(Closed) My sister wants to be in the Wedding Party. My fiance adamantly says "No way!".

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 46
Member
606 posts
Busy bee

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jtgarvey:  it is your party. Your wedding too. Put your foot down.

I don’t think it has anything to do with your fiance being an only child….she is just controlling and rude. 

OR something has happened in the girl world and neither wants to tell you. 

And I only say that something happened in the girl world because my Girlfriend, though a female, is OBLIVIOUS to “girl world” so I know if I don’t say it she will have no idea snarky comments, devious actions etc have happened. 

Maybe ask if anything happened. If she refuses to own up, put your foot down and ask your sister. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  lesbimarried.
Post # 47
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

i find it interesting that you need/want your fiancee to appear kind/thoughtful. she should be able to do that on her own without your help. this issue and the issue of your sis is just the tip of the iceberg headed straight for you. as a previous poster said “stop being a doormat”. really truly you have to be honest to yourself and your fi.

Post # 48
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

Our bridal party is all of our siblings, I couldn’t imagine not having one of my sisters or brothers not in the bridal party

Post # 49
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

You need to discuss how you both see family life in the future before you get married. I would be concerned that she intends to freeze your sister out once you are married. Her relationship with your family could become very problematic if she is possessive of you after you have children. 

Her use of the word “gross” to describe your friendship with your sister is a massive red flag to me. It shows her to be unpleasant and immature and just what does she mean by gross? Is she inferring incestuous undertones? Is she suggesting it is somehow indecent for you to be friends with your sister? You see that seems “gross” and twisted to me, not your lovely, precious relationship with your sister. 

You need to put your foot down here and see what happens. If you capitulate you are in for a lot of pain in your marriage if you want to remain close to your family. I hope you haven’t still got your lust goggles on and that you really know who you are about to promise the rest of your life to.  

Post # 50
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Just to add that I don’t agree with other Bees that your fi SHOULD have included your sister in her bridal party, many brides choose the women they have been closest to and that’s fine, people aren’t automatically close to their future sils/ bios, your sister should not have asked or expected to be in her bridal party, she is also out of order to kick off about “only” doing a reading. However that doesn’t justify your Fi’s stance on her being in your groom’s party.

 

Post # 51
Member
47 posts
Newbee

What? No. You should absolutely get to choose who stands on your side, and if you are your sister’s only sibling then I think it’s fair enough for her to want to be in the wedding party.

I plan to have all my siblings (including my brother) on my side when I get married, it might be a bit unusual but who the hell cares? 

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