(Closed) My sister is wearing an ivory wedding dress to my wedding

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Is it appropriate for my bridesmaid to wear a wedding dress to my wedding?

    No

    Yes

    WATF

  • Post # 2
    Member
    1074 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    View original reply
    jenniewrennie :  I’m sorry bee. I wouldn’t be okay with this either. Not quite sure what your mum is thinking but you’re the bride! Your feelings should have come first here. Can the dress be exchanged?

    Post # 3
    Member
    1005 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    Omg. Usually I’m really lax about guest attire, but it’s an actual wedding dress?  No way.  Put your foot down.

    Post # 4
    Member
    30388 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    jenniewrennie :  Your sister is young, and I presume ignorant about etiquette. Your mum however is being ridiculous. She should know better.

    Post # 5
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    This is in such shockingly bad taste that I’m having trouble believing that it’s real. Sorry bee, that’s just awful! What an absurd problem to have to face. Hold your ground and say no, anyone reasonable will side with you.

    Post # 6
    Member
    972 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2020

    This is definitely over the top. It’s great that you were understanding of wearing a sentimental wedding dress, but to now go out and buy an actual wedding dress? Whaaaaaaaaat?! And it’s not like she’s going to be some weird guest people will side-eye. She’s in your party!

    I would try and reason again with your mom, playing the whole thing as comical before it blows up too big. Something like, “Mom. You can’t be serious. No, she can not wear a new wedding dress to my wedding! People will think she’s crazy!” Play it off like you’re looking out for her, more than yourself, and maybe she’ll see reason.

    I’m sorry you’re going through this! If it’s any consolation, I promise no one will forget who the bride is. But I still think you have a right to say no!

    Post # 7
    Member
    388 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    jenniewrennie :  This is outrageous. Wtf??!!! I’m sorry but do they hate you or something?? I’ve never heard of anything like this before. It’s like deliberately sabotaging you and going against your wishes. I’d totally be upset, as you are.

    Maybe if you try gently talking to your sister and explaining to her how much this hurts you, she might change her mind . Tell her she has plenty of time to shine ahead, it’s her prom and future wedding yet to come, when she can be the star and wear whatever she wants. This is your time. But talk to her as lovingly and kindly as possible, because teenagers tend to be so obstinate and do the exact opposite  of what they’re asked. I don’t know her, but that’s usually the case. 

    Good luck, bee, let us know how it goes…

    Post # 7
    Member
    1025 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Stand your ground. She finds something else to wear that is not an actual bridal gown, or she can forfeit her place as bridesmaid in the wedding. Have you talked to your sister at all? Does she understand general wedding dress etiquette/how you feel? 

    Post # 8
    Member
    2544 posts
    Sugar bee

    This is one of the most absurd things I’ve heard on here (and a lot of crazy bridesmaid s*** goes down). Honestly if they ask any other human in the world or consult the internet for even 35 seconds they’re going to see that this is completely unheard of and insanely rude. Put your foot down. Try to pull up some etiquette information as well as explain your point of view. If they actually insist on doing it, just be consoled that everyone at the wedding is going to think your sister and mother are clinically insane and that you’re an absolute angel for allowing such madness. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    Sigh.  I feel for you!  It’s completely reasonable and expected that only the bride gets to a wear a wedding dress.  I’d draw a line on this as well.

    Post # 10
    Member
    380 posts
    Helper bee

    What business does a 14 year old have wearing a wedding dress? This is so strange. And your moms reaction of “tough, that’s what she’s wearing”??? They seem off their rockers for sure. It’s YOUR wedding. Stand your ground and if she refuses to find something else to wear, she can come as a guest and not be part of the wedding party. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Your mother is dressing your 14 year old sister up as a bride at a wedding?

    That’s weird and creepy. 

    Do not feel outdone; as a guest i would think the tween playing dress-up was just bizarre and kind of icky.

    But here’s a thought, if this isnt the hill you want to die on but you want to make a point. The only person other than the bride who can  wear white at a wedding is the young flower girl. Perhaps your sister’s role needs to be reviewed…

    Post # 13
    Member
    4231 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Is your mom normally the type to stir up shit then tell you you’re over reacting by any chance? Either way, gross behaviour. I don’t know what your relationship with your sister is like but I would try to talk to her about it if she’s reasonable at all. If there’s no reasoning with them, all you can do is sit back and let her embarrass herself I guess. At the end of the day it’s about you and your husband and no dress can detract from that. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1116 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would have lost my shit. Like Jules said, your mom should absolutely know better.

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