(Closed) My sister wants to do roller derby in France around my wedding….

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well it’s your sister, and it’s something she loves. So while it seems ridiculous to you, it’s important to her. I don’t see how one roller derby show/competition/whaterver it’s called, would affect you all that much, as it is probably only a couple hours tops. Why not make the effort to supprt her ? You don’t need to bring along everyone, you just need to tell them you are busy for a couple of hours, I am sure they can handle it.

If you really don’t want to go or supprt her, or help her out with the trnslation let her know you are too busy, and you’re sorry.

Post # 4
47 posts
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think that sounds like a really cool opportunity for your sister. Even though you want to show your guests the classier side of life, why prevent them from enjoying their passions too? That’s the thing you have to deal with if your wedding is a destination for most of your guests- they might not want to do everything you want to, because who knows when they’ll have the opportunity to be there again?

I would encourage her to pursue it, but gently let her know that you’ll be too busy around the time of the wedding to participate and/or help her. I’m sure if she just did some Google searches she could find some local groups- if she emails a bunch in English, I bet one is bound to respond. If she gets the ok to participate, maybe ask if she can do it after the wedding (if she’s in it) so you don’t have a bruised up sister in your wedding photos!

Post # 5
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m confused…is she coming into town for the wedding, and thats when she’s suggesting the derby or is she visiting you sooner for another reason and she wants you to come along? Is the translation stuff just helping her out in a foreign country or does she expect you to be her translator and go with her?

Its not really an atypical situation, taking your differences and dislike of the hobby out of it. If this is occuring in the week or two leading up to your wedding, I would politely tell her that you would be thrilled to go with her on a roller derby adventure the next time she comes to visit you, but with all the wedding activities going you, you don’t think you’ll have the time or energy. If she asks you specific questions about translations or vocabulary, I would answer them but not sit down for a two hour long tutor session or be her personal translator.

Have you gone to roller derby with her before? Outside of your wedding, I would go with her at least once to be a supportive sister. Yes, roller derby can injure you. Just like rock climbing, horeseback riding, soccer, tennis, etc. But she’s an adult and should be able to choose hobbies she loves without you judging her choices. But if she asks you all the time to go, I would just explain that its not your thing.


Post # 6
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You’re both adults, you both have the right to do your own thing and the right to not do what you don’t want to do.  Which means:  If she wants to go to a practice or bout, let her.  If you don’t have the time or inclination to help her organize that, let her know that you wish her well but you won’t be able to join her or help her.  As an adult, she can then decide how she wishes to proceed.

Sounds to me like she’s really just trying to reach out a bit, not impose something on you that you’ll resent.  “No thanks” is always a perfectly polite, acceptable answer.

Post # 7
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

(Is that group still doing the midnight roller-blading in Montmartre?  If so, that might be a fun thing to suggest for her, too.)

Post # 9
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Well if she want to do the roller derby thing, let her. If you are too busy and don’t have time to mess with it, then don’t.

Post # 10
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

If she needs help with translation, how will she go to the roller derby practice and participate?  Or does she just want to watch?

Post # 13
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think she should expect you or anyone else to go with her. If she wants to do it and it won’t get in the way of wedding activities then let her. Are you concerned that you won’t get to spend enough time with her or that she expects everyone else to go to the Derby? I think it’s fine for her to go on her own and do her own thing for a few hours but it’s not ok to expect other guests to attend her activity if they have no interest. 

Post # 14
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t really understand what she wants you to do??  I think if it’s just help her draft up an email, or make a couple phone calls – not a big deal.  If she wants you to actually come with her in the days after the wedding, I’d also say no if it’s more than a couple hour time commitment. 

Post # 15
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Let her go on her own.  This would be fun for her and a great opportunity, but gently remind her that you will be too busy around the week of your wedding to travel with her or translate. 

Luckily, most children in France learn English in school, she should be okay. 

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