Post # 1
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
Anon for obvious reasons.
Like the title states, my sister is pregnant and I’m not happy about it. I know it’s her life and she can do as she pleases. I just wish she was more responsible and made better choices.
Shes had a hard road the past few years. She’s unstable; she has a fairytale view of parenting. She’s very dependent on others and I know she’ll project all this onto her child. She’s the type of woman to get pregnant to have something new to post on social media.
I’m not going to hold anything against the child; it’s not their fault. I feel sad more than anything. My sister never really had any goals and she always felt “lesser than.” She’s not stable (financially or otherwise) and I’m just worried about it all.
Can provide more details if needed. I just wanted to vent.
Post # 2
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
No advice except to look forward to being the awesome aunt. Hopefully your sister will make some changes in her life and end up being an awesome mom, too.
Post # 3
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
You can’t change your sister; the best thing to do is try not to let this get to you and support the child however you can, even if that just means being around to listen to him/her in the future and being a stable presence in his/her life.
Post # 4
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
Well that’s not very nice to say about your sister….I’d be excited for her! People change, but don’t assume what kind of mother she will be or that she is just getting pregnant to post something on social media…just focus on being happy for her and your future niece or nephew.
Post # 5
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
I think that being upset will not make the situation any better, if your sister is old enough to get pregnant then you just need to let her get on with her life. Just support her the best you can and hopefully this will set her on a better track! I get the worrying, but there isn’t much you can do other than be there for her and help her in any way you can.
Post # 6
Member
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
why would you ever be unhappy about someone else pregnancy?
the only time that appropriate is if you have been hurt by loss, to think badly of such a happy thing because of your PERSONAL views of someone is just horrible
Post # 7
Member
9561 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
i get where you’re coming from. It’s hard not to be upset when someone you feel responsible for makes decisions you think are bad ones. Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is support her and her baby. *hugs* hope you feel better soon.
Post # 8
Member
1587 posts
Bumble bee
Totally understand where you’re coming from. It’s hard to watch someone we’re close to be wreckless and know that an innocent new life is going to suffer because your sister is irresponsible. And it doesn’t help that the entire world thinks you should be happy about pregnancies regardless of their circumstances. Nothing you’ve said here sounds wrong; it sounds like you’ve watched your sister make poor decisions and are just worried about how the child is going to be affected. That IS responsible. That is compassionate. The kid will be lucky to have you in his or her life!
Post # 9
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
Just to add… I’m upset but would NEVER verbalize this to her. I understand my feelings are horrible, that’s why I’m anon. I would never be openly negative toward her or the child. I talked to some friends and they also mentioned I should look forward to being an aunt and be a stable role model for the child. That’s what I plan to do!
Post # 10
Member
1587 posts
Bumble bee
pebblexox: “Old enough to get pregnant” is like 12 years old… I really think that’s a poor metric for deciding if someone is capable of making independent life choices. That’s outside the scope of this conversation, and I don’t want to derail this thread, but it’s just a really narrow and illogical view honestly.
Post # 11
Member
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Are your parents available to help her? A child will probably give her a swift kick of reality.
Post # 12
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
wonderlily: I’m assuming the sister was old enough to make that choice, I worded it wrong. I’m assuming from reading the post she is an adult, that is all I meant by it.
Post # 13
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
anon4lyfe: Your feelings are NOT horrible…it saddens me when unstable people who can’t financially take care of children have children.Nothing wrong with being disappointed that she’s gotten herself into a tough situation. When my 15 year old cousin got pregnant, how the hell would I be happy?She didn’t even finish high school yet….has nothing to do with how I would feel about the child itself which is a separate set of emotions from the reality. But yes, nothing can be done about it now except to give her your undying support as much as you can practically do.
Post # 14
Member
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
pebblexox: I have to agree with wonderlily. My cousin was pregnant at 13 and was in no way capable to take care of the child financially or emotionally
wonderlily:
Post # 15
Member
1170 posts
Bumble bee
btob17: A pregnancy is not always a happy thing.
Member