(Closed) My sister wants to get married 1 month after me

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should my sister get married one month after me, even if she knows it hurts me?

    No, it's no big deal

    Absolutely! What is she thinking?

  • Post # 107
    Member
    665 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Wow… I can’t believe how snarky some of these comments have been… I thought this was a place of support? Honesty is good, but geeze.

    Personally, I’m an only child… and even in regards to a friend would I never set a date that close to their wedding date. I hope things have calmed down since this was posted!!! Best of luck!!!

    Post # 108
    Member
    145 posts
    Blushing bee

    I can understand why you feel that way.  It’s not just the wedding day…it’s an entire special time in your life.  I think it’s a time of really unique closeness with your mother and/or other older women in your family, and it’s a time of a lot of reflection and preparation.  There is a temptation to feel that part of that is being taken away from you.  Also, I’ve noticed that a lot of sisters feel like they’re in competition, and if you already have that competition/jealousy dynamic, it’s going to feel like another time in a long string where you are being compared with each other. 

    I’m sure some of this has already been covered above (I skimmed, but didn’t totally read the previous three pages), but I do think it’s kind of a difficulty for your guests.  Some will have to travel and take time off work or school, which is rough to do two months in a row.  Others will feel a financial strain because they want to get both of you gifts.  Your family is likely to get stressed out too, especially if they are helping with costs or with DIY projects.  

    Ultimately, of course, you can’t dictate when she gets married.  If she knows this upsets you and still goes ahead with her plans, there’s nothing you can do.  If she’s set on this date, do your best to enjoy having the experience together.  It will be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to bond with your sister.

    Post # 108
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    wow… 

    I actually started googling to find out what to do cause im in a similar situation and found this post..2 months is close.. wanna hear my story?

    My brother decided to get married the day after me. 

    you tell me how i should feel.

     i cant say anything cause my family is behind it 🙁 

    Ive lost all excitment for my wedding..i feel sorry for my fiance:(

    I really can do anything and my wedding is in less then 2 months…

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by  sadbridesad.
    Post # 109
    Member
    2689 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    View original reply
    sadbridesad:  You really went back this far to gain sympathy!?

    Listen, you get the day to celebrate your wedding. Why would the next day both you? Are people going to be able to not attend yours because of his? If that’s not the case then it’s not a big issue!

    Post # 110
    Member
    2344 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    View original reply
    Cereza:  I think waiting 1 month is about right out of courtesy, so you have no cause for complaint. You should not be banking on monetary gifts to start your married life full stop. When I married my first husband we didn’t have a pot to piss in and we did not expect others to fund our decision. 

    Give yourself a stern talking to and enjoy the fact that you can share the ups and downs of wedding planning with your beloved sister.

    Post # 111
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    EDIT: oops this post is 7+ years old!! 

     

    It’s no deal at all. She should not have to put off her life plans at all for you feeling special for 1 month+. By being bitter instead of trying to have her share your joy and vice versa, you are hurting your relationship. This whole post is extremely petty and immature. 

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by  MrsAtlantis. Reason: Edited because this post is 7 years old. Not sure how to delete comment
    Post # 112
    Member
    1701 posts
    Bumble bee

    7 Years later, I wonder how THIS played out! lol …this thread needs a “where are they now” update! LOL

    Post # 113
    Member
    469 posts
    Helper bee

    I wonder too! My sister’s boyfriend asked me to go with him to pick out rings last Friday…I think my bf bought my ring, like, four days before. So the likelihood is we will be engaged at the same time and marry close as well.

    Do I care? No. But I feel like my age gives me perspective. I’m mid 30s. She has been with her bf for over a decade. I’m so excited for her! I’m sure it will make our lives hectic, but I also think it’s something we will share and enjoy together. At least, I hope that’s the case. I broached it with her, and she said the same.

    But yes, I’m curious if the OP got past this.

    The topic ‘My sister wants to get married 1 month after me’ is closed to new replies.

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