- 10 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
YOU are paying for the wedding? Then your Mom definitely does not have a say in this. I agree it would be best to present this as being a Bridesmaid or Best Man would make your sister feel horribly uncomfortable and you are not doing that to her. Your sister doesn’t want to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and you don’t want her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Remember this is YOUR wedding, not your mother’s. Let her have tantrums, just walk away. Someone has to be the adult here…
Yup, if you’re paying for it, your mom gets ZERO consideration, other than what YOU want to give her.
Tell the sister, she doesn’t have to be one, just show up as a guest. Tell mom to get over it, that it’s YOU day not HERS and walk out. If you aren’t there, she can’t yell. (YES, I have family members like that and I HAVE DONE THAT. Worked great too, especially if you have a Fiance who’ll stand there and hold you while the war goes on around you.)
Keep you Fiance informed, let him know you need his support, and then drop the mom and sister. Not from everything, but let sis be out of the wedding and let mom deal.
Not every wedding has family members as bridesmaids/groomsmen/etc. (I’m not having any of my FSILs or SIL in mine, nor is my brother going to be in it. My Fiance isn’t having his brother in it, either)
let your mom know you’ll take the heat for it and leave it as that.
so, soooo sorry you’ve gotta deal with this!!! and if you don’t want to tell your mom to deal alone, get your Fiance to have your back.
So I was wondering, what other roles can a sister play in the wedding. I know that guys can be ushers?
I’m asking because I don’t think I’d have/want sisters to be my bridesmaids.
i was going to be a female usher in my friend’s wedding (until it was called off)- i don’t think it has to be gender specific anymore. and there’s always readings or handing out programs and all that jazz.
cant really cuz my mom babysits my 3 year old every week on friday and saturday so i can work while Fiance is at work/…. so she will just be like well then i do this for you and you are doing this for me. it just sucks and thanks for letting me vent guys and all your advice is great. So i am stuck with a bridesmaid i know dosnt want to be one… it sucks. AND its my SISTER. uuuughhhh
I know this is really sneaky, but… could you talk to your dad? If he’s in the picture? (I only mention that, since you haven’t mentioned him anywhere…). Maybe if you talk to him HE can talk your mom down? Or have your Fiance do it??? (Provided he doesn’t mind taking the heat for it?)
I typically have to get my Fiance to deal with my mom, otherwise I’d blow up and she’d disown me… and REFUSE to babysit AT ALL.
I am soooo sorry you’ve gotta deal with this. 🙁 And I also understand the need to vent! so, vent all you want!!!
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