(Closed) My sister returned her bridesmaid dress and bought a different one.

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Oh goodness, she is way out of line here, you went out of your way to accommodate her and she responds with THIS?!  No way, you’re the one getting married, you get to make this demand (which isn’t even a demand at all…)

Post # 18
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Um yea… tell her to check herself and put the dang J.Crew dress on! She doesn’t get that much control. It was a certain store and a certain material/color. I’m not sure where the misunderstanding was, but tell her h no! 🙂

Post # 19
2738 posts
Sugar bee

Ugh, this reminds me of my BMs. I thought I was being nice by going to JCrew and ordering dresses in the clearance racks that at most were $59. As of today, two have dresses and have hinted at the ‘oh so classic look but not good for a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress’ and the last doesn’t have her dress. I gave them a range of colors and I am so mad. I should have been a bit more firm and told them ‘Buy this’. I don’t know what to tell you because I am in the same boat. My sister didn’t go out and buy another dresss but she doesn’t want to do any alterations. I’m seriously biting my tongue but honestly I’m kinda pissed. And truthfully, my sisters are like the coolest sisters ever so maybe I should just let them do what they want 🙁

Post # 20
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012


Just like everyone else said. Its one thing to pick different styles….but you really have a certain color & fabric in mind and I am sure the dress you bought may be nice, but it certainly wont be the exact shade as the other dress.



Post # 22
1868 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would look at the dress and then let her know in order for everyone to match, she really needs to wear the jcrew dress.  Tell her she can wear the jc penny dress to a shower or something else if she really likes it that much.


Post # 23
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would just tell her no.  The colors and material have to match.  It’s your wedding, not hers.  It’d be one thing to decide she liked another style better, but a whole new dress from a different designer…no way!  Just tell her no because you’d like a cohesiveness in material for the dresses.

Post # 24
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

tell her she either wears the JCrew dress, or she’s out. This isn’t about her.

Post # 25
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Has she been a bridesmaid before?  Maybe she doesn’t know that this is a big no-no… but in any case, just let her know that you want everyone in the same fabric, so… sorry!  You should be nice about it obviously but from they way you’re telling this I can’t tell if your sister is being rude or just totally clueless!

Post # 26
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

YOU call the shots!  And you know your sister’s attitude and disposition.  Tell her it’s what you, THE BRIDE wants… and knowing your sister, you can decide whether you tell her politely or tell her off!

Post # 27
1484 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

This doesn’t make any sense.  

Post # 28
6887 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

OP, it shouldn’t matter if the JCP dress is nice or not. You are the bride, you chose for your girls to have dresses from JCrew.  I would tell her she needs to either return the JCP dress or wear that dress for a different event. The dress for the wedding is the JCrew dress. No if’s, ands, or but’s.  Your wedding your choice

Post # 29
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would be upset!!! Especially after doing all that work for her!  Have you told her how important it is to you that they match fabric and you tried really hard to accommodate her?

Post # 30
1129 posts
Bumble bee

Agree with most everyone above.  She should wear the dress you chose – and you do sound like you gave her plenty of options.  As for the others saying they don’t think it’s wedding appropropriate, they need to remember that non-matching and/or non-traditional dresses are quite the trend.  They should be lucky that you allowed their input.

Mostly commented because your name and mine are so dang similar!

Post # 31
17 posts
  • Wedding: December 2012

Seriously, my sister’s Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses could not have been a worse choice for me. They were platnium column dresses. I am 5″ tall and not skinny. I looked like a vienna sausage wrapped in tin foil BUT, the bottom line was I said yes and that was the dress, so I sucked it up and smiled, put it on and dealt with it. Welcome to Bridesmaid land!!!

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