(Closed) My sister just got engaged and picked a date two weeks after mine!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
4849 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

is there a way you can move your sooner? Then… don’t say anything until invites go out. I would say keep all of your wedding details completely secret from her.

IMO, that’s a shitty move on her part. 

Post # 33
Member
958 posts
Busy bee

Destination wedding. Seriously! You seem like you would be so much less stressed without the crazy family drama.

Post # 34
Member
2654 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

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@taylorbee:  I agree! Regardless of what he has done or what happened in the past, she is (or will be ) his family. It would be unfair to expect her to come to the wedding without him. You need to think about where you expect/hope your relationship with your sister to go after this. It really sucks but that is the reality.

Also, it’s crazy that her wedding is two weeks after yours. I wasn’t even back from my honeymoon two weeks after mine. My friend wanted to get marriedas couple of weeks after mine but chose not to because she wantedtheir friend to be there. Is she doing this to get back at you??

Post # 36
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@shopaholic85: Personally, I would go for the destination wedding – but I’ve never dreamed about a big wedding, so I understand that it might feel like a poor solution to anyone that have dreamt that dream.

However, I guess you want family/friends to attend whatever ceremony you end up with, so I think you should make up your mind ASAP and make sure to get out your Save-The-Date Cards as soon as possible!

Post # 37
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@shopaholic85:  It is sad when family can’t get along, but you’re right that she made the choice to be with this guy, and that losing the relationship you two had is a consequence of that choice. From what you described in your other post it sounds like this guy is not someone I would want at my wedding either. If he has a pattern of trying to molest children or something similar to that, then I would say that if your sister wants to be with someone like that then she’s probably not the person you thought she was and probably not someone I would want to be around either. 

If she did copy your ideas, it would just make her look bad since her wedding would happen AFTER yours and it would be obvious she copied you. However, if you’re worried about her copying your ideas, I wouldn’t share them with her. Do you have any female friends you can talk to about the wedding? If not, then all of us on weddingbee will be excited about your ideas. 🙂 

I’d also say that you should tell any shared relatives or friends that you want at the wedding that you really want them at your wedding early on to improve the odds that they will make it to yours. 

Post # 38
Member
9055 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@shopaholic85:  I might be confused but if they aren’t coming to your wedding and you I presume aren’t going to their wedding since you and your Fiance hate her husband to be what is the big deal?

Are you afraid that because of the banning of her Fiance from your wedding your relatives are going to choose her wedding over your wedding? Because if that is the case then I say you just have to face the consequences of your actions.

Post # 39
Member
7369 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Stop focusing on your sister and live your life. You are giving over power to them. They aren’t going to change. Accept them for for who they are, lower your expectations and change how you react to their bullshit. The only person you can control is you and no one else.

Post # 40
Member
1782 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Wouldn’t it be the kicker if you and your husband were on your honeymoon at that time!!!!! Ah, the karma! I would totally set up your honeymoon for that week. Innocent 

Post # 41
Member
1782 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@saffy:  Agree 100%

Post # 42
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would be upset. But it is a plus that she chose to do it after you. I know someone who’s cousin chose a week before and everyone blamed the second wedding saying why would she pick a week later, but she chose it first. Families generally aren’t happy about having weddings so close together. I know people say you get one day and she didn’t chose your day, but I think it’s distasteful what she did. 

Maybe you can tell her to move it one week, that way it’s three weeks away. I wouldn;t see an issue with that. 

I would tell her that you’ll be on your honeymoon that week and that you wouldn’t be able to make it. But make sure she doesn’t reschedule it the week before. 

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