(Closed) My sister just quit as MoH… I don't know what to do…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
275 posts
Helper bee

WHEW! Sounds like she has a bug up her bottom for sure. Do you think she might have a touch of Postpartum? She doesn’t sound happy much. What did your mom say about what went down today? Sounds like someone needs to sit your sister down and bring her back to reality.

Post # 4
8883 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Oh wow, I’m so sorry this happened to you.

I think you’ve been very reasonable and patient with her. I would not have been so nice and probably blown up at her a long time ago.  Has your mother done anything to stand up for you?  I think she needs to step in and talk to her.

This is YOUR wedding, not hers. Her opinions on your wedding decor and everything else are irrelevant (and ridiculous IMHO). She needs to get off her high horse.

Post # 5
32 posts

Yikes. Kinda reminds me of MY sister at times. She is being incredibly rude, honestly. Sorry this has happened to you. 🙁

Post # 6
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Hmm this is a hard one, if it was a friend I’d say that you should give her space and find another MoH, cause its your sister its a lot more tricky. I would call her and organise a meeting with you, her and your mother. As everything has already blown up I would now not worry about upsetting her, rather I would say that you love her, you want her to be a MoH, but only under the following conditions: 

  • That she pulls her head in and stops making your wedding all about her
  • That you never wanted a big shower so she needs to stop throwing that in your face
  • That your colours are Royal Blue and Gold and that she will need to return the navy dress and purchase a royal blue dress
  • That as your made of honour she should want to help a little with the wedding decor etc as i am sure you did for her

If she is not willing to accomodate your wishes, that you will find another MoH and that will be the end of it.

Post # 7
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Well depending on the relationship you feel you have with your sister and how soon your wedding is, maybe someone else can fill in?

Sisters are typically a pain the butt but she sounds downright unreasonable and , IMO, disrespectful.  

Post # 8
1992 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@hiddenbee:  hmmm yeah I agree with PP that it seems like postpartum insanity has creeped in on her and she seems like the prideful type to not acknowledge it or get the proper help for it… instead she continues to lash out at the ones she loves and possibly resents you and everyone else who does NOT have a baby (like what you said) and perhaps she’s super overwhelmed and is dying for support and help but isn’t humble enough to ask?

I know those are a lot of assumptions but perhaps you could be the bigger person & call her up and ask whats really going on… bring your mom too if you’d like but you really want it to be constructive and non-threatening.

Always remember – You are FAMILY. This will be fixed and will need to be addressed so that you guys can move on and heal because family is FOREVER 🙂

Post # 10
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am so sorry this all has happened. I’m an older sister with a problematic situation with my little sister/MOH (I’m her Maid/Matron of Honor too, she’s getting married a few weeks before I am), so I can empathize more than I can help. All I can say is it was tremendously hard for me to wrap my mind around my “baby sister” (she’s twenty-six!) getting married, so that plus a baby must be hard to deal with, which you say, but that’ no excuse. Maybe not being Maid/Matron of Honor will help ease osme of the pressure and everything will go a little easier? Hugs either way.

Post # 11
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Also, I see PPs are bringing up PPD, which I hadn’t brought in to consideration– good point!

Post # 12
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I was thinking PPD too. Maybe have a talk with her about what’s going on with her and leave the wedding convo until after. If she has PPD the last thing on her mind is the wedding, unfortunately. However, it’s important to talk with her.

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