Post # 1
I’m 37 and our wedding is 3 weeks away. My 14 year old half-sister and chief bridesmaid wanted to wear my mum’s wedding dress (from when she married my stepdad). Although it was ivory it was a simple silk gown and quite plain. Given its sentimental value I was happy with this as my dress is a full on tulle princess A line affair. My 3 adult bridesmaids are wearing dusky pink bridesmaid dresses.
Yesterday, my mum told me my sister no longer fits in this dress and was understandably upset. My mum took her to Monsoon unbeknownst to me and bought her an IVORY LACE WEDDING DRESS with a crystal belt. Given my sister is slimmer, more beautiful and wearing gysophilia in her hair, I’m very upset that she’s now going to look like a bride and wear an actual wedding dress. When I expressed my concern, my mum said tough, that’s what she’s wearing. I’m upset I wasn’t even consulted. I just wanted to feel beautiful for one day and worry that if I insist my sister doesn’t wear this dress, they’ll end up not coming to the wedding. A compromise is asking her to wear a dusky pink wrap to coordinate her with my other bridesmaids. Thank you for advising while I weep at my desk!
Post # 2
I’m sorry bee. I wouldn’t be okay with this either. Not quite sure what your mum is thinking but you’re the bride! Your feelings should have come first here. Can the dress be exchanged?
Post # 3
Omg. Usually I’m really lax about guest attire, but it’s an actual wedding dress? No way. Put your foot down.
Post # 4
Your sister is young, and I presume ignorant about etiquette. Your mum however is being ridiculous. She should know better.
Post # 5
This is in such shockingly bad taste that I’m having trouble believing that it’s real. Sorry bee, that’s just awful! What an absurd problem to have to face. Hold your ground and say no, anyone reasonable will side with you.
Post # 6
This is definitely over the top. It’s great that you were understanding of wearing a sentimental wedding dress, but to now go out and buy an actual wedding dress? Whaaaaaaaaat?! And it’s not like she’s going to be some weird guest people will side-eye. She’s in your party!
I would try and reason again with your mom, playing the whole thing as comical before it blows up too big. Something like, “Mom. You can’t be serious. No, she can not wear a new wedding dress to my wedding! People will think she’s crazy!” Play it off like you’re looking out for her, more than yourself, and maybe she’ll see reason.
I’m sorry you’re going through this! If it’s any consolation, I promise no one will forget who the bride is. But I still think you have a right to say no!
Post # 7
This is outrageous. Wtf??!!! I’m sorry but do they hate you or something?? I’ve never heard of anything like this before. It’s like deliberately sabotaging you and going against your wishes. I’d totally be upset, as you are.
Maybe if you try gently talking to your sister and explaining to her how much this hurts you, she might change her mind . Tell her she has plenty of time to shine ahead, it’s her prom and future wedding yet to come, when she can be the star and wear whatever she wants. This is your time. But talk to her as lovingly and kindly as possible, because teenagers tend to be so obstinate and do the exact opposite of what they’re asked. I don’t know her, but that’s usually the case.
Good luck, bee, let us know how it goes…
Post # 7
Stand your ground. She finds something else to wear that is not an actual bridal gown, or she can forfeit her place as bridesmaid in the wedding. Have you talked to your sister at all? Does she understand general wedding dress etiquette/how you feel?
Post # 8
This is one of the most absurd things I’ve heard on here (and a lot of crazy bridesmaid s*** goes down). Honestly if they ask any other human in the world or consult the internet for even 35 seconds they’re going to see that this is completely unheard of and insanely rude. Put your foot down. Try to pull up some etiquette information as well as explain your point of view. If they actually insist on doing it, just be consoled that everyone at the wedding is going to think your sister and mother are clinically insane and that you’re an absolute angel for allowing such madness.
Post # 9
Sigh. I feel for you! It’s completely reasonable and expected that only the bride gets to a wear a wedding dress. I’d draw a line on this as well.
Post # 10
What business does a 14 year old have wearing a wedding dress? This is so strange. And your moms reaction of “tough, that’s what she’s wearing”??? They seem off their rockers for sure. It’s YOUR wedding. Stand your ground and if she refuses to find something else to wear, she can come as a guest and not be part of the wedding party.
Post # 12
Your mother is dressing your 14 year old sister up as a bride at a wedding?
That’s weird and creepy.
Do not feel outdone; as a guest i would think the tween playing dress-up was just bizarre and kind of icky.
But here’s a thought, if this isnt the hill you want to die on but you want to make a point. The only person other than the bride who can wear white at a wedding is the young flower girl. Perhaps your sister’s role needs to be reviewed…
Post # 13
Is your mom normally the type to stir up shit then tell you you’re over reacting by any chance? Either way, gross behaviour. I don’t know what your relationship with your sister is like but I would try to talk to her about it if she’s reasonable at all. If there’s no reasoning with them, all you can do is sit back and let her embarrass herself I guess. At the end of the day it’s about you and your husband and no dress can detract from that.
Post # 14
I would have lost my shit. Like Jules said, your mom should absolutely know better.