(Closed) My sister is upset that she’s not my MOH, what to do?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

Talk to your sister and explain the reasons you didnt ask her to be Maid/Matron of Honor. There is no reason you can’t have 2 maids of honor, if thats what you want.

Post # 5
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Can you honor your sister in another way? Special toast? Reading during the ceremony? Something to let her know how important she is to you.

Post # 6
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@truefrommetoyou:  Ya but doing laundry and knowing how to cook doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve to be your Maid/Matron of Honor. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, my own sister is not my Maid/Matron of Honor either for a whole list of reasons, but mainly that we just aren’t close. It sounds like you two were very close at one time.

I think you should sit down and talk to your sister and explain everything, and listen to her side. Being a Maid/Matron of Honor can be time consuming and expensive, both of which can be tough for an 18 year old student. Maybe she doesn’t realizes the repsonsibilities that come with the title.

And regarding the 3rd bridesmaid, I don’t think its a big deal. You could always talk to her privately and explain what happened, but it doesn’t sound like she is very interestd anyways.

It’s not like the girls walk around wearing signs that say “I’m a MOH!” or “I’m just a lousy bridesmaid”. Guests don’t really pay attention to that kind of stuff. It’s really just a title that the bride gives out.

Post # 7
Member
46329 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sit  down and talk with her. We all have our feelings hurt in life sometimes, but that doesn’t means someone else has to change their plans because of it.

We don’t always get our way in life and we all need to learn that lesson at some time.

Time to help her grow up even more.

Post # 9
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I had a very similar problem! I had first nominated my little sister as Maid/Matron of Honor out of sense of obligation, but I had to switch that to someone else as I really needed a mature woman to handle the duties. (other reasons too, her blatant immaturity being one) Just explain to her that its not a rank of how much you love each of them, just that someone more your age knows what to expect and has better damage control capabilities and stress management skills. Seriously it will be hard, but on that day it really is about you and what works best.

Post # 10
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You can do whatever you want! All four of my sisters are in my wedding, and I consider them all my Maids of Honor, I asked them each individually while explaining to them I’m not playing a favorites game, I love them all so much and couldn’t see my wedding with out all of them being my Maid’s of Honor.

Post # 11
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@truefrommetoyou:  I think lindsay83 makes a good point in that as shiny as the Maid/Matron of Honor title is, it comes with tasks that are necessary to carry out for the wedding. What with your sister just starting school, etc., you knew it would be the healthier decision for everyone if you chose your friend to handle those tasks as opposed to burdening your sister who is starting to navigate her life in school. Still, you can find a way to honor her with a reading. 

Post # 12
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m having my sister as my maid of honour but having my best friend do a reading during our ceremony. 

Maybe you could split the maid of honour duties between them both? or give them completely different jobs to help you out…. 

You can get your Groom to bring your sisters name into his speech to thank her for her help?!!… 

Personally I think there should be one Maid of Honour but if you feel you want two to make life easy then have two…. 

Either way they will both be there for you on the day xx

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