- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
I don’t think he’s proposed. I think they just talked about it – but there’s no way of knowing if that conversation was initiated by mine and my fiance’s engagement or whether they had been talking about it before that and we ‘beat them to it – in which case they’d be totally justified. I’d like to assume the latter.
She wrote back saying that she doesn’t care much for the planning and dress and typical things, she wouldn’t even bother if she didn’t think her boyfriend’s family would take issue with them having children before getting married. It seems her primary motivator here is that she feels that at 32 she has no more time and needs to start procreating asap (let’s not delve in to all the feelings I have regarding her bringing up children, because its a whole other ball game).
I’m happy with where we’ve left things. She thanked me for my thoughts and didn’t seem to find my email passive aggressive or rude, which I was pretty sure she wouldn’t; she just answered my concerns about her missing out on the wedding planning by saying she didn’t care for it. She also said she’s debating going to Toronto since most of her BF’s family is there. Not a word of mention of my uncle in her email, and most of it about flying to Toronto, so I am pretty sure that she isn’t actually going to go through with getting married 4 days after me and that this was, like many bees correctly noted, just a grab for attention and drama. I gave it to her initially, but in my email telling her I didn’t mind I think I took away her power and the joy it brought her, so she settled down.
Anyway – I’m over it. She can do whatever she wants, you guys helped me see that I shouldn’t be surprised when she behaves in a manner that is completely in line with her behaviour thus far.
Thanks for sharing all your personal stories that hit close to home. I know it’s tough dealing with someone who you can’t get through to, but some times you have to just let it go.