Post # 1
I;ve been a little bit sad these pat two days because I found out that my sister ( who was around 12 weeks pregnant) lost the baby. this is actually her fourth loss in a span of about 10 years. She has a 2 and a half year old son who was born healthy and is doing well, but apparently it’s really hard for her to stay pregnant. She’s now in her late 30s and really really wants another child.
We were all SUPER excited about this pregnancy because my brother’s wife is due in December and the babies would have been very close in age.
I’m a little bit worried about her because she’s always been the strong and stable sibling (being the oldest one), and whenever these things have happened she just says ” oh well, I’m ok, no big deal”. I don’t think she let’s us know how she really feels and how it has affected her. She lives very far away from any relative at all, and I’m sad that she has to go through this alone.
Anyway, i can only pray that she gets the chance to someday have another child, even if it’s through adoption. And I can’t even imagine how it feels to have lost four babies.
Have any of you bees lost a baby? How did it feel?
Post # 3
I’ve never been pregnant or lost a baby, but my Mom had multiple miscarriages and I’ve heard the pain in her voice when she talks about them. I don’t have any advice or experience to offer, but I will keep your sister in my thoughts and offer my condolences.
Post # 4
@merenguito: I’m so sorry! My mother-in-law went through this several times before her first child and then between her first and second, and it was incredibly hard on her.
Post # 5
@merenguito: I am so sorry your sister lost her baby yet again. Granted I am not a kid person and me and my Fiance aren’t having any, I know how painful a loss can be (well not personally). Guess it is better to say I know some people who have lost theirs. Maybe your sister should find a infertility specialist, even though she has no problem getting pregnant they may be ale to help her carry the baby to term or close to it. Or maybe a high-risk pregnancy specialist. She may of already tried these, but just thought I would suggest some options. I know sometimes a woman can produce a toxin that is released when they are pregnant, and it destroys the placenta and sometimes some doctors can not catch this as the miscarriage has already happened. I hope everything works out.
Post # 6
@merenguito: Terrible. Horrible. I lost my baby at 10 weeks. I didn’t want to speak to anyone. I spent the following 3 days sobbing, off and on, at home, on my couch. The only person I wanted to talk to was my husband, but even then a lot of the time I couldn’t get out the words.
It is an absolute, overwhelming & consuming grief and a feeling that things just aren’t fair.
I’m not sure how your sister feels, but I doubt that she is really “just ok” with everything. By 12 weeks, she had already connected with the baby and was certainly planning for the future. As this was not her first loss, she was probably very cautious with her feelings, but it is still painful.
The best thing to do is to just be there for her. Also, it will be very difficult for the baby’s due date to come and go, so maybe try to remember that date. Also, since your brother’s wife is due about the same time, the birth of that child might remind her of what she lost, or of what she doesn’t have. So just remember that– and offer to be there for her when your brother announces the birth and everyone is talking about the baby. She might feel like HER baby has been forgotten.
I’m so sorry to hear this.
Post # 7
I’m so sorry for your sister. I’ve never lost a baby,but I can only imagine the pain she feels, especially with the other baby being close in age to hers. She’s going to have to think of it each time she sees the other child. 🙁 Just ask her is she needs to talk. That’s the only advice I have. I hope she feels better soon.
Post # 8
Just wanted to say I’m so sorry for your sister’s loss. A friend of mine recently miscarried and I know from what she’s been telling me how difficult it is. Hugs to you and her!
Post # 9
Thanks for the support gals! I’m waiting a little before calling her to have a long chat. I’ll try to give her the support she needs!
Post # 10
I am so sorry for your sister’s loss! I can’t imagine what she must be feeling, but I remember when my mom had a miscarriage and she would just sit and bawl. 🙁
Post # 11
I am so very sorry your sister is going through this. 🙁 I lost a baby at 9 weeks earlier this year. It was one of the hardest things I have EVER been through in my entire life.
I cannot even put into words how I felt. I couldn’t get out of bed & if I did I just laid on the couch, for a week. I hardly ate, anything at all. I didn’t see anyone other than my husband. The only person I talked to for a week & a half was my mom & that was over the phone. I couldn’t go past the baby stuff in stores for a long, long time. I still think about it till this day when I do. My husband was the only thing that got me through that. I know different people handle things in different ways. With me I just wanted to be alone (other than my husband) so I could just cry everything out. I didn’t want to talk to anyone not even on the phone. I just wanted to cry it out.
It is still sad to think about. But it really does get better with time. At first I didn’t think it would. Even after 4-5 months. But I’m better now. My husband & I are planning to try again soon. 🙂
I really hope your sister can have another baby some day. <3
Post # 12
@merenguito: Never lost a baby or been pregnant, but I wil say a prayer for your sisters strength. She probably says that to remain strong, but this has to be difficult for her. Try and support your sister thorugh this very tough situation…especially since the other sister in law is still pregnant and will have hers and they were suppose to be closse together in age… pray for your sisters strength and that she can have the baby she desires soon.
Post # 13
I’m so sorry for your sister’s loss. I have not experienced this but I can only imagine all of the hurt that she must be feeling. Be there for her as much as you can and she will hopefully pull through once again.
Post # 14
I’m so sorry for your sister’s loss! I am one of the many bees who has had a m/c and I can not imagine the pain of having to go through that experience 4 times! Here is a thread that you can read through for more of our stories that may give some insight into how your sister is feeling:
TTC After Miscarriage