(Closed) My sister wants to do roller derby in France around my wedding….

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 17
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t see your sister being inconsiderate or rude here. She never said anything about including your guests; she stated she understood if you were too busy. All she asked was that this was something she loved and she wanted to include you on it. I don’t know your relationship; but myself would make time for my sister and her passions. Even if “I don’t get them”. Obviously you guys are different, embrace it. Go and see what it’s about; you might actually have fun and destress from the wedding. It’s just a few hours; I’m sure your guest s may want to do their own thing at times.

Post # 18
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Does it have to be one event or the other?  On the day and at the time of her roller derby event have guests decide whether they want to do your pre planned event or do the roller derby thing.  I imagine some will stay with you and some will go with her.  Prior to the roller derby event and post the event, the guests would be all yours.

If it is a matter of taking you away from your wedding events for her roller derby event, tell her that you are hosting everyone who is arriving for the wedding and you can’t/don’t want to put aside your own wedding during the actual time people are in town for it.  It may be that she just hasn’t thought about what she is asking.   

Post # 19
10849 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Au Jardin: I would give her the links to a couple of local groups and tell her to have fun, but unfortunately you won’t be able to join her at a derby. No biggie for her to take a night while she’s on vacation, and if I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t really want to go either.

Post # 20
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If your sister is part of a derby league, she already has plenty of help with setting this up.  It is really common to spend a practice with the local league when traveling.  I’m sure it’s not the first time they’ve hosted an American.  I say let her deal with it, ask her to do it in the time after the wedding in case she does injure herself.

Post # 21
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Au Jardin: In that case just let her go to her rollerderby thing and plan something else that everyone wants to do. If it means she misses out on a group outing then that’s her choice! That time is not about her so your visitors will be wherever you are. It doesn’t even sound to me like she wants everyone else to go with her.

I have travelled in large groups before, lived abroad and visited family in Europe and it’s hard to please everyone and get everyone together. Don’t stress too much about it! 

Post # 23
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

Such a bizaar request!  However judging from the email you posted I don’t think she really expects you or your other guests to go participate and watch her.  I think the email is more of a heads up on what she’s doing and a request to translate a few things.

I agree with @bakerella.  Tell her it sounds fun and give her a few links but tell her that you won’t be able to join her because you’ve got a full plate the week before the wedding.  I’d also throw in a “be careful.”  I’m sure you don’t want her all banged up for your wedding. 

Post # 25
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Au Jardin:  chances are very very small that she would actually get injured.  1. she has experience doing this.  2. i’m sure she would be extra carefull because she is in a foreign country.

Please don’t over worry yourself with this.  You can’t control everything leading up to the wedding. Just have to hope that people are adults and act accordingly.  

I’m sure everything will be fine!        

Post # 26
128 posts
Blushing bee

my opinion….is to get away and go to the rollerderby for a couple hours, it would be completely worth it! Embarassed Take a break from the wedding stuff have your parents entertain the relatives for dinner if that’s possible and spend time with your sister for one night before you get married. just because i have a good friend who is like a sister in it too and being at it in person is a whole different experience than what you would think of it being outside of rollerderby.

i do think it would bond the two of you. I am so so proud of my friend in rollerderby although it is nothing i would ever do myself I love seeing her in action, doing her thing, people cheering her on, and asking her for autographs. It brings tears to my eyes when I see it cause I’m just so proud to see her being so happy in her own way. It brought us a lot closer than we ever were in fact. Just being a supporter of her is important. It might not be big to you but it is big to her espeicially since it sounds like you haven’t ever gone before.

And rollerderby is a lot of fun!!!  a great time I promise. If Fiance and I can get a night out alone that’s actually one of the things we go do for fun now. It should be experienced I think.

Oh and you and your mom should watch the movie “Whip It”.

Post # 27
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

<— Derby girl here.


I know the problem at hand is probably long since resolved, but I just wanted to put your mind at ease. Yes, there is “hitting” in roller derby (though it’s really more like moshing than an uppercut or something.) And there is a lot of falling. But the thing is, we are taught from our very first days exactly how to fall to minimize injury. We are taught the proper stance to take the hits, so that when it does get full-contact, the possibility for injury is minimized. 😀 hope that sets your mind at ease.

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