Post # 1
So my SO is deaf, I’m 100% used to it since I grew up in a large extended deaf family. I’m not shy about having a deaf family and I embrace it all the time, it is part of who I am and I love it.
BUT, when my friends found out, they were not so thriled, and actually stopped talking to me, started spreading rumors, etc. In hindsight I’m glad that I found out they aren’t my true friends, but at the time it hurt mine and my SO’s feelings pretty bad. All of us had been friends since we were 10, and they up and left all of a sudden, he felt like it was his fault. 🙁 It definitely isn’t and we have both gotten over it and moved on. I wonder if anyone else on the Bee has experienced this?
I’m also sure my dad’s side of the family will be a little less than welcoming to my SO. My dad is the only deaf person on his side of the family (his mom had scarlett fever when she was pregnant with him). They act pretty cold to us when we are around, but my mom’s side of the family makes up for it since they are ALL deaf. I explained to my SO that it was bound to happen and I don’t want him to feel hurt, I know he will though, I would too if I were in his shoes.
Sometimes people can be so cruel, eh?
So has anyone else experienced this?
And is anyone else on here deaf or have an SO, Fiance, DH that is?
Post # 3
@miss.wiggums: I only have one friend who is partially deaf so I cannot say I’ve experianced this but I just want to say I’m so sorry that people were so cruel to you and your SO. I cannot imagine being mean just because someone was deaf. That seems so incredibly strange to me.
Post # 4
Neither DH or I are disabled, but I wanted to say that I’m so sorry that happened to you. That just doesn’t make any sense to me whatsoever. How can people be so ridiculous?! That just makes me so angry!! ((hugs))
Post # 5
DH and I are not disabled. That being said he and I used to attend Deaf club when we lived in michigan. I grew up with neighbors who were deaf and I never took it as a disablity. I can’t imagine the pain it is causing you and your SO but remember you love him and that is all that matters. Family will either come around or they won’t. Also with your “friends” perhaps they don’t understand how he makes you happy, but it breaks my heart to think they can’t support you. I hope things get better for you and send big (((hugs)) your way.
Post # 6
@miss.wiggums: My SO is also deaf. He doesn’t sign because he has about 15% of his hearing and reads lips. We communicate just fine at home, but it does get difficult to impossible when we’re out, especially in noisy restaurants.
I can relate because my mom disapproved of me dating someone deaf. She passed away before she got to meet him so she’ll never know what a wonderful man he is. I’m so sorry that your friends and family have been so cruel. :/
Post # 7
@miss.wiggums: That’s absolutely terrible. Your friends should be supportive. You said you have been friends since you were 10 years old, so they should know that this disability has ALWAYS been a part of your life in some sort of way.
I don’t understand why it’s such a huge deal because someone is deaf. Would they rather him be a drunk, drug addict or abusive towards you? Sigh. People disgust me. I’m seriously appalled and angry for you two!
I’m glad you found someone that makes you happy and that you love. I wish you two the best of luck. Don’t let anyone ever bring you two down.
Post # 8
My ex sister in law is deaf and her husband is not… totally normal to me. And their kids are bilingual! 😉
Post # 9
This is awful and I don’t understand it. There are so many ways that we, as humans, treat people badly – but treating someone poorly because of a disability is just horrible. My only thought is that sometimes people act strangely with things they aren’t familiar with, out of sheer awkwardness. In any case, I say you shun whomever treats you or Fiance badly and embrace better people into your life.
Post # 10
I’m sorry your friends were such jerks. I haven’t experienced anythig like this before, but I think it’s great that you guys ended up together and you have such great experience in the deaf community. Because culturally speaking, deaf people do grow up a little differently, and experience things differently as well. I took ASL in highschool for two years and the deaf people I met were so funny. Plus I love the language itself, it’s so expressive, and beautiful to me.
You guys have eachother, keep your head up!!!
Post # 11
My three year old daughter is a unilateral below the knee amputee due to a birth defect. Yes, people are cruel and absolutely rude. Here is the run down of some of the gems I have heard come out of people’s mouths.
“Did you take drugs when you were pregnant? Is that why she is like that?”
“I would be so pissed off at my parents if they amputated my foot.”
“How does it make you feel that she will never find a man that will love her?”
“Is there anything else wrong with her?”
So yes, I understand the frustration.
Post # 12
Interesting I had a friend in school that was deaf, she signed but also read lips and good hear a bit if you talked really loud, She could talk as well her voice just had the typical deaf tone to it. She was just part of the group and nobody treated her different. She used to teach us sign language it was awesome. 🙂
Post # 13
I have a lot of Deaf friends and I am very involved in the community . Sometimes when I have had functions where I “mix” friends, my signing-impaired friends have made some audist comments or have just been ignorant… I havent lost many friends over it as sometimes it is just a good opportunity to educate people (sometimes they really just dont know any better! -ie: How do Deaf people drive?!) Stay strong , and forget those that aren’t as welcoming. surround yourselves with people that you and you SO want to be around.
Post # 14
Aww thanks everyone! I wasn’t expecting all these lovely comments! SO and I certainly make sure we associate with better people now, who aren’t going to be weird about the fact that he’s deaf!
My SO reads lips well and uses his hearing aids a lot to get him through in the hearing world, but he immediately takes them off when he gets home, and I hear ya on the loud public places deal, he can never hear me there, way too many noises to process for him.
I thought maybe it was becuase they thought it was awkward, but he speaks well and I didn’t have to interpret for them, he fends well on his own in those kinds of situations without my help. They also have been around my parent’s for hmm, 9 -10 years now, so I can’t see anything being awkward. Oh well!
My goodness! I am absolutely appauled at the things people have said to you about your daughter! No matter if your daughter is missing body parts or not I am 100% sure she is so beautiful. There are a lot of people who could use a good punch in the nose!
haha I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked how deaf people can drive, or talk! My goodness talking was a big one. I just tell them to plug their ears, can they still talk? Sometimes I wonder about people’s common sense!
Post # 15
Ugh, people make me sick. No one deserves to be treated like that. I’m going to have to come back to this because I am so aggravated by the behavior of your former “friends”.
Post # 16
@miss.wiggums: wow that is ridiculous.. just because he is deaf?? they should accept him because you accept and love him.. that’s all that matters.. people are so shallow! i’m glad you found out who your real friends are, or i guess aren’t!!
i’m sorry you had to experience that!