need someone to talk to you can pm me!