(Closed) my so-called 'MOH'.

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would drop it. 

What are you expecting her to do if she is Maid/Matron of Honor and not walking down the aisle?  That could lead to some confusion so it might be best to clear it up earlier rather than later. 

Post # 4
Member
13251 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Natalieh86:  I had the same question.  Why isn’t she walking down the aisle?

Post # 5
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You could just say that you changed yourmind and you are not having a wedding party -leave it at that.  

@Natalieh86:  I’m in Louisville too! (waves)

Post # 6
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@MissSangria:  Hello! It’s always nice to see other Louisville peeps on here, not too many of us!

Post # 8
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m confused – if you don’t have a wedding party, thjen why do you have a MOH?

Post # 10
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I wouldn’t worry about it, she’s only a Maid/Matron of Honor in name to you. It’s not like she is walking down the aisle and, really, if she didn’t show up would anyone notice? The point is, she’s not walking, not standing up besides you and isn’t helping you with planning. Just take it as a friend who you SOMETIMES talk wedding with.

Post # 11
Member
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

To be honest, I can see her side of this.

You ask her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor… and then you change your mind (about her, her role, and the vision of your whole wedding)

YES it is your day…

BUT that doesn’t mean you get to be inconsiderate & rude to people who care about you

You owe her an apology… you changed your mind * … not cool, but it seems this is the direction you now wish to go

*NOTE – It isn’t cool because you will be hurting her feelings… you don’t ask someone and then back-track don’t ask them.  This is the PRIMARY REASON you’ll read in Etiquette Books that it is imperative when hosting a Wedding, that you do your Research BEFORE you extend invites to events, or ask folks to honour you by attending, taking part, organizing things and such.

Personally… I’d suck it up and go with at least part of your original vision… a Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man.  You’ll be surprised how helpful it is to have a “buddy” you can talk to about the Wedding Plans etc, and someone who is there to help you get ready etc on your big day.  I am eloping this time round… and I know that I’ll miss having a Maid/Matron of Honor to help me get ready and giggle with, drink champagne with, etc.

 

Post # 12
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@ellex3:  So have you made it clear to her that you aren’t having a bridal party? Or just that she’s not walking down the aisle. I think at this point your best option is to make it clear to her that you aren’t having a bridal party and that you look forward to her being there to celebrate your wedding as a guest.

Eta- also agree that you owe her an apology for the back and forth but I think if you explain that you got caught up in the excitement when you asked her and have since changed your vision for the wedding that she would be fine with that.

The topic ‘my so-called 'MOH'.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors