My sister is wearing an ivory wedding dress to my wedding

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Is it appropriate for my bridesmaid to wear a wedding dress to my wedding?
    No : (399 votes)
    53 %
    Yes : (21 votes)
    3 %
    WATF : (326 votes)
    44 %
  • Post # 151
    Member
    150 posts
    Blushing bee

    jenniewrennie :  I feel bad for your little sister she is only 14 so she won’t understand how really unsuitable this dress.

    I worry that she’ll look back in 10-15 years and be very embarrassed that she wore a wedding dress to her big sisters wedding! She’ll realise by then how inappropriate it is.

    Also, i’m sure she would want the first time she wore a wedding dress to be to her own wedding!

    I would maybe put it to your mum that way, that your sister should change the dress for her sake, not just yours!

    Post # 152
    Member
    365 posts
    Helper bee

    Deal w the continued crazy plan: get that dress dyed and shortened to knee-length and make her flowers the same as other bridesmaids.

    Post # 153
    Member
    1979 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    i dont know how you have been so nice through all of this. I would have broken by now and told my mother to “knock it off and sit down”. Your sister is 15 from what everyone is responding, which is young but not that young to pull her a side and maybe ask her to help you out of this situation. Being that young i doubt she cares less what she wears. Maybe if she speaks up your mother will finally back off. 

    after further reading, i dont understand why your younger sister wanted to wear your moms old wedding dress, thats just odd and i have to wonder if your mom is the one who pushed her to that decision in the first place. 

    the dress posted isnt the most flattering tbh. And depending on whos at your wedding and how many people, id hate to see you put your sister through ridicule at your own wedding all night. And it wouldnt shock me if people side eye and probably talk behind your guys back for letting her wear white. 

    your in a sticky situation. I feel like an option would be for you to buy the bridesmaid dress for your sister or something in a similar color and force her to wear it, your mom cant complain about the cost because well, she didnt purchase it. I only mention this if you have the funds to do so.  Or get the dress dyed like others mentioned.

    as far as flowers, im impartial simply because all my birdesmaids had the same bouquet as mine but in a smaller version. I dont think a lot of people will notice shes carrying the same bouquet as you since she technically is the maid of honor. 

    Post # 154
    Member
    1413 posts
    Bumble bee

    Op- can you just buy a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress in her size and have it there morning of? And once mother dearest is out of the way, make her change??

    Post # 155
    Member
    168 posts
    Blushing bee

    I can’t believe this is a thing. OP must be the nicest and most mature bride in the world. It’s incredible how your mom can actually call you a bridezilla when she’s the one with the insane behavior.

    Post # 156
    Member
    223 posts
    Helper bee

    This is insanely riddiculous.  I tend to pick my battles when it comes to other people, but this is something I would actually put my foot down about. 

    Post # 157
    Member
    1362 posts
    Bumble bee

    After reading your update, your mom’s persistence really is just baffling. Besides being totally inappropriate, they REALLY couldn’t find one dress that she liked? There are thousands of bridesmaid dresses (any dress, really) that looks better than the bridal gown she chose. 

    I’m sorry bee. My heart breaks for you because of how horrible this situation is. My mom too is a narcissis and can be very ugly, but this definitely takes the cake. 

    Post # 158
    Member
    1664 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I feel like everybody else is more angry about this than OP. 

    OP, put on your big girl undies and tell your mom to knock this shit off! She knows exactly what she’s doing and you are a grown ass women, so tell her to stop it! Your wedding day will be much happier without them there. 

    Post # 159
    Member
    293 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN DAMMIT.

    I am so mad for you. Buy your sister a nice blush bridesmaid gown and call your mom’s bluff. If she actually won’t attend the wedding it just proves how much of a f*cking nutbag she is. 

    AUGHHHHHSDFASKJDFEALSDKFJDLK

    Post # 160
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee

    jenniewrennie :  when is your wedding? I’d really like to know the outcome of all of this!

    Post # 161
    Member
    9607 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2016

    if she can pick off the crystals.. why not just dye the dress?

    oh and I’d totally change her bouq. to match the other bridesmaids. if only so she looks less like a mini version of you… like she were on backup or something. 

    Post # 162
    Member
    297 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    OP – this is actually insane! What the actual fuck is going on in your Mum’s head? The staff in Monsoon must have been wondering what on earth was going on, plus all the other customers (not sure how prolific Monsoon is outside of the UK but if anyone isn’t familiar it’s a regular shop which sells nice clothes and also does off the peg wedding dresses).

    I can’t imagine this is your sister somehow, at 14 she’s old enough to know it’s weird and surely she will feel horribly self-conscious knowing so many people will be looking at her and wondering what on earth she’s wearing?

    It’s very odd that your mother is preventing you from speaking to her… leads me even more to think this is all Mum’s idea, and not hers. Do you live close enough that you could wait outside her school at finishing time so that you can speak to her directly? (obviously do this in a non-creepy way!)

    Post # 163
    Member
    482 posts
    Helper bee

    gwenchilada :  Haha, when scrolling through all the comments I accidentally misread your post as:

    “POOT YOUR FOOT DOWN DOORMAT”,

    And I was like, what? Did she really say that? So I scrolled up and, no, ofc you didn’t, that was probably just what my brain was thinking.. lol.

    ___

     

    No, honestly, I feel so, sooo bad for you OP, having to deal with this crazyness. Cause that’s what it is.

    I would probably give up too and just let them embarras themselves. I get tired just reading this. This should be a happy time for you! Don’t let your mothers games get to you. Enjoy your day as it will be amazing, no matter what anyone else is wearing. <3

    Post # 164
    Member
    491 posts
    Helper bee

    bibilicious :  Exactly, if they embarrass themselves it will be on them, not OP.  Every wedding needs at least one guest doing something funny/weird, otherwise what will people talk about on the ride home. 

    Post # 165
    Member
    3839 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    The fact that they can’t return the dress is their problem, but I also know it can be very hard to take a stand against family. Is she getting ready with you? You could have a blush dress ready and try to explain to get how inappropriate this is. But maybe your mum controls that to. You’re seriously never allowed to take your sister out or anything? That’s so sad for her! If you decide the wedding dress stays then please: add a blush sash, ditch the jacket (I know you want her to look worse but it just looks more weird and bridal. Don’t worry, you’re the bride and she’s14 she won’t upstage you) and definitely give her the same flowers as the BMs. A mini wedding dress and a mini bridal bouquet is way too weird. Shortening the dress will help too. 

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