Post # 1
so to make not such a long story.. here are some bits of info i need advice on.
i don’t know how to deal with the situation.. if i should say something or if i should just drop it since i’ve already decided that the only people that will be walking the aisle will be me, Fiance and of course my dad. (no bridesmaids, no groomsmen, no flower girl and no ring bearer.)
– i’ve only known her for about a year this month.
– met through work, there is a bit of an age diff (not a lot, like 7 years.. is that a lot? haha)
– we were really good friends when we worked together/hung out a lot after both of us move on to better jobs
– now that it’s been awhile we have kind had a falling out.. we don’t really talk to eachtoher anymore, nor so i see her any more..
– we use to atleast meet up once a week to just hang out/shop/etc. (we have quite a bit of distance between our houses)
– it’s been about 1.5 months since i’ve seen her..
– i’ve been getting kinda annoyed at her attitude lately when we text eachother.. (shes always had an sarcastic tone but it’s been more annoying lately then anything)
– whenever i try to discuss wedding bits she’s very ‘brush it off her shoulders’ kinda attitude.. (last time we actually got to hang out we decided it would be a ‘shop for wedding deco/get ideas’ kind of a day but it some how turned into ‘buying furniture for her room/let’s set it up’ kinda day.. i felt a bit used like i was just there for the ‘extra hands’)
i just feel i made a to rush into things about asking her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor and that i honestly don’t know what to do. i’ve already discussed with her about her not walking during the ceremony (which i kinda dig anyways because i honestly just want me and Fiance to walk.. it is OUR day.. and it’s going to be a nice little intimate wedding so i think it fits into the theme pretty well).
should i just kinda ‘get over’ it since she’s not really too-too involved with the wedding? (shes just named ‘MOH’ but doesn’t really hold the responsibilities to it)
BLAH. i think i might’ve answered my own question but eh.. any second opinions would be lovely.
thank you for reading my /rant.
Post # 3
I would drop it.
What are you expecting her to do if she is Maid/Matron of Honor and not walking down the aisle? That could lead to some confusion so it might be best to clear it up earlier rather than later.
Post # 4
@Natalieh86: I had the same question. Why isn’t she walking down the aisle?
Post # 5
You could just say that you changed yourmind and you are not having a wedding party -leave it at that.
@Natalieh86: I’m in Louisville too! (waves)
Post # 6
@MissSangria: Hello! It’s always nice to see other Louisville peeps on here, not too many of us!
Post # 7
@Natalieh86: @MissSangria: This all started BEFORE i even decided to have her not walk the aisle.. after discussing it with Fiance and my family since it is a pretty intimate ceremony and the venue is very limited and as i do not have a wedding party it just made sense to us to keep it very simple and intimate.
Post # 8
I’m confused – if you don’t have a wedding party, thjen why do you have a MOH?
Post # 9
@MrsWBS: in the beginning (around may) i had the intentions of having a small wedding party (a.k.a. 1 Maid/Matron of Honor and 1 best man) but now that things have shifted and the venue has been booked my vision is not as ‘grand’ as i would have hoped for so things have changed.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t worry about it, she’s only a Maid/Matron of Honor in name to you. It’s not like she is walking down the aisle and, really, if she didn’t show up would anyone notice? The point is, she’s not walking, not standing up besides you and isn’t helping you with planning. Just take it as a friend who you SOMETIMES talk wedding with.
Post # 11
To be honest, I can see her side of this.
You ask her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor… and then you change your mind (about her, her role, and the vision of your whole wedding)
YES it is your day…
BUT that doesn’t mean you get to be inconsiderate & rude to people who care about you
You owe her an apology… you changed your mind * … not cool, but it seems this is the direction you now wish to go
*NOTE – It isn’t cool because you will be hurting her feelings… you don’t ask someone and then back-track don’t ask them. This is the PRIMARY REASON you’ll read in Etiquette Books that it is imperative when hosting a Wedding, that you do your Research BEFORE you extend invites to events, or ask folks to honour you by attending, taking part, organizing things and such.
Personally… I’d suck it up and go with at least part of your original vision… a Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man. You’ll be surprised how helpful it is to have a “buddy” you can talk to about the Wedding Plans etc, and someone who is there to help you get ready etc on your big day. I am eloping this time round… and I know that I’ll miss having a Maid/Matron of Honor to help me get ready and giggle with, drink champagne with, etc.
Post # 12
@ellex3: So have you made it clear to her that you aren’t having a bridal party? Or just that she’s not walking down the aisle. I think at this point your best option is to make it clear to her that you aren’t having a bridal party and that you look forward to her being there to celebrate your wedding as a guest.
Eta- also agree that you owe her an apology for the back and forth but I think if you explain that you got caught up in the excitement when you asked her and have since changed your vision for the wedding that she would be fine with that.