(Closed) My SO has a disability, does anyone else?

posted 9 years ago in Wellness
Post # 17
Member
2141 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That’s crazy that your friends and family would treat you and him that way! I can’t believe how rude people are to make the comments about people that they do. My fiancé isn’t disabled or anything, but I had a tumor when I was a baby and lost the vision in my right eye. I have a lot of problems with it and there’s always been white scar tissue over part of it which keeps growing. My entire pupil has pretty much become white and cloudy. People always stare at it when I talk to them and ask what’s wrong with me. It drives me nuts. My fiancé always says he’s gonna give me his eye. I tell him no because his are blue and mine are brown so they wouldn’t match, so people would still stare lol.

Post # 18
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

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@MrsFuzzyFace: I am in shock people actually say those things!!!

i am sorry you have to hear that stuff!! well there’s something wrong with the people saying that stuff to you, not you or your daughter!!!!

Post # 19
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@MrsFuzzyFace: People never cease to disgust me. And, I really wish they would. I’m sorry you have to experience that.

Post # 21
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t have any experience with something like this, but I just want to say that those “friends” you had are a-holes and straight up nasty people! What kind of human being would “un-friend” someone because they have a disability or are associated with someone who does?? Talk about people with no heart. Good riddance to them! Ugh, sorry I get really upset with these kind of things. 

Here’s to many years of happiness for you and your SO, and to being surrounded by GOOD people who care about you both!

Post # 22
Member
2191 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I don’t know anyone who is deaf but your title asked if anyone else’s SO are disabled and my Fiance is legally blind. 

He isn’t completely blind. He has really good Peripheral vision and can see me like sitting in the livingroom but can’t read things unless they are super close to his face and even then that doesn’t work. He can’t see things the same way you or I can but he can see enough to know what’s going on. I wish I could see how he sees just once so I could better understand. 

He does collect disability payments but also works fulltime. You wouldn’t know he was blind unless he told you because he doesn’t use it as a crutch. 

We have a running joke that I tell him “the only reason he loves me is because he must only be able to see half of me” lol Since I’m a thicker girl I thought it was funny so his response has always been ” bitch I know what I’m looking at” lol 

He is great about it and told me many times that so many women wouldn’t give him a chance because he would tell them that he couldn’t drive and their response would be “Like Never?” and when he said “yes” they wouldn’t want to date him anymore. He has always called me his angel. 

To me, his eye sight doesn’t define him as a man. And he’s a damn good man. 

Post # 23
Member
7605 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I guess things like these help us see who our real friends are, eh?  You and your Fiance are better to not have them in your lives.  I don’t have any experience with obvious disabilities myself, but recently spent a month or so in a wheelchair.  I’ve never been stared at so much in my life….makes you think about things, people, and their situations, that’s for sure.

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@MrsFuzzyFace: That’s unreal.  People can be such clods.

Post # 24
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My FH is legally blind as a result of heart surgery gone wrong- no sight in his left eye and 20% in his right. I don’t notice it much and you can’t tell from looking at him that he is visually impaired. I tend not to tell many people unless they are close to me due to reactions, and people who are around him that dont know can’t tell.

Post # 25
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@Crisark: wow! It is sad that others would not give him a chance, but it is because he was meant to meet you!

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@bali_y: heart surgery gone wrong! That’s terrifying!

My Fiance and I do not have a disability, but I work for a program helps children that have them. I remember seeing the kids and thinking that when the get older, people will judge them based on their disability and it would make me sad. I can’t believe

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@miss.wiggums: that your friends would act that way. You don’t need people like that in  your life and it is a shame that you had to see their true colors.

Post # 26
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My SO is deaf, he has had many operations including his mastoids removed. He has a Baha small box attachment screwed into his head. If he has shaved hair it’s visible but it really doesn’t bother me, I always find it interesting when I met him!

On the plus side when he takes out his box at night he doesn’t have to hear me snore – Haha! 🙂

Post # 27
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I can’t believe people can be so horrible. My cousin dated a girl who was deaf when he was in college and a bunch of our family, myself included, traveled the 6 hours to his school to watch a play she was in and my cousin was one of the translaters for the actors. It was so much fun! They taught us how to sign for clapping and different things. I always enjoyed when my cousin would teach me signs. This wasn’t really related but I just don’t know how people can be so cold.

Post # 28
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

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@MrsFuzzyFace: Jeez burris, that breaks my heart.  I’m so sorry to hear how cruel people are.  I sometimes can’t believe that people aren’t embarassed to actually open their mouth and let this garbage out!!!

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@miss.wiggums: I’m sorry to hear that your friends are jerks!! At least you and your SO can be happy together! People really should be ashamed!!!

Post # 29
Member
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

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@Fairy_in_love:  I really love Aimee Mullins.  She was born with the some condition Leah was.  Thanks for post that

Post # 30
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My mom was deaf. They don’t know why. But she was about 80-90% in each ear. I was 90% in my left ear, I had surgery to fix it because of how much trouble I was having with scuba diving and stuff. 

I knew how to sign before i could speak. And my (long story) dad’s girlfriends daughter, can sign, because she thought it would be easier for her to express what was wrong. Now she didn’t work on speaking with her. So she was a bit slow with speaking. 

When I was growing up, it was hard because my friends didn’t really understand. I feel for you.

Post # 31
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

This whole thread just makes me so angry at the a-holes who act like disabilities make you some Neanderthal that can’t live and interact with others like everyone else. What the hell is wrong with people?

I worked retail for years. I’ve served deaf customers, blind customers, a man in a wheelchair with tiny nubs for arms, a man who’d had most of his nose and palate removed due to cancer, and people with all sorts of other disabilities, and guess what? They were all wonderful people and all just as capable of going about daily life as anyone else. That someone who has been lucky enough to never have to deal with any kind of physical or mental hardship of their own should treat them like second-class citizens is disgusting.

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