- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
I have a younger 24 year old sister. I am 27. I am married and live with my DH in a 2 bedroom condo. We live 2 hours away from her so I see her every couple months more during the summer. My sister lives with my parents in the basement. she is pregnant due Aug. 6. The father is around, but no one thinks for long he is from Mexico originally. We are worried he is either going to take off, or kidnap the baby and bring the baby to Mexico with him. She was 7 mos pregnant at my wedding. She works at McDonalds part time (was full time but part time while prego).My parents are eventually (I think they have 1 year) going to purposely lose their home.
I am SO beyond pissed at her right now I could seriously never talk to her again.
It all started (this is going to be long so brace yourself) with my aunt trying to convince my sister to have her baby shower on July 21, because the whole family will be down/around already because they are catching a plane on the 23rd to go to a family reunion in Idaho. She refused to have it then, because she thought that it was too close to her due date. I kind of agreed with her, but still thought that the 21st would still be better. She told me today she doesn’t “want to do anything on their time”. Also my cousin offered her house to have it at, but my sister also refused for no real good reason.
So we are having the baby shower on the 14th. In my parents garage in 90 degree heat, instead of my cousins huge air conditioned house. I hand MADE invites to the baby shower. I embossed a design in them and everything. Most of them were perfect, but some of them had a few mistakes with the embosser (hello they are hand-made). I also hand wrote all the info in each invite. 42 invites in all. She complained because the one I sent her “looked like crap”, and told me I should have just bought invites at the dollar store. Never said Thank You. *Stab in the heart*
I asked people to RSVP to the baby shower by July 6th. Today, she asked me if any family members were coming (like aunts+granny). (this in a chat room)
I said “no, you knew they weren’t going to come cause the date does not work for them.”
She said Is there something else going on that day, I don’t get why they are not coming”.
I said “they have so many things going on this month with traveling to the family reunion that it’s hard to travel every weekend somewhere, people don’t have the money, that is why they wanted to have it when the whole family is going to be here already, less travel and hassel for everyone.”
“She said what do you mean? My aunts live close?”
I said “that doesn’t mean they have the time/money to travel the half hour each way to a shower that they have to buy a present. For someone who prolly wouldn’t appreciate it anyway. hate to say it but you can be a brat sometimes”
She said “Wtf that’s rude to say.Wow. Goodnight.”
I said “Well sorry sometimes it seems like to expect people to do things for you. You have an attitude on you, and I don’t know where it comes from. If someone asks/wants you to do something you freak out. I love you, but you have some growing up to do”. good night.
She said “That was rude as hell to say you hurt my feelings and I have nothing more to say to you.”
Everything I said is true. I don’t know where she gets it from, but my sister feels entitled to anything, and everything. She doesn’t want to file for WIC, child support, Minnesota care(health insurance) for the baby, because it’s “too much paperwork”. She wants the baby to go on my dads health insurance. She thinks her friend will give her baby formula because her friend is on WIC. She doesn’t want to file for child support because she’ll just give the money back to the father anyway. She thinks she is going to live with my parents forever, did I mention they are losing their home? My sister is so far away from reality it’s SCARY.
She also told me today she is bored. I said how the f*** can you be bored you have so much to do! Like what? Uhh get the nursery ready, file paperwork, clean my parents basement, clean your room, ect.. She said Oh my friend so and so is coming over to help me. WTF? She doesn’t want to do anything for herself. She doesn’t understand what it means to have a baby–it is all sprinkles and sunshine for her.
Now I am going to give you a little background info so you have the whole picture. My sister is a HUGE partyier she drank every night after work till it was time to go to bed. It was all about partying. She just wants to have a good time. She did this from age 15-22 without any problems. At age 23 she had a boyfriend that ditched her and moved back to Mexico. No real goodbye or anything. She was devastated. I felt for her, but they drank a lot together so I was also kind of relieved because maybe she would stop drinking so much. Well about six mos later she introduces us to this new guy from Mexico. He is nice enough, but they just started dating so I kept my distance. One mo later we find out she is prego. 2 weeks later I get a call at work that she is in the hospital for ectopic pregnancy. She lost a F tube. I was sad because she had to go through the experience, and happy at the same time because she was not ready for a baby. THEN the shit storm hit. My sister had an anxiety attack so severe she was taken by ambulance to the ER. My mom quit her job to take care of my sis shortly after. (why they are losing their house). 2 mos later my sister is prego again from the same guy. She is now on medication that seems to do the trick in contolling her anxiety-mostly.
People keep telling me she is acting like this, because she is “pregnant and the hormones” She has always been a brat, and I thought she would grow out of it. She’s 24 it is not cute anymore.
My parents are so scared to say or do anything wrong because what if she has a another episode? So they choose NOT to parent. This is why I am stuck being the bad guy and saying mean things to her because they refuse to do it. Tough love my DH calls it. She is so mad at me. She had a wedding picture of the two of us up as her profile picture on facebook, and changed it after the fight. My sister was the crappyiest MOH ever, I could never find her, she refused to give a speech (“she didn’t know she had to give one”). ( I had no one saying nice things about me at the wedding, and everyone talking about how great a person my husband was. I looked like an idiot with no friends)
I am in my last year of college to be a social worker, so you would think I would know what to do. I am so baffled. I feel like I lost my best friend. I do not know where things went wrong. I am not even excited to be an aunt.