(Closed) my sister sucks… vent

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I would talk to your mom again. She sounds like a PITA (the sister) and I think you’ll be much happier if she is just a guest.

Post # 5
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This is YOUR wedding, not your mother’s. If your sis doesn’t wanna be a part of it, fine. It’s your mom’s choice to get upset over it. Sorry this is so difficult for you!! Good luck!!

Post # 6
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You don’t want your sister to be a bridesmaid and your sister doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid.  I don’t think I understand the problem.

Post # 7
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Hey, a fellow panda 🙂

I totally understand. My sister (I’m the 22 year old, she’s older) threw a huge fit because she didn’t like my colors and started crying because apparently she’s spent a bunch of money to be in other weddings and I guess they were all more important than mine?

I tried to give her an out, but mom’s paying for her dress and her gas/plane ticket, however she gets here for the wedding.

So….yeah. I have zero advice, but tons of sympathy!

Post # 8
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Who’s paying for the wedding?  If you’re paying for it you can (figuratively) tell your mom to shove it.  Sis doesn’t want to be in the wedding party and you don’t want her to be in it, so what’s the problem?  If mom is footing the bill though, it may get a little more complicated.

Post # 9
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Twista: “You don’t want your sister to be a bridesmaid and your sister doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid.  I don’t think I understand the problem.”

+1

Post # 10
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

while i do think that if the parents are footing the bill they get more input, i don’t think they get to dictate the wedding party.  like twista said, she doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid and you don’t want her to be one.  that’s that.

Post # 11
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t know, I think if someone is shelling out tens of thousands of dollars to pay for a wedding, they can justifiably have some say in some of the details of the wedding.  Not a whole lot, mind you, but wanting a sibling to be in the wedding party under those circumstances isn’t really that outrageous of a request.  Maybe she’s always dreamt of having her two girls in a wedding. Again, I’m not saying it’s right of the mother, she’s still being totally obnoxious in my opinion, I’m just saying that who’s funding the wedding is a factor to be considered, since the OP might be risking having mom pull the purse-strings if it really means that much to her as a parent to have sister be a bridesmaid. Would it be totally messed up of mom to do that?  Yeah.  But OP still needs to consider that possibility in making her decision. If she wants to have 100% control over everything, there’s always the option of paying for the wedding herself. 

Post # 12
Member
375 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think there’s a rule that sisters have to be bridesmaids. Give her another role!

Post # 13
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think when you talk to your mom, you should stop focusing on your sister ruining the pictures. You have a much better argument against your sister being a bridesmaid and that’s that she doesn’t want to be one. Tell your mom something like, “Sis says she’s going to feel very uncomfortable being a bridesmaid and standing up in front of everyone. I think she would enjoy herself more if she was just a guest.” That way it kind of sounds like you’re looking out for her.

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree with MissBuffalo and Bmore, great idea suggesting another role and spin it to your mom that sis doesn’t feel comfortable so you are trying to be accomodating. Mom doesn’t get to say who is a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Although my Future Mother-In-Law did try to make Darling Husband have his cousin who he isn’t close to as a Groomsmen adn I had to put my foot down b/c our sides were already uneven and Darling Husband doesn’t even like that cousin!

Post # 15
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree with the other posters. Maybe between you and your sister, you both can think of something else that your sister can do that would silence your mom. If your sister doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid and you don’t want her to be a bridesmaid, then she shouldn’t be a bridesmaid. I think you both should stick to your guns and your mom should get over it.

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